Fire The Scriptwriter

Month: March 2022

The Hamburg Diary, day three

Day 3

Tuesday March 1

Mark:

One of the massively encouraging things on our Hamburg adventures so far is that we’ve found evidence of 20 open mics in and around Hamburg. One of them is at the end of the street at a huge bar called The St Pauli Brauerei. Except when we get there we’re told they’re not doing it anymore. Oh well. Corona and all that. A lot of things have changed we will discover more and more that a lot more of those open mics are no longer in operation. However, this place is at least open and we go in and see Simon, the boss. It’s only just opened this week and he says they may well have a place for us but please wait to see how the weekend goes. Fair enough.

With that we decide to check out an open mic at a place that translates as Friendly And Competent. That’s up there in great pub names as far as I’m concerned and I’ll let you decide if I’m being sarcastic or not.

It’s a bit of a trek out there but we make it in good time and get our name on the list. It’s quite a big place for an open mic with a pretty decent sized stage and very good sound system, all overlooked by a sound engineer who does his very best to give everyone the best possible sound – a not too common aspect of open mics.

We’re told we’ll be on fourth or fifth and we settle back for the show which demonstrates the highest overall level of any open mic we’ve attended. Everyone’s also getting the chance to do three songs rather than the usual two which is cool. We decide to go for I Like You (Better When You’re Naked), a first play of Six Sense Lover and Rock’n’Roll Tree. I’ll tell you now that, for better or worse, we’ve decided/realised that I Like You (Better When You’re Naked) is kind of a hit so will play it at every opportunity even as we start to believe we have quite a few songs that we think are, well, better. But we do love Naked and since when did songwriters have any idea of what their best songs were? Sometimes you just have to listen to the audience.

Naked gets the best response of anything all night. Rock’n’Roll Tree perfectly holds its own and, be far, this first outing of Six Sense is a little messy so it doesn’t really get a full chance. But we recover and really smash it out in the end so it’s partly rescued and goes down pretty well in the end. A girl sitting near the front is also kind enough to agree to film us on Maja’s phone and we end up with a pretty good version of Naked. It would be nice to be able to bring you one of the other songs because you’ve probably heard Naked once or twice already, but we weren’t best please with them, so this is what we have from tonight.

There’s a bit of a paradox about this place. It has a really cool vibe and, like I said, some of the best performers we’ve come across. But no-one really talks to anyone else. There’s no actual sense of songwriter community, or any other kind of community really; two of the best performers sit at the front, do their thing and leave. Which is also quite disappointing. We do manage an enthusiastic chance with one duo of wonderful performers, but they tell us this is the first time they’ve played their own stuff live, so the novelty value is still high for them. 

When everyone’s had a go, it’s time for the closing act to do their thing which is a cover duo. They play for half an hour or so and then the floor just seems to open up again and people can just go up and have another go. We watch this in mild confusement for a while and then, after a few people have done their thing, the host comes and asks if we wouldn’t mind going up and closing the evening. Wow. That feels like something of an honour really, first time out. So up we go and play Insanity and Freefall. That done, it’s time to start making our way home. We do that by very luckily arriving just in time to catch the last train to the Reeperbahn. 

Maja:

I’ve barely been drinking at all in Sweden and my alcohol tolerance has been greatly reduced which is something I really get to notice during our recently once again increased nightlife. I’ve had maybe two pints after performing and was not planning on getting back up on stage. I prefer to perform sober so I’ve always waited with the drinks until after performing, for the socialising part of the night. But tonight I got asked out of the blue to close the night. Of course I am going to close the night. There would be a waste not to. So we get up on stage, Mark is ready and we blast into Insanity which is a gentle but epic song. It goes down great. The crowd is cheering and I am so happy I was able to sing this song without lyrics. I’ve had a hard time with memorising all of our lyrics, there’s just so many songs to memorise and each and every one of them are incredibly lyric intense. But now I am able to do that song without lyrics. That’s an achievement for me. Let’s go for Freefall next. I love performing Freefall, the song is hard and deep with gentler moments in it and it just feels amazing to perform. When I sing it I can’t help but really go for it and to use my whole body really feeling the beat and the melody of the lyrics. As the song ends I sing the last line ‘I’m going down’ and drop down on my knees bending backward with my head almost touching the ground behind me. And the room absolutely explodes in applause. As I stand up I see the whole room looking at us and cheering. Feeling uplifted by the atmosphere of the room I say ‘Thank you, would you like to hear another one?’ fully expecting an answer. And I am met with embarrassing silence. OK, thank you, another lesson learned. Never ask the audience if they want to hear another one. Especially not in Germany. I honestly don’t believe the people here know enough English to understand my question or to answer it. And people don’t like getting put on the spot like that even if it’s clear to see that they would have loved for us to go on for longer. But this is great, you learn by making mistakes and I need to learn everything I can. I need the experience. So we thank everyone for an awesome show and start packing down our gear. This has really been an amazing night, even though the people here are not really that up for socialising. A couple of people tell us that we performed really well and we got the biggest reactions during the night, but it’s clear to see that this won’t lead to anything. It won’t be a cool afterparty to go to and there’s no future gigs to be found here. We might as well just say thank you and go back home to sleep and continue with the next day filled with the energy of finally having been able to break the no performance period we’ve had. This is the first performance since Artliners in Berlin, and it is great being on it again.

The Hamburg Diary, day four

Day four 

Wednesday March 2

Mark:

Like we did in Berlin, we’re thinking that any night we don’t get a gig, we could take ourselves off to an open mic somewhere, but we have a look today and discover there isn’t a single one happening tonight. And that list of 20 plus that we found, on closer look, we discover that nearly all of them happen only once or twice a month. Or, in one case, four times a year. So it really isn’t as abundant as it first appeared. And of course, Corona and all that, the list is hopelessly out of date. Totally understandably so, but yeah. So many of them aren’t happening anymore, or the places have closed down, or not opened yet. And that is really what’s happening right now. And again, we kinda knew it when coming. Hamburg isn’t really open until this weekend and we’re starting to see that it’s really mainly a weekend city anyway, or at least that’s how it’s currently operating.

Today’s the day to go out and see if we can find somewhere to park the car for free. We go and rescue it from the paid parking we’ve had it in since we got here and set off for the outer suburbs of Hamburg. Here, Maja decides to follow the route of the overground S Train so that we can hopefully be near a train station when we do eventually find parking. We also use the drive as an opportunity to take a detour or two and check out areas where we know certain venues are. What we discover is that, apart from the Reeperbahn where we’re staying, bars and venues are very sporadically spread about the city. We’re gonna go check the city centre later too, but with that being quite close to where we are, we can now see that we really are ideally situated and probably won’t have to travel too much for gigs. We also see that there’s going to be no point coming out to these areas to hustle and can’t now either because, yes of course, everywhere’s closed.

It takes a while, but we do find our parking space then jump on a nearby train to go check out the city centre which sits in the middle of a whole bunch of sea channels, so bridges and river-looking things all over the place. And while the Reeperbahn is nothing but bars of various description and a few shops, here there are hardly any bars or venues and we’ve found the place where you can buy things that aren’t food. We start to think about walking back and seeing what we can find barwise to possibly hustle on the way but we come to the conclusion that there probably won’t be anything, so as we reach the edge of the city we jump on the train and head back. Totally confirmed. For hustling, the only place to be is the Reeperbahn.

The Hamburg Diary, day five

Day five

Thursday March 3

Mark:

Moving day. Our hotel was booked up until today and we decided on Monday to check out the Kiez Bude, the hostel I stayed at all that time ago. And boy were we impressed. Even more so when they agreed to beat our room rate at our current place. It’s also right across the road from us, so a really simple transition to an amazing, pink en suite double room in, and yes this is really true, a former brothel. And they fully, er, embrace their past in the whole decor of the place, which includes their famous side by side two person toilet. The place is empty and we have our pick of rooms and so are able to bag their most famous and most popular room, the pink room. It’s up one flight of stairs, so a little carrying for us, but nothing major. We can handle this. A game changer here is that it has a kitchen with a microwave and a fridge. Things you normally take for granted, but a major deal when living on the road. This now means we can make more of our budget which, up until now, had seen us cutting back by mostly having noodle cups made with hot tea water from the last place, supplemented by as much fresh fruit as possible. Living like we do, when you have no kitchen facilities at all, it’s noodles and the like, supplemented by as much fresh fruit as possible, or have breakfast, lunch and dinner on the street or in cafes or bars, or restaurants in extravagant moments, and damn that can add up. 

Not only does the Kiez Bude have a kitchen, it also has a bar. Or at least a bar type area. Currently unstaffed and unstocked, but still a really cool hang out place to have. And at the back of the bar is a huge, and I mean huge, sofa on a slightly raised stage type construction. This will become our office for writing sessions and we sit here, literally as I type this, surrounded by sex memorabilia – is that the right word? – and erotic pictures. There’s even a Kiez Bude calendar over the bar, and the picture of the page for March is our room. This bar is just two or three metres from our room. And from our window we look right out onto the Reeperbahn and Beatles Platz. We can now see exactly how busy things are without even venturing outside. And yes. It’s Thursday, so approaching the weekend, and there is indeed a little more activity than we’ve been seeing since we got here on that explosive Saturday. Maybe we can actually find a few more bars open now. Time to go hustle.

A little high lighted inventory.

The London Bar. Why not? Quite small, but could possibly be good for low key daytime gigs if they’re up for it. They’re not. Apparently they’ve tried music in the past but neighbours upstairs got that thing vetoed and they don’t want to touch it anymore.

We go next door to the Scandinavian bar. We’ve hesitated about this place due to it’s silly boxing machine but we’ve thought, why the hell not, so here we are today. We meet the actual owner Anil. He says we could possibly do something in here tomorrow but he’s also leaving Hamburg tomorrow for the weekend. He may well let us know today, he may not. He doesn’t.

A few more bars are open that we’ve not seen and we go and check them out, everytime having to stop and have our Corona stuff checked before we can even go in and see the place to decide it’s too small or unsuitable and so we immediately turn and walk out.

What we are finding quite a bit is that people perk up when we tell them why we’re here, but we’re also finding that a lot of managers aren’t about and so we still can’t make any inroads.

One place we might be able to make some kind of inroad is Cowboy Und Indianer. And anyway, it might be a place to go have a drink. As soon as we arrive, Sven is there to greet us like long lost friends. And there’s a band playing. Great. We order a pint and settle back to enjoy the band which is a three piece playing covers. Before our drinks are finished, Sven is round to us with free shots. Wonderful. Thankyou very much. Then, when our drinks are finished, he returns and gives us free beers. We might just be able to get used to this. When we order another round, he comes and talks to us and says that we may be able to play here on Monday. Nothing confirmed, but cool. Something of a possible. 

We arrive back at the hotel to discover there’s nobody there. Nobody. Not, no guests. I mean, no staff, nobody. The admin office is a few doors down the street and there’s no-one running the bar or anything else. And we know the guests for the week have left and that no-one else has checked in. We are totally alone in here. 

The Hamburg Diary, day six

Day six

Friday March 4

Maja:

Hamburg has finally eased its covid restrictions. Finally. Now dancing is allowed again and places such as nightclubs that have been forced to close can open up again under the 2G+ rules. 2G+ means that you have to show full vaccination plus a booster or a daily test, and if you can show this you’re let in and can act as normal in the venue. Which means that you don’t have to wear those horrible super thick facemasks anymore that Germany has decreed you have to use as soon as you leave your seat. So finally we can have some kind of normality inside the venues again, and more places have opened back up as well. And we are here and ready for the reopening of Hamburg.

We made sure to rest yesterday after the move to have energy for hustling a town that is opening up. There’s no point wasting energy on a closed city. We’re out at 6 PM all prepared and ready to hustle for gigs. Our first stop is the Thomas Read Irish Pub and Club. Honestly I think it is a bit of a strange concept to have an Irish pub combined with a club, I always thought that an Irish pub would be a kind of chill place to sit and enjoy a couple of pints with friends and at times there would be some music or football going on. I would never really connect that experience with a club. That just seems a little bit wrong to me. We go in and enter this relaxed beer garden too cold for anyone to sit in, leading into the pub. The pub looks like it could have been taken right out of Ireland and placed here. The interior is full of the traditional dark wood that you would find at any Irish pub, there’s a couple of people already in drinking beer even though the place opened just a couple of minutes ago. They’re comfortably sitting at the bar as much a fixture as the furniture itself. We sit down at the bar for a second while Mark shows me the Whiskey selection which is one of the most extensive I’ve ever seen. I first look at just one shelf which is full of different kinds of high end whiskey which I would just love to try, and yes, the place has a great selection. I understand why Mark has talked so much about it. And then my eyes wander to the side of that shelf and I find another one. And another one. There must be three or four shelves of whiskey. Now I get it even more. That’s a lot. 

Mark:

When I was here with Drunken Monkees, we actually met and hung out with the guy who actually devised these shelves and personally sourced all the bottles. It was a matter of great pride to him and he told us that the bar owner just totally trusted him and let him get on with it to create the concept, which is still very much in place to this day.

Maja:

Well, much like Mark’s previous Hamburg experience, we’re not here on vacation. We’re here to work, and that means hustle. We need to find the manager so Mark asks the bartender while I look around a bit more. The bartender seems interested in what we have to offer, and actually goes to find the manager who is running around in the club and live event area downstairs preparing for tonight’s gig. It’s actually very cool that he is trying to get hold of the owner for us. But he soon comes back and says that the owner is far too stressed trying to set up the venue for the first gig since today is the first day in ages where they have been able to have music on. Fair enough. He also asks us to come back later, when it’s calmed down a bit. Sure thing. And we leave to try somewhere else.

There’s this bar or maybe I should call it a restaurant right under our room which we had a good feeling about but it’s always been closed. As we walk out of Thomas Read we decide to check it out. It is open. The place is called Bei Teresa and there’s a couple of young people there singing karaoke and drinking way too much for the time of the day. It’s obvious that they are using the place as a pre party before going out clubbing. We walk in and ask for the manager. There seems to be two of them, Teresa and Tommy. Approaching Teresa she meets us with positive sounds and asks us to ask Tommy. He is busy running back and forth at the back of the venue. He seems really positive and welcomes us to come play tonight. Great. We decide to return in an hour or so to set up. The night is still early, and we have other places we want to go to before it gets too late. And now we have our first gig. Progress.

We walk to the area around the back of the London bar. We’ve already scouted it and seen a bunch of bars there that seem like possible venues for us to play in. We go in and talk to a few bar managers, but we soon discover that a whole bunch of bars in this very area go through the same booker. After being sent to talk to this person, then that person and so on a few times, we finally meet the one lady responsible for all the live music in this very concentrated area of venues. She’s perfectly polite and pleasant and gives us her time, but it also becomes very clear that she is only interested in cover acts that can play three 45 minute sets in a night – the format we’re discovering is pretty much the standard around here. Nothing original. At all. And all the bars in this immediate area only have music through her, locking off this whole place to us. There’s no point lingering around here. Time would be much better spent in other areas where the music isn’t sourced through bookers in this strict way. OK. Fair enough. Let’s go back and play our gig.

Mark:

This is really frustrating. Walking up and down and around this area in the past week or so has been so exciting and full of promise as all we’ve been able to see is venues advertising live music. More than I’ve ever seen in a single area, including Benidorm – again, cover town. No originals please. On this one street alone earlier in the day, we stood in one spot and counted no less than seven live venues, and that was just the ones that advertised the fact. So to come and discover that they’re all sewn up with coveracts and no room for anyone like us is a bit of a kicker.

Maja:

And here I ought to explain in case you wonder why we are walking to all these venues like this, trying to talk to the managers. It’s because this is the only way we have of any chance of getting to play. We’ve emailed every venue we could find, around 40 plus venues in Hamburg, but we haven’t even gotten a single reply. Oh that’s actually wrong, we got one nice reply with someone that couldn’t put us on but recommended us to email a couple of other venues. Which we did, of course. But that is all fruitless. No one is answering, no one gives us an opportunity. I don’t know why, but that is how it has been so far. So that leaves us with two options, scrap our dreams of music totally and just go live conventionally, or to actually get out into the world, knock on doors, and generally just make it happen by sheer force. So here we are, investing in ourselves, backing ourselves, and trying everything we can just to get the chance of playing in front of people. 

But it’s kinda like this. Music is dead. Original music is dead. Very few people are trying anymore. Not like us. We are trying to revive it.

Mark: 

The hard truth is that, while we shouldn’t kid ourselves that it was ever easy, it’s now all but impossible for young or new acts to come through and has been for a while. Live venues are closing everywhere, of course, physical sales are barely a thing anymore and haven’t been for a long time so there’s little to no money for acts or record companies to make there, and streaming is little more than a vague promotional tool for artists; hardly anyone but the biggest make any real money. There have been cases of people receiving royalties of less than $20 for five to six million plays. Please go and read that last sentence again. The big stars make the big bucks this way largely because the model is set up to give people who sell more, a bigger percentage share of their sale. And there’s just a big general feeling that fewer and fewer people are bothering to have a go anymore. Damn, even I’d given up on songwriting and the thought of being part of an originals project at all before Maja came along. Noel Gallagher has said that he doesn’t see how another band like Oasis could happen anymore.

And on the day we put this account out, I see an interview in The Independent newspaper with The Who singer Roger Daltrey. He says that musicians can’t earn a living in the record industry anymore. ‘They’re being robbed blind by streaming and the record companies. Our music industry, I think, has been stolen. I think we really do have to be concerned when young musicians can’t earn a living writing music.’

Going into the financials, he continues, ‘The streaming companies pay so little in the beginning and then the record companies take 85, 90 per cent of that. You need a billion streams to earn 200 quid. That’s the reality.’

This is all the backdrop against which we’re operating, here now, really having a go on tour, lockdown odds and all the rest of it stacked against us. But we are writing our songs and taking ourselves out to have a real go at it. With that, we’ve decided we have to make it happen for ourselves rather than wait for someone to open some kind of door and give us permission to do it. We’ve seen around here how acts pass the hat around, even cover acts which has been a bit of an eye opener. But that really could be a way to do something and to generate our own income; bars aren’t going to pay original acts to play, and until you’re known on a pretty big level, no-one’s going to come out and pay entrance to a venue to see you. So if we’re to really do anything, we have to do it ourselves and we have to do it now. 

Maja: 

We get back to our hotel room and pack up our gear, including preparing the two trolleys with stuff strapped on to them. We are now ready to walk the extremely long walk to our gig. All twenty steps from our door to Bei Teresa’s door. Finally we’re about to get to play a full show. It’s been a while since we did that. The clubbing boys leave for their clubs as we start setting up, and there’s this one guy meaning to leave any second now, and he just keeps on staying. It’s quite amusing to see how he just stands there with his mouth half open watching us, meaning to leave, but never quite doing so. There’s a couple of other people there as well. As we get into the show, I especially notice this older couple that totally seem to enjoy every song. I decide I’m playing for them tonight. Thank you for being here, thank you for listening, and I am glad you’re enjoying it. I enjoyed playing for you tonight.

As we finish Tommy asks us to come back and play tomorrow. Today has been a little too dead but he really likes what we’re doing. Great. We just got ourselves a return gig. This is just brilliant. We played and the owner likes us, an original act, enough to ask us to come back. That doesn’t happen. This is brilliant. This is success. Happy we set out for our shortest journey ever back home to drop the equipment off in our room which is directly above the venue. Once there, considering it vertically, we are just a metre or two away from where we just played. 

Mark: 

Yes, the gig was disappointingly dead, but the few people who were in there really seemed to enjoy it, especially an older German couple near the front window who tell us they stayed because of the show. And the staff has been giving us good vibes about it  all too. Great.

I might just be getting ahead of things here, but I’m starting to wonder if this could be a residency. Tommy wants us again tomorrow, whatever has happened tonight. Based on that, once we’re upstairs in the room, me and Maja are starting to talk about this being a place we could just come and play on any off night. And if we are able to be here everynight more or less, maybe, just maybe, word could get around and we really could start to build something. Right under our hotel room. But all those thoughts get destroyed when we return downstairs and outside and see the opening hours of the bar. Only open at weekends. Damn. This really is a thing. Oh well. On with tonight and after that, at least we have a show tomorrow.

Maja:

Happy and giddy with the return gig and the prospects of an eventual residency, we freshen up and leave for our next hustle. Let’s go to Thomas Read. Mark has a really good feeling about this place and thinks that it could be a big possible gig for us, so it is high on the list of venues to visit. So we go and first I think that the line of people is to the nightclub next door, but no. There are two queues. One is to the nightclub, but the other, almost equally long one, is to Thomas Read. An Irish pub. Come on, this is just ridiculous. No way we’re waiting all that time to go into a full venue. Apart from the queuing time, the fact that there is a queue tells us that it will already be far too busy inside for anyone to have enough time to talk to us. Let’s see where else we can go. There’s this music club down at the far end of the club road, Indra, which has always been closed when we’ve been walking by. Let’s see if it’s open now. It is. There’s a guy outside having a smoke and we ask him if we need to show him our covid passports. He looks up at us with a smile and a completely ununderstanding face. But as soon as he opens his mouth to say hello, we can see that he has nothing to do with security and is in fact very very drunk. He then tries a ridiculous move of leaning very far forwards while holding onto the gateposts either side of him. Of course he can’t maintain the position and is soon hurtling down the few steps, heading for a heavy fall directly at us. His body is centred on me andI have to use quite a bit of strength to keep him from falling on the ground and dragging me down in the process. What a place already, and we haven’t even gotten inside the doors. We leave the drunkard where we found him and enter the building. Finally we’re here. Indra. The place where the Beatles began in Hamburg. It’s a big room, with maybe room for 200 people, with a stage in the back and a bar close to the entrance with a couple of bar stools for the last brave guests of the night. We sit down by the bar and order a drink, weissbier, celebrating the opening up of Hamburg and our life here. First gig down, second booked, which is a return gig. It certainly means we’re doing something right. Cheers. There’s a drunk DJ with his friend standing next to the stage changing vinyl discs on a very fancy looking DJ table, with boxes of vinyl singles that they look through all the time. We go to the area in front of the stage to dance completely alone on the dancefloor, moving around to the tunes of great 60s music with our private DJ in the fully packed club district in Reeperbahn. Yes, I’d rather be here than any of the full nightclubs catering as a meatmarket for 20 year olds. There’s almost no-one here but the owner of the club, a couple of regulars and the DJs. Exactly the kind of crowd we’ve come out to meet. And, don’t tell Mark, but I only think one of them was trying to come on to me. 

When we return to sit by the bar, we’re immediately greeted with shots on the house, and then we get to speak with the owner, Sam. And yes, he tells us all kinds of stories about the Beatles, including them playing in this very room, but it looked slightly different then. And he says they often played to no-one but the cleaner who used to put her fingers in her ears since she didn’t like the sound of their music. Hearing that story I feel oddly validated. Especially after tonight’s gig to an almost empty venue. I haven’t really been through that many non attended or under-appreciated gigs, but it kinda feels good to know that no-one even wanted to listen to the Beatles when they were new. I don’t think people anywhere like to listen to new music, and that is becoming more and more a pressing problem for me. We need to find the places where people want to listen. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’d play anywhere if there’s even one person listening to us, but it’s obviously better to play where people want to listen. Well, not necessarily. If that one person is the right person, that’s the gig you want to play. But you’ll never know that. Right now it’s just a game of trying to get in front of as many people as possible. And play as much as possible, trying to gain experience. 

After sharing stories of the Beatles for a while, Sam leans in to inquire who we are. So we present ourselves, sliding over our card. The Diaries. Sam jolts back in shock. He’s heard of us and knows who we are. He says he remembers seeing an email we sent to another venue in town. So all those emails weren’t wasted afterall. I guess all you need is one to land, you just can’t possibly know which one until you’ve sent them all. He apologises that he can’t put us on right now, but there’s a gig tomorrow and he’d love for us to see it, so he puts us on the guestlist. We explain that we have a gig to play tomorrow as well, but he replies, ‘Just come before, and you can come back after you’ve played.’ As he says that, he pours us another round of those lovely baby guiness shots. 

The Hamburg Diary, day seven

Day seven

Saturday March 5

Mark:

We have very high hopes for tonight. Guest listed for a 50s rock’n’roll revival show at Indra that could lead to us meeting all kinds of people. Sam, the owner of the place with all his positive thoughts could have developed a lead or two for us to look at. And in between we have the second show at Bei Theresa to play. This last one produces a quite comical moment when I look out of our window mid morning and see Tommy sweeping the front outside area. I pop my head out for a hello to the owner of the venue right beneath our window that we’ll be playing tonight. He’s full of morning’s joys and once again exhorts us to, ‘come back.’ Yep, we definitely will. He shouts up a lot more that all sounds wonderful, encouraging and positive, but the wind, traffic noises and basic language barrierness all combine to cause his words to be somewhat lost. But the sentiment all stays intact and I make what I think are the right faces and noises at the right times and he waves a happy goodbye and goes back inside. As do I.

Maja:

It’s great to know the plans for the day. Quite unusual, but great. So during the day we can just sleep in and prepare ourselves for the show coming up. And for the show for which we’re on the guestlist. This is my very first time being on the guestlist to anything which is a moment to remember in itself. I, not knowing anybody here, walked into the coolest original music venue in Hamburg and got put on the guestlist for the show the next day. I’m having butterflies in my belly from just thinking about it. Or maybe it is belly rabbits. I like the concept of belly rabbit punches more so that is what I decided I feel right now. For the one who doesn’t know about belly rabbit punches, it’s the feeling you get in your belly when you feel so excited about something that you feel all warm and tingly in your belly. And my belly is punched by all the cutest little rabbits right now. 

Sleepy and a tad hungover from yesterday, the time just flies by and we need to get going again. If you think you’d get home from the bar, go to sleep and then wake up and be able to do things during the day before going to the next event when you’re on tour, you’re sorely mistaken. It’s just not possible. You need all the time you can get to rest during the day to show off the best you during the night. We’re straight up from bed to the show at Indra. It’s a 50’s Rock ‘n’ Roll show and everyone there is dressed like they stepped right out of the TV screen of a recording of an Elvis show. The girls are  wearing dresses with the typical iconic make-up you’d see on Marilyn Monroe. And they’re all velvet red lips and big hair. The guys have their combs ready to time and time again fixate their big hairs into perfection. The understaffed bartenders stress behind the long bar to serve the thirsty 50’s crowd and many of them are ordering cocktails while the poor barstaff are probably just asking, ‘Why can’t they just order beer?’ There’s people swingdancing in front of the stage, where the band is nowhere to be seen, and I can’t help wanting to join them. It looks fun. It’s a scene taken straight from the 50’s. Maybe I am in an alternative universe together with everyone who thinks they belong in Grease? We’ll never know.

We say hello to Sam who is busy behind the bar serving everyone drinks, and retire to wait for the band to start. It looks like we’ll have time to catch the first couple of songs before leaving to go play our own show. Everything is timed to perfection and the band will be out any minute now. Any minute now. Did you hear me, I said any minute now. Apparently not. Five minutes after showtime. Ten minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes. Any minute now. No. The clock just ticks by and we start to feel itchy as we need to get going to play our own show. Finally we give in and go to the cloakroom to collect our jackets. The band still hasn’t started. But just as we’re gathering our things, the band comes on. Finally. We can catch one song at least, and then we’ll leave for our own show. The band is surprisingly ill fitting to the crowd. Everyone is dressed modern with T-shirts and they look more like they’re going to chill with friends on a Tuesday morning and hadn’t bothered to dress nicely for it than that they’re about to play a 50’s Rock ‘n’ Roll show. But the music is really good. They even have a double bass which is played with great enthusiasm. That’s so cool. I’ve never even seen a double bass before. The song is short and the crowd goes crazy as it finishes. We, on the other hand, go the other direction and leave to some very surprised faces. The girl at the entry inquires as to why is the world we would pay 12 euro to see a show and leave after the first song to which we’re able to answer in a cool fashion. ‘We were on the guestlist. We need to go play our own show now. We’ll be back later.’ 

We collect our gear from our room and walk the ridiculously long distance of all the way down the stairs to our own gig. We’re a little underwhelmed to find that there are just a few dining guests scattered around the place. Nothing we can do about that. Maybe it will fill up later. We get on with it and set up in the window this time with the thought that it might help to bring people in the door. So we start and we go for our calmer songs, because the people sitting here just look like they want to enjoy their meal. That’s fine, my voice isn’t in that good shape today so I don’t want to give everything until we get a bit more of a crowd. But we’re not getting a bit more of a crowd. One couple after the next, the people finish their meals and leave. Leaving us to play to a not so happy bar staff. It’s depressing. It really is. So we turn around and play out for the street trying to get people in, but there’s almost no-one walking around. How can that be? Everyone around here seems to be wanting to go to the nightclubs. But even as we look across the road at Beatlesplatz, there’s hardly anyone walking by there either. We have a moment of hope when this one big group of people that stops by the window and we play them an upbeat song in an attempt to get them in the venue, and they are really digging it. They’re dancing to the music, and the lads seem to love it. We can see some lively discussion as they debate whether to enter the building or not, but they reach the conclusion not to, to the disappointment of some that gesture strongly and encouragingly to us. I feel my heart sink, this does not look good. Playing to an empty bar. Soon afterwards we pack up, get a beer each on the house and drink it to the hollow feeling of a completely flat gig. 

Well, not every gig is a success. According to a few stories we’ve heard this week, even the Beatles played to empty venues around here at times.

But what we do have is the experience of playing a gig that fell flat now. Honestly I think I did some of the best voice work I’ve done so far, and we’ve had the experience of using our gear and playing for real. Maybe the bar staff enjoyed us? They were at least really encouraging and nice to us.

What we also have is the fact that we played a gig. So we can go back to Indra after having done it, and enjoy the evening where people know that we’re performing musicians even if they haven’t gotten the chance to see us yet. I mean, we just played a gig, and they were there watching someone else. So that is what we do. Tonight was a success, there just weren’t that many people there. So we’ll take that, and go and show our good side at Indra. I mean, we’re on the guestlist for a reason. 

At Indra the show is over and the crowd is now getting down to dancing and drinking. We sit down at the bar, say hello to Sam, buy some beers and chat to each other and the people around. Sam keeps us going with free shots and it feels really nice to just be here and decompress after the gig. During chatting with Sam, he tells us that the bars he’s involved with that we could play at are either fully booked or won’t be having live music for a while longer yet, so we’re just in Hamburg a little too early for him. But he does say that we would love to hear from us before we come next time so that something could be arranged.

Turning my attention away from the bar, I suddenly find I’m sitting next to the singer of tonight’s band and he starts talking with me. I’m not sure why. Maybe he thinks I’m just pretty or maybe he knows I’m a rockstar on tour in Hamburg having played her own show tonight. I never get to know, because he is just too drunk to make any sense of. Changing seats to the other side of the bar, we’re not in that much more luck. But at least it is amusing. There is this guy that starts talking to us and he totally hits on me so obviously that Mark goes and stands in between us. Then Mark starts to tell him all kinds of embarrassing stories just to make him feel uncomfortable, with which he succeeds. Mark gets all attentive on me, telling me he doesn’t want to leave me alone with that guy so he stays close to me the rest of the night. We even go to the toilet together so no-one will get a chance to hit on me. It feels safe that he does that for me, especially since we’re alone in Hamburg not knowing anyone. And we know that I seem to attract all kinds of guys, and that can be very scary at times. 

Mark:

On the face of it, tonight could be seen as having fallen a bit flat. But really, it signifies a triumph and a real breakthrough. Everything suddenly looks different now. We might not be playing any shows with Sam or his friends, but he couldn’t have been any more positive and he really does think there could be something for us next time round. With that, we feel like we’ve established our Hamburg base, or at least a potential one. With Lenny in Berlin, we have our potential Berlin base. This basically means we now have very real toeholds in the two main entertainment cities of Germany. And with Germany being the leading musical territory of Europe, we may well have created our own set of keys for unlocking the gates to the whole continent. And we came to both cities not knowing a single person. We’ve done this through sheer footwork, determination and personality. And we still have Ireland and London to explore.

The Hamburg Diary, days eight and nine

Day eight

Sunday March 6


Nothing today. Nothing nothing. It’s been a major major week with major major results. We give ourselves today off. Totally. 

It’s a great day for sleeping and watching movies, sometimes at the same time. Everywhere is closed anyway.

Day nine

Monday March 7

Maja:

I am not great today. My health is a little bit frail I would say. I’ve always been very prone to catching colds and when I get sick I get very sick. If my mum got the sniffles from a cold, I would be out with a high fever for two weeks. It would always be like that, so I am a bit afraid of getting sick. I do my best at keeping myself well, and today I feel like if I don’t stay in bed I might feel worse. So in bed I stay. I have a gig today that I want to be able to do. Or at least I think I have a gig. 

Mark:

Maja’s not feeling the best today and Mondays aren’t the best days for hustling anyway, with most managers treating them as their Saturdays or Sundays after their busy weekends. We just pretty much continue where we left off Sunday until around 6 when I decide to take myself off on a mini hustle and to see what’s going on. We’ve not heard from Sven of Cowboy Und Indianer so I also want to go and see if there’s anything happening there. I have his number, but I’m heading out anyway so I might as well swing by. If we’re on, Maja will come out and play. If not, she’ll take that. I’m thinking not, otherwise we would have heard something by now, and yep, that is the case. Oh well. I still have his number and he has mine, so let’s see.

Right next to Cowboy Und Indianer I discover a bar called Lehmitz that hasn’t been open the whole time we’ve been here and they have live music advertised. I go in and am told there’s a guy I should speak to who’ll be here in an hour. Cool.

I now check and see The Irish Rover is closed until Thursday. But I still want to go and have a look at it and check out the area it’s in. Besides, I’m out anyway and really want to carry on with having a walk out somewhere.

The Irish Rover is just inside the very clearly geographically demarcated zone that designates the city centre; a ring road encircles it, and it is also buttressed by parks and waterways. The area I’ve come to see is indeed something of a social oasis within a city centre which is overwhelmingly a commercial entity. There aren’t any other potential venues for us here, but what we have is a wonderful large open plaza type area with restaurants cafes and bars dotted around its perimeter. At the apex of all this heading into the city centre is The Irish Rover. Cool. We will return. Now it’s time to return to Lehmitz, the bar I was in earlier. 

I enter and this time meet the Nick I was told to come back and talk to. Like so many other people, he talks about the three hour concept, to which once more I reply in variations of, ‘not our thing.’ When I tell him we’re on tour he’s impressed and thinks we could possibly do something on Thursday but he’ll need to speak to someone else here called Arthur to check that out and hopefully confirm. Oh well. Sometimes it goes like that. OK. Fine. Still, another possible place. I’ll take that for a Monday walk. 

The Hamburg Diary, days 10 and 11

Day 10

Tuesday March 8

Mark:

The huge Brauerei bar at the near end of the strip has been open for its first weekend. When we went in last week, Simon, the manager, said it could be a goer, but he wanted to see how their first weekend looked. Well, it’s looked good whenever we’ve walked past, so we think now would be a good time for a revisit. Tonight’s also a good night for burgers and beer, so where better to do that?

As we’re finishing up, the place has quietened down and Simon is sitting with a few friends so I go over, say hi and ask where he is. He immediately says, ‘Oh, thanks for dropping back in. You can play tomorrow if you like.’ Wow. Just like that. Isn’t it nice when these things just work?

Job done there, we head right down to the other end of the strip and into Lehmitz where we manage to get hold of Arthur. He seems very impressed when we say we’re playing the Brauerei and says we can play in here on Thursday.  Just drop by tomorrow and we’ll get the times sorted out, he says. Wow. OK. From here we go next door where we’re greeted with hugs by Sven. Pint in here, then as we’re getting ready to leave, he comes over and drops two more pints on our table. Once again, we really could get used to all this.

Day 11

Wednesday March 9

Mark:

Things have been going pretty well and we have a show tonight in the biggest bar in town. So we don’t feel under any pressure to do anything. Instead, we just take it easy to give ourselves the best chance to be fresh for when it matters. Nothing exists in our minds today but playing tonight and making sure that goes as well as it can.

Evening comes up and before leaving to play our gig we have to go and see Arthur to confirm tomorrow and find out exactly when it’s happening. We get to Lehmitz and Arthur’s nowhere around and nowhen knows where he is or when he’ll be here. It’s suggested that we wait for a while but we have somewhere to be. Sven’s in here having a quiet drink and we go and say hi. He’s friendly but clearly exhausted and in no state to really talk or discuss gigging possibilities with his bar. No worries. We say our goodbyes and head off to pick up our gear and get ourselves down to The Brauerei. We walk in and leave our gear by the stage area and then go off to find Sami and let him know we’re here. As soon as we see him walking towards us, his face says that something isn’t quite right. Correct. As soon as he reaches us he says, ‘Guys, I’m really sorry but I spoke to the boss and he said he didn’t want music in here at all.’ What now? Fine. Not really, but fine. He continues to apologise, saying he took it on himself to make the decision because he was convinced it would be OK. He feels terrible, he says. But now we’re here, and let down, he offers us a couple of rounds of drinks on the house. Can’t say no to that. Might as well. Once he’s organised that for us, he comes and hangs out and he’s really cool to talk to and it’s clear he’s all about making music live. I have the thought that maybe next time we’re in town things may be different for him so, as well has having email for this bar, maybe we should have his personal email so we can get in touch with him wherever he happens to be. He’s well up for that so great. Tonight might have been blown out but we feel this is a really positive Hamburg contact to have in the pocket. 

Once we’re done here, we slightly dejectedly take our gear back to the hotel and then go and take a walk down to the far end of the strip, but to an area we haven’t looked at before; it’s looked a bit posh and a theatre land kind of place so we’ve never thought it looked like a place to explore. But as we walk past the theatres, we see a bar with a chalkboard up promoting live music tonight. Standing right outside as a greeter and Covid pass checker is a girl who introduces herself to us as Leah. We ask what’s going on and she says it’s a solo cover act. Oh. OK. We explain what’s just happened to us and ask if we might be able to play in here tonight, maybe when the guy takes a break. She’s really positive about this and says that yes, we should definitely ask. She then tells us that all the staff here have heard all kinds of stories about the management of The Brauerei. OK. So this mean spiritedness we’ve experienced tonight sounds about par for the course. Good to know. 

We settle down in the venue as tonight’s performer, Orla, continues his set. When he finishes for his break, we tell him about our conversation with Leah, and that our show was cancelled tonight and ask if it would be OK for us to play during his break. He doesn’t have a problem with that at all and gladly helps us to set up. Brilliant. So we get all that organised and, as soon as we’re ready, introduce ourselves to the slightly bemused audience as a touring act. We then launch into a two song set of I Like You (Better When You’re Naked) and Rock’n’roll Tree. And with this, we’ve added a date to our tour schedule and introduced ourselves to another audience. A very roundabout way of operating, but we can now tick off job done for tonight. To be fair, this very quick impromptu, totally unexpected show is not without its sound issues, but the response from the audience is emphatic so we’ll take that.

We thank Orla and take our seats again, and then Leah comes up to congratulate us and to tell us of her own regular event in here which is coming up again on Sunday. She’s a songwriter herself, but says that audiences around here prefer cover songs so that’s what she does. Which means that her thing is kind of an open mic, but is really more an acoustic cover show which invites people up to sing, so kind of like a live acoustic karaoke with space for acts like ourselves. Wonderful. Consider us sold. We’ll see you there.

The Hamburg Diary, days 12 and 13

Day 12

Thursday March 10

Mark:

Our hustle target for today is The Irish Rover and Fleet Und Keiker, two venues that were mentioned to us by Sam at Indra. We take a walk out towards the city centre. Approaching The Irish Rover, we see a guy standing outside who we say hi to and quickly establish that he is the manager. He’s interested to hear our story and, as we continue, he becomes more and more animated and interested. By the time we’ve finished, he’s decided he’d love to give us a chance to play over this weekend and says we should maybe drop by later to confirm details. Wow. Brilliant. Thankyou very much. We resume our walk.

We arrive at the Fleet Und Keiker sometime mid to late afternoon. This is normally an ideal time to try to catch a bar in a quiet period and to be able to chat to a bar manager, but we’re discovering that this is a waking up holiday city and the concept of ‘normal ideal times’ means nothing here. The place is packed and the greeter seems seriously harassed. He suggests we return tomorrow sometime mid afternoon. We thank him for his time and leave him to frantically get on with it.

If we can catch someone at the right time, this looks like it really could be a good place for us. It’s an Irish bar welcoming Irish musicians, and is kind of a cellar bar accessed down a bunch of roughly cut, ancient looking stone stairs. And the interior appears similarly anciently appointed. Among the posters, well kept behind glass adorning the walls of the stairs is one celebrating the pubs of Cork, all arranged in a pint glass formation. Oh this is a trip down memory lane. All my old favourites are there, including Fred Zeppelins which is where I used to run an open mic night. I really thought the presence of such a poster, along with my own correlating experiences would have been something of a conversation starter, but no way. Not right now.

Before he disappears into the chaos, our greeter friend is kind enough to refer us to Paddys, an Irish bar very nearby. So we head down there to see if there could be anything going. Oh dear. The place looks lovely, but tiny. Not for us. Back to the Irish Rover it is. Ralph is still there just outside the door. We’re thinking of dropping in for a drink but the quiz, that was on when we passed by earlier, is still going and he tells us there’s not a seat to be had in the place. He also tell us that he was really thinking of putting us on tomorrow but he’s had a look round and discovered he can’t get enough staff to open the downstairs bar that he was hoping to put us in. Still, a very positive contact and this is definitely a place to mark and return to next time.

Back to drinks at the hotel bar, which leads to thoughts about what we’ve done here in Hamburg. We didn’t get exactly what we wanted in terms of stage time, but what we have got what we didn’t realise we actually needed; we’ve made so many contacts for the next time we’re in town. Just like we did in Berlin. Pitched against that criteria, our stay here, which has for much of the time threatened to be quite underwhelming, suddenly looks like an enormous success.

Day 13

Friday March 11

Mark:

We make it Fleet Und Keiker by 4pm but are totally taken aback by how busy it is again. Nowhere near as much as yesterday, but still. We settle in for a drink and, when a small opportunity opens, I go and introduce myself to the owner. Although clearly busy, he is interested to take the time to listen as I talk about us, and has a few questions, such as how long we’re around and the like. Well, we’re leaving Tuesday so we really don’t have much of a window. He says he has nothing at such short notice, but would be interested to hear from us when we return. Wonderful. The theme from last night continues.

Now it’s off for fish and chips in The Irish Rover which is quite simply one of the best fish and chips I’ve ever had. Ralph makes an appearance just as we’re leaving and we have a little hello with him, but we also get to meet quite a few of the bar staff, one or two of whom are from Ireland. Cards get passed around and, in all, we feel we really get to make quite a bit of a presence in here.

When we get back to our hotel, we discover the atmosphere is significantly more upbeat than it has been for our entire time here. An entire German stag party has descended upon us. And a very joyful and welcome diversion it is. A group of around ten guys are in our bar just heading out when we arrive and they hang around for a little longer as we all make our introductions to each other.

Maja:

The adorable stag night guys. Absolutely adorable. They felt so incredibly missplaced in an area of sex and rock n roll, such as the Reeperbahn actually is. As we talk to them, I just feel like we have to give them a little show, welcoming them to the place they actually are at. Keizbude on the Reeperbahn in Hamburg. So Mark gets the guitar, and I stand up on the bar, totally owning the space giving them a private performance of I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). They love it. 

As soon as we finish, they ask if we have any ideas of where they could go for their stag night, which is an odd question. If you just go out to the Reeperbahn, you’ll find so many places to go to. I recommend a transvestite burlesque bar that someone tried to get me and Mark to go to, but we never went. It’s way more fitting for a stag night than it is for two musicians just wanting to play gigs.

The Hamburg Diary, Day 14

Day 14

Saturday March 12

Mark:

A huge walk today as we simply take in the environs of Hamburg without any of the pressure of the hustle. Just a lovely walk with no ulterior motive. Oh that feels nice. And the sun is shining. We stroll down to the docks and walk along them all the way into the heart of the city, along the way stopping for crepes which we lazily consume while sitting at the water’s edge, contemplating the endless shipping and general docklife activity. 

Then up and away we go again, meandering through the crowds in a careless promenade. Reaching the far end of the docks and we come across a bridge and high walkway leading into the city centre. Why not? That takes us into the main shopping districts and back out to the lake before we start to think about maybe dropping in for a quiet drink somewhere. Maybe Paddys, the lovely, small Irish bar we came across a few days ago. We picture ourselves hanging out at the bar, chatting cosily to the regulars and bar staff and generally introducing ourselves to the scene a little more. When we catch sight of the place, we immediately realise none of that is going to happen. International rugby is on, and it’s England v Ireland in the six nations no less. One of the biggest matches in the calendar. So no. There’s going to be no quiet cosiness happening in here today. Oh well.

Back to the hotel for drinks it is, and the lads are there again so another lively hangout with them as we hear about their own assorted adventures on the Reeperbahn last night. We take it easy because we’re planning on something of a late night tonight. We want to go to Indra, arriving after the show there to maybe talk to Sam, tell him about the things we’re doing and see if any kind of tentative groundwork can be laid for a return visit. Apart from anything else, we think it would be good to catch him properly once more before we return home to Ireland.

When we get there, the place is every bit as quiet as we thought it would be and Sam once more welcomes us joyously. We are very warmly welcomed into the company of the bar and introduced to the off duty bar staff who are enjoying an afterwork drink. And some of Sam’s good friends are in and we meet and chat with them as well. It all feels like we’re among something of a secret Hamburg club, far away from the madness of clubland. A place where we can talk social and business, and generally continue our introduction to Germany and Europe. Given the connections Sam and his friends have to venues all over the place with their general live music business interests, this place really does seem like something of a gateway to Hamburg. And with Berlin and Hamburg being pretty much the central areas for music in Germany and Germany being something of a music centre for Europe, right here right now really is one of the best places we can possibly be.

It’s all rather wonderful and the guys are asking all kinds of interesting questions about us and our music. We talk to them a little about our story and they’re enraptured. We tell them of shows we’ve done in Berlin and Hamburg, and about plans we have for playing Ireland and America, and they lap it all up. Then, almost inevitably, they want to hear some music. We have something of a rough studio production of I Like You Better (When You’re Naked) but nothing with really high production values. But by now they’re so invested in the story they want to hear what we have. OK. Let’s have a listen. Sam is very keen to get this on and finally hear what we sound like, so he follows our instructions to the link and the song itself. He hits play and out it comes. Now, this song has elicited some of the strongest reactions I’ve ever seen to any original song in a bar environment. In The Trap in our first ever show, it was demanded as an encore after we’d first played it as our second song of the night. A few people told us it was the best song they’d heard in years, and a friend with some kind of links to the music business offered to buy it off us. Although yeah. I’m still not entirely convinced he was joking. At songwriter events, it has routinely been met by the biggest audience reaction of the night. And in all kinds of settings, we’ve had people come up to us out of nowhere and sing parts of it out to us. In short, it’s fair to say it’s a keeper. But as soon as it comes on here, as a cold, raw studio recording in a huge room, especially when coming on just after the full, classic, studio productions of high octane supergroup classics we’ve been listening to. it does admittedly sound just a little bit flat and quiet. And empty, being just acoustic guitar and vocal and nothing else. But still, all the joyous energy of the performances are still there, and a song is a song right? Wrong. I’ve actually known this as a fact for sometime, and have been advised on it when even thinking of pitching a song to industry professionals; don’t think people can hear the song shine out in its raw form. For most people, unless the full production is there, they have no idea what they’re listening to and this goes right to the top. Right now the production isn’t there, but we still think it sounds wonderful and fun and we dance joyously around the room as we hear it for the first time on enormous speakers, even as we know its sound doesn’t even begin to touch the huge budget productions we’ve been listening to all night. As soon as the song comes to a close and we return to the bar, it’s clear that our new friends only heard the production, or maybe didn’t really hear the song at all, or just didn’t like it. It wasn’t for them. Fair enough and absolutely, no harm and no hard feelings. Surprising and a little disappointing maybe, but in any creative endeavour you have to accept not everyone is going to like what you do, and that goes for every piece of music ever recorded, no matter how successful or universally lauded. What we’re not prepared for is what happens next. We simply cease to exist. The guys form a huddle and start talking – inexplicably still in English – about the most benign things imaginable. Like talking for the sake of talking. Not one person acknowledges our presence as all we can see is backs. I look at Maja and then back at people who, until just a few moments ago, we considered nascent friends. Now, because they didn’t quite connect with our song, we’re dismissed and totally judged as people they simply don’t want to know, or wish to be associated with. ‘This is ridiculous,’ I whisper to Maja. ‘So they didn’t like it, or maybe it didn’t sound great in here. Fair enough. But this?’ No. This is wrong. ‘I think we should just leave,’ I say. ‘Let’s just walk out the door right now and never come back.’ So that’s what we do. Without a glance behind us, without a word of thanks or goodbye, or any other kind of acknowledgement to our hosts, we slip silently out of the door and into the cold, but far more warmly inviting night. What. The. Hell. Was. That?

Maja:

I can’t understand what just happened. Absolutely not. But what I do understand is that no-one will accept a song they hear on speakers without a full production. But still, the behaviour they showed us is beyond unacceptable. I am angry. As we go outside I shake away the anger and let it be replaced with a feeling of ridicule. It’s too ridiculous not to laugh about. And I am utterly confident in our music, and I know that we’ll go all the way, so to ridiculous act like this. Well. At least it makes a fun story.

The Hamburg Diary, days 15 and 16

Day 15

Sunday March 13

Mark:

I wake up with a horrible feeling as thoughts of last night flood in along with the morning sun. I’m still hurt and insulted. And massively disappointed that our friendly ally could have revealed himself as such a superficial fake and turned on us like that. As we progress into the morning and debrief and digest what happened, we start to think that, apart from the fact that maybe we arrived Hamburg a little too early as it emerged from Covid restrictions, it really is essentially a coverbar/nightclubbing town and not worth coming back to for any kind of development. Apart from Tommy, not one person who said we could do something with them has come through. Not even, massively disappointingly, Sven – I might just give him a pass and say his intentions were pure and genuine but maybe there were too many other things going on for us to get full consideration. I mean, the guy gave us hugs and free drinks everytime we walked into his bar. But just like here, in so many other places also we’ve encountered so much huge and encouraging enthusiasm on the surface, giving us so much optimism, and none of it has ever translated into anything tangible. Not one person acted on it. Not one phone call or email. Not even when people promised to call back within an hour or two. And then last night just topped it off as Sam got written off. As the morning progresses we kinda get over it but no, we don’t really want to talk about it with each other. We silently agree to just forgot about those guys and move on. As we do, we agree we ain’t coming back to Hamburg until we’re playing the proper big places. And no. Sam will not be on the guest list.

Maja:

I can’t believe it either. Hurt is an underestimation. I loved the inclusive feeling we used to have at Sam’s, but after getting that kind of response, there’s no going back. After giving our everything to our art, I think we can be entitled enough to give our attention to people who actually believe in us. Sorry Hamburg. I’m starting to feel done with you.

Mark:

As we work into the day and start to feel active, we take the 40 or so minute walk out of the city to pick up the car and bring it back to the carpark near the hotel. It is now ready and waiting for our departure.

Then it’s chill time before we get ready to go out and play the last show of our European adventure. This is Leah’s open mic event at the Alt Liebe, the venue we played last minute on Thursday after our show at The Brauerei was cancelled. We get there and discover it isn’t an open mic as such as it is an acoustic cover show at which members of the audience can get up and do their thing. Which is normally sing a cover song or two with live backing. So, essentially a live acoustic karaoke with open-ness for other elements. Into which we fit. Leah plays pretty much the first half of the evening herself, then the floor opens up a little more in the second part of it all. During all this we get talking to a girl sitting next to us called Lulika who can’t get her head around being able to get up on stage, let alone the concept of doing it, or trying to do it in any professional capacity. In our chat she agrees to film us when our turn comes. When we get around to that, we’ve decided our two songs will be My Game My Rules and Six Sense Lover. Up we go and we tear into both of them.

Maja:

I get up on stage and as soon as I sing the first note I realise. I can’t hear myself at all. My heart drops like a stone but I go for it anyway. It seems like the audience can hear me so that’s something at least. But it just feels terrible. It’s really hard to perform but I can’t even be bothered to care about it. I just go for it. Even if it’s terrible, I gave it a proper shot.

Mark:

The reaction is promising and pretty cool, but it’s clear this crowd does go more for the covers, as they rave and cheer and whoop for that kind of thing when the singers get up. Fine. And they do give us a fair chance so that’s all cool. But there’s something about our performance that, after the event, makes us think we played far too fast and really didn’t do ourselves justice. Last night of the whole tour and we’re a little bit down with ourselves. But we have a recording. When we get back to the hotel, the first thing we do is listen to it. Oh. Oh. Oh. Wow. Really not bad at all.Would we put it up? Maybe, maybe not. But not anywhere near the trainwreck we really feared we’d delivered and certainly not too frenetically fast. Maybe a touch on the faster side, but not too fast. You learn and learn and learn. In the moment stage and live perception can often be so different to reality. But normally it’s the other way round to what we’re experiencing here; you think you’ve done a bang up show, everyone cheered and everyone’s patting you on the back and you think you knocked it out of the park. Then the next day you listen to it and you want to burn the tape. That is, if these things were still on tape. Here, we were convinced we’d delivered a disastrous mess but what we have is not just listenable, we realise it was actually really good. We’re stunned. With that, we really start to decompress, especially as we’ve been slightly tightly wound ever since we got off stage. Although we did all the right things afterwards, said thankyou at the right times and smiled all our smiles as though everything had gone exactly as we’d planned it to, inside we felt just that little bit deflated. Well, now we realise it actually had all gone as planned. And with that, ladies and gentlemen, we have concluded. Tour is done, lessons have been learned, and now with this new recording we can see and feel that our level really has gone up and up and up. We’re going to leave that there for now, get back to Ireland, shake all this off, and then start to put ourselves back together again musically with all we’ve learned and all we’ve developed since hitting the road in Berlin that first night back in the first few days of December at heavy metal bar Brette Bude. Oh damn, we really have not done this the easy way.

Maja:

Is there a easy way? I think we’re doing it the only way it can ever be done.

Day 16

Monday March 14

Mark:

We stay in all day today. A bit of writing in the bar, and also a little movie watching. But overall a total chill. And why not? All our hustling and playing is done. We’ve seen the city plenty and, above everything, we have a big travelling day tomorrow with Maja contemplating an epic drive. And the next day. This is going to take two days as we drive through Germany, Belgium and France, then an overnight ferry to Rosslare, right on the south east corner of Ireland, before driving through the countryside to home.

Maja:

After all that, I really think we need a sleepy day. Sleepy sleepy day. To sleepy sleep sleep.

And yes. I speak like that.

The Hamburg Diary, days 17 and 18

Day 17

Tuesday March 15

Mark:

Three countries today as we leave at midday and slowly pull out of Hamburg, getting a wonderful look at this enormous European port city with much of the road away from it and to the south winding a way up and around it all as we find ourselves in among cranes, ships and sea. And industry. So so much industry.

Then the open road as we drive through the slowly changing landscape crossing from Germany to Belgium, all the way through Belgium then into France, arriving at our motel sometime between 10pm and midnight. It’s a wonderful place. A perfect little double room with a shower that just feels like heaven. Next stop breakfast which we’re delighted to have included in our micro stay.

Maja:

I am glad that I like to drive since there’s a lot of driving to be done. I love watching the beautiful scenery flashing by. And I also think it’s so cool that the scenery keeps changing as you change countries. Germany with it’s deep forests doesn’t quite look the same as Belgium, and there’s an even bigger difference entering France, which offers stunning views of open fields. And with Mark talking about this, that and the other, it’s easy to keep entertained. 

Day 18

Wednesday March 16

Mark:

Up early for breakfast to get on the road in good time for the ferry. Yes, this is going to set us up well and it’s with some anticipation that we make our way to the dining area. We walk into a small, very quiet and clean cafe type environment and they’ve got all the little things you might expect in a few containers on the right as you walk in. Bread rolls, mini baguettes, cake, yep, actual cake, and the butters and jams and things. Then a little fridge containing yoghurt and juice. And tea available of course. And then… and then…we look around to see where the actual breakfast is, accepting far too slowly and reluctantly that this really is it. A few containers of cold bready/cakey things. And yoghurt. We laugh into our disappointment, accept it, fill up on as much of this as we can, and then hit the road again. To be fair, I thought the cake was quite nice.

On the way, I realise with some excitement that we’re in the Normandy region and are going to be driving fairly close to the D-Day beaches. As we progress and I start to see the map a little better, my excitement really rises as I realise we’re going to be driving within just a few miles of Omaha beach. Oh we have to. We just have to. We’ve had thoughts of a nice French restaurant dinner somewhere on the way, but we’re about to smash into those plans with a spectacular history trip to one of the most iconic battlefields of World War II. We find the car park in the shadow of the monument to what happened here. Directly underneath it we leave our shoes and socks and walk the whole way to the edge of the sea and ever so slightly into it. Then we turn and recreate the steps of the men who stormed this beach in 1944, marvelling in terrifying awe at the huge expanse they had to somehow negotiate to have any chance of making it to anything even remotely tentatively resembling safety. It’s actually an uncomfortable walk with the sand being very solidly packed and deeply ridged. If it was anything like that on that day, then the almost impossible task they faced now appears even harder. Back to our shoes and socks and we have a look around the rest of the area, including the museum which we don’t go into – we really don’t have time for that, but there’s plenty of hardware out front and back to take in. Including an actual landing craft and a huge World War I field gun turret. It’s grey and raining and a little cold and time to get going again anyway. But now, out of nowhere, we’ve had a trip to Omaha beach. Next stop, ferry on which, for the first time of all our sea trips, we have a cabin.

Or so we think. We have a short pitstop at a service station where Maja receives an email. The ferry has been cancelled. No idea why. There’s some rigmarole, during which for a while it looks like we might not even be able to travel until sometime next week. But then the company manages to put us on a replacement. Or something like that. Although we now have no cabin. Again. Damn. We just can’t catch a break with these things. OK, so on we go and we need to find somewhere comfortable enough to spend the night. And this is no silent ship like the last one we had on the way to Hamburg from Sweden. No, this one is full of other people who were bumped from the cancelled ferry and plenty of people who had a cabin but now don’t. We find ourselves in mutual consolation with a few of these people in a large dining type room at the front of the ship. With our guitar. After a while, a few people start to ask if we could play a tune or two, but we know they’re looking for songs they know. A bit of a sing song and the like. We decline, saying we only play our own songs. But as the ship leaves port and we all settle into the rhythm of the sea, a few people gently start to ask again. Among them are a group of six or seven guys from Cork, and a father and daughter sitting very close to us on a long couch type thing we’re sharing. When we insist they really won’t know anything that we’ve got, they say that’s fine, so we shrug and we’re like, OK. Might as well. There are a few other people dotted around this area and they look up with some mild interest as we get the guitar out and set ourselves up.

Maja:

As soon as I set foot on the ferry, it’s like the air changes. It’s so obvious to me, like I could touch it. Almost like a taste on my lips. A taste of freedom. A taste of warmth and welcomeness. It’s the people. Everyone around me is so friendly. They speak with laughter in their voices. With kindness. Even though a lot of the people on this ferry are very disappointed that the ferry they were supposed to travel on got cancelled, the feeling of happiness is larger than anything. I think I’d describe it as jolly. And once again I think to myself. I love Ireland.

Mark:

It can sometimes be a songwriter thing to ask if people want a fast of a slow song. When I’ve been in an audience I don’t think I’ve ever asked for a slow one. I’m surprised when that’s the consensus here. Oh. OK. So we settle wonderfully into Insanity. 

Immediately they’re with us and a few raised eyebrows show that a few people are thinking, Oh, we might just have something here. We finish to enthusiastic applause and requests for more, and let’s go fast now. So we do. We’re off now. By our second song they’re just into it and the people dotted around our section have started to move closer. A few of the staff have now stopped what they’re doing and the people in the bar area are now looking over here with some considerable interest. We finish the second and our small original group, especially the guys from Cork are saying, ‘You guys are not stopping anytime soon.’ Wow. Songs they’ve never heard before, and they are really, truly, into it. The boat is really rocking now. No. Really. The sea has picked up underneath us and is picking the ship up with it and as we sway to our own music, we almost lose our balance a few times. As Maja tries her standing on a chair performance, she’s having to have one foot on a table to stop herself from crashing to the floor and, at the first opportunity, abandons all thought of continuing to perform from up there. 

All this is adding to the drama and pure epicness of what’s going on right now and, by the third song we have an actual substantial audience as almost everyone in earshot is gathered loosely around us and all talk in the bar area has totally ceased, all eyes on what’s going on over here. We end up playing for 25 minutes to half an hour, finishing to a great reaction and genuine gratitude for what we’ve just unexpectedly brought onto the ship. We declare ourselves done and are met with, ‘We’ll let you take a short break.’ The guy who says it is only half joking, but people drift away and yes, we are done because, apart from anything else, 25 minutes to half an hour is generally a full show as far as we’re concerned. And this one has been the best show of the whole Hamburg experience and one of the most exhilarating and exciting shows of the whole tour. Still doesn’t quite top the incredible night of Laksmi and a Zum Krokidil performance or two are up there as well. But yes, this is one of the more memorable moments and it’s come out of absolutely nowhere. Thankyou for persuading us guys. It’s a perfect way to finish the tour which might not quite have taken in as much of Europe as we wanted, but which has concluded with us playing while travelling on the open water between France, the UK and Ireland. As a result, although this possibly isn’t totally geographically accurate, we’ve just instantly added three countries to the tour itinerary. So yes. Right at the very last we’ve managed to make it into an actual European tour.

The Third Ireland Diary, days 19 to 161

Day 19
Thursday March 17

Mark:

Oh I am not having fun this morning. The sea is really swelling and picking the ship up and down and I am really feeling it. All I can do is lie down on the kind of sofa bench we manage to make our own once we’re up and the actual bed is all packed away. Maja is up and about being social and attempting to introduce me to people but I’m sorry. I just can’t. If I lie down it’s kinda OK. But if I stand up, everything just seems to fall away beneath me. I don’t even feel like talking to the new friends I made yesterday. A passing nod if I see one of them when I go off on nature calls but that’s about it. Although there is quite a fun moment when one of them sings I Like You Better When You’re Naked at me as I pass him in the breakfast queue. Oh, did I just say breakfast? Sorry. No. Can’t. Oh, and now this. I really can’t believe this. Bizarrely, even just starting to write about the whole thing has caused something to psychosomatically happen and the world has ever so slightly started swimming and swaying again. I have to stop. Nope. Can’t even write about it.

On dry land and back in the car for the final leg of this epic journey, we start talking about what to do next. As we reflect, we start to conclude that the tour has really been a very elaborate dry run and the opportunity to develop ourselves as a live act. A great experience, but we don’t think wider Europe offers much for emerging bands. Where can you go? Scandinavia? No. Eastern Europe? Not really. France, Spain? No – and in particular here, I have intimate personal knowledge of Spain’s grass roots music scene. It does have one and it can be very good. The problem is, it doesn’t have an audience. Maybe Germany. Which really means Berlin, and we do feel we’ve created a toe hold there. After that, possibly Amsterdam, and maybe Prague.

Having done what we’ve done in the past few months, we now feel ready to begin to announce ourselves on the real marketplaces of emerging original music – Ireland and America. But really, more prominently for us, Ireland. Especially as it’s where we have our base so that automatically makes more sense. Of course, we do have America in the diary for late summer so that will take care of itself at the time. Until then, we decide we’re going to play as much as we can in Ireland and really try to get ourselves established there.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but today is March 17, which means we’re arriving back home in Ireland on St Patrick’s Day, and at a perfect time too. And it’s perfect for another quite bizarre and coincidental reason. It was a year ago today that we had the idea to write songs and tour the world and agreed that we would do just that. And here we are, exactly one year later, returning from our first international trip playing songs that have all been written by us since that day.

Maja:

It feels absolutely epic to return to Ireland today. Today is St. Patricks Day, which is well celebrated in Ireland. I’ve never been in Ireland during St. Patricks Day before, so I don’t really know what to expect. As we’re driving through the small villages we manage to catch the St. Particks Day Parade, which apperantly is a thing I am about to discover. The traffic slows down and we observe what looks like an whole village walking on the street, in funny vechicles, in trucks, drinking, being dressed amusingly in green. It’s marvelous. As a little truck drives by with a couple of lads dancing around on the back, I open the window to wave at them. And get squrited with a water gun. Thanks a lot.

I am over the moon that we got to catch the parade somewhere. A couple of hours later we reach home, and oh my gosh. I haven’t been home in too long. The unload the car and put the house in some order before we’re ready. We’re going to the Trap. To tell everyone we’re home!

As we reach the Trap, everyone is already drunk and most are home already. It seems like most drink at their non regular bar at this particular date so we don’t find a lot of people we know. But Angela who runs the bar gives us a big welcome home, and with that, we’ve landed in Ireland.

We’re back!

Friday March 18 to Monday Monday April 4

Let’s just cover this section of the return in one go. Over the week of arriving, a lot of rest happens, and then we slowly start to get the studio back together while also gently putting the house back in order as our mass of road equipment starts to get reassimilated. We’ve already decided that when we hit the road again, we’ll have less stuff than we’ve taken this time. A little more streamlined if you like. But for our first tour we did OK with what we took and not once did we find ourselves wishing we’d brought this or that. And we’ve learned a hell of a lot, not least that we can actually do this. That we can go into bars cold, get gigs, entertain and generate income. We also discovered that our level needed to come up a little more in terms of stage equipment, sound knowledge and in a few areas of actual performance. We bought and used the equipment, in the process gaining more experience of setting sound. And then during the enforced break in Sweden we really worked to up our performance game. Now we’re going to take a little time at home to rehearse in our Irish studio and pull up those few more performance levels we think we need. This will mean going deep and working on tiny percentages such as backing vocal placement. And with some of our increased vocal performance levels, quite a few of the songs now need to have a key change and these keys need to be discovered and practised.

During this practice, a new setlist starts to take shape as we start putting together what will become known as our smash set. This is to be a short 25 to 30 minute set of eight to ten songs, every one of which are just big. Which means no Insanity, Breakthrough, Wide Blue Yonder or even Smile Is Going Round, which has gone from a slightly up tempo pop tune to a gentle, insistent slow burn. With that change it regained its place in our affections and in the set as it was in danger of dropping out altogether. But it also means there’s no place for it right now. This short, intense set is designed to hold us up in the demanding, and frankly slightly hostile atmosphere of coverbar world where we intend to place ourselves. I’ve never seen anyone attempt this. Not on the scale we’re about to, going out there time and time again into such environments. But really, the theory here is that this is about taking ourselves directly to the end audience. To explain that, let’s take a look at this. First of all, and most simply, we think it will give us more gigs, or at least it will give us more venues to be able to take a run at. There aren’t a huge amount of venues for original acts, and even fewer for those making their first steps. Those bands tend to play quite sparsely, placing shows quite far apart to maximise audiences basically because there are only so many times in a given period even their more committed friends and family members will come out to see them. It can also be quite hard to get shows in the early days. You have to persuade a promoter to fit you somewhere on a bill, normally at the bottom of a three or four band evening. Then, if you do well, you can start to climb further up until you’re doing your own headline shows and then progressing with this to play bigger and bigger venues. That’s the hope anyway. I think you can already see that this is quite a time consuming process. The plus side is that on the way you’re playing to open minded audiences that want to get out and see new, emerging acts so they’re generally more eager and forgiving than your average bar crowd. But this audience is not huge. It also means that you’re not coming to the attention of the wider public at all. That doesn’t happen until you really get up in the atmosphere as a headline act playing pretty decent sized venues, hopefully with attendant press coverage, massively hopefully including some kind of TV or radio play. And believe me, looking at it from grassroots, this is a high bar to be aiming at with very few even attaining that level of success. But even then, for a band starting to show signs of breaking through, those early TV and radio slots will tend to be of the niche programming variety. So no. The general population won’t even be vaguely aware of you until you’re at least nibbling at the bottom rung of the fame game. What we’re doing is going straight to that end audience now. That means we have to able to grab them instantly and keep them grabbed.

Maja:

Right from the beginning we engineered the songs to captivate the toughest of audiences that wouldn’t always be open to listening to original music. So no singer songwriter vibe, no calm songs about heartbreak. Only short intense songs without too many instrumental breaks, with a lot of dynamics to keep people’s attention glued to us. And that’s also why we only play for 30 minutes in the kind of bars we’re playing now. People can’t keep their focus for much longer. They start to want to get back to talking to their friends, order a new pint and the music, however captivating, starts to overstay its welcome. That meant we needed to write about ten short intense, catchy songs of around three minutes each, and we needed to build an intensity of performance to keep the audience’s focus. There’s also no time for talk, because the audience doesn’t really want to listen to what you have to say. Get on with the music please. That is, if we even want you to get on with that.

So where we are now is that we need to get in there, present ourselves during setup, do our show swiftly and do the talking after the show, when people know what we’re about. The idea is that the people get to speak to us afterwards, when they are still in shock over how amazing our show just was. That way we don’t need to explain as much and it’s easier just to let them talk. We’ve already shown them that we’re rockstars, and they get the chance to take that in.

Mark:

This period now is about really consolidating ourselves and being able to put all the above into action, mixing in all the experience we gained from Germany. We settle on a set, selecting what we believe are our biggest songs. And as we do, we realise we’ve inadvertently written out the track listing for our first album. Oh. We have our first album. Which will be this set and some of our slower songs such as Insanity,

With that we’re ready to get to work. We put no pressure on ourselves. We’re going to be ready when we’re ready. We’re thinking two to three weeks to focus on rehearsal and then we’ll get back on the hustle trail as we start to take on Ireland. The idea now is to get all these up to standard, and then make one take, one track recordings of each one, to make what we call representation recordings. These will essentially be to show to prospective album producers so that they can get an idea of where we’re coming from, and they will also give us something to show to bars when looking for bookings.

And while we’re settling back into our small country town Irish life, people around here are starting to ask us when we’ll be playing in the local bar again. Almost every other time we’re out someone will ask. Even in the shops. And so many of these people we don’t even know. Yes, it does feel pretty good.

Day 38
Tuesday April 5

Mark:

Warm pitch to start today. From when we played on the ferry to Ireland from France we have a recommendation from a guy called Cockney. This is to a bar called Joseph McHughes in Liscannor, Co. Clare, about two hours drive away. Our plan from there is to drive to the nearby town of Lahinch and see if we can pick up a gig there, then we’re going to go have a look at Galway which I’ve always heard so much about as a live music centre and which everyone has been telling us we simply have to go to.

We find Joseph McHughes, a pub in a tiny area. Practically two pubs in a car park and that’s it for round here. In we go and we find the manager. We introduce ourselves and drop the name we have. ‘Oh yes, Cockney,’ she says. ‘He sent you here did he?’ Indeed he did. Saw us play on the ferry over. ‘Well, if you want to see how you go we could fit you in this Saturday.’ Oh wow. Straight in. Yeah we could do that. We chat times and come up with 9pm. Brilliant. That works.

Now we drive to Lahinch and have a look around for a bar that looks like it could work. We settle on a place called The Corner Post. Again, it’s a pretty quick pitch and the guy says we could do 10:30pm this Saturday which would work perfectly as he has a large party in that night. Fantastic. And just like that we have two gigs booked for Saturday. Now let’s try our luck in Galway.

No. Galway does not happen. It looks fantastic. Colourful and lively looking, so full of promise with, just like we’d been told so often. Bars offering live music on almost every corner, and on all the streets in between. And the lovely Eyre Squre in the centre surrounded by bars. Yes, there’s a lot of hustling to be done here. But we’re not far into it before we realise there could well be two problems with Galway. And the more we try our luck, the more our initial thoughts are confirmed. First, with it being such a tourist hub, and with music being one of its principle attractions, of course everywhere is booked. All. The Time. And with mostly the same people holding residencies in a given bar. Yeah. It soon becomes apparent the whole place is tied up by booking agents, who we’re encouraged to get in touch with. But for what? A two hour show? Chucking in covers and trad songs? That’s not our thing. There’s a strict model here and we just don’t fit into it. Second, we don’t get to speak to a single manager, so no decision makers. And even if there were, we very much get the impression they still would have referred us to their agent. We had such high hopes of Galway and we’ve turned up absolutely nothing. And after picking up two gigs so easily in tiny seaside towns.

On the way home, we conclude that has to be the way to go. Forget the so called famous music epicentres. We should be focusing on the midlands – the area of Ireland we live in – and the outer areas of the cities. As for the villages, hit them all. Even, or especially, the tiny ones. Maybe the managers there want music but don’t get pitched so much. We really think that’s a good idea for what we have, but oh, what a disappointment Galway has been.

Day 39
Wednesday April 6

Huge relief today as a result comes in we’ve been eagerly awaiting and dreading at the same time. Ed Sheeran wins his courtcase which he’s been fighting alongside his songwriting partners Steve Mac and Johnny McDaid.

If this means nothing to you, just let me say first, that this is huge, just huge for us. There have been a lot of concerning plagiarism cases recently, or at least it’s felt as though it’s proliferated recently and in a way, I actually kind of get it. Bear with me. I’ll come to that. But while there may be some genuine grievances in plagiarism cases, so many of the ones flying about around the current time are purely spurious and nothing more than shakedowns. People with no chance of doing anything for themselves trying to legally steal from those who’ve actually gone out and made it. It basically boils down to, I once used words, that songwriter is using words and made them into a big money making hit. Therefore he or she owes me money. I’m not even exaggerating that much. The Ed Sheeran case felt like a bit of a landmark moment. If he won, maybe this could set something of a precedent and signal the end of these kinds of pathetic, money grabbing, empty spurious claims. But if he lost. Oh man. If he lost. We really don’t want to think about it. It could have been the end of songwriting as we know it. As Ed said himself summing up the experience afterwards, 60’000 songs go up on one particular streaming service every day. I had to go back and check that. Yes. Every day. Which makes 22 million a year. And that’s just on one service. And all of these songs use the same 12 notes. If you’re reading all this Diary because you love your music but have no idea about how to go about making it or how it’s made, yes, there are just 12 notes available to us. That’s if you don’t count the notes in between that we generally don’t have but which are used in some eastern forms of music and I’m not counting them. Those 12 notes. A, Bb, B, C, C#, D, Eb, E, F, F#, G and G#. Yep. Taking away the eastern stuff which can sound a bit strange to us, going back centuries, or even millenia, every song, music score, piece of classical music and every single song on every single Beatles album, uses just these 12 notes and nothing more. Because there is nothing more. Again, as Ed said, coincidences are bound to happen. And yes, there is some imitation, homage and reference. But downright copying? Not as often as you might think. I mean, consider it. Really consider it. I write a song about my wonderful, magic football which I love very much. Try, if you can, to imagine the wonderfully unique melody that only I could possibly have come up with. ‘Maybe you’re gonna be the one that plays me/ Don’t call Saul/ You’re my wonderball.’ Now seriously, do you really think I’d be calling my friends to come round and hear my amazing new song and think they wouldn’t pick up on it? No. Outright copying, for the very most part, just does not happen. Songwriters are creators who want to create. Not copy something else and pretend it’s theirs. Alright, there are some bad actors out there, but for the most part, the people doing the bad acting are the ones accusing others of doing it and then trying to nick all their money.

Now we come to this. If Ed had lost, there’s no two ways about it. It would have been open season on songwriters and as close as dammit to finishing up our chances before we even got out of the gatefold. Anyone who ever had a hit ever, from this day on, would have had it stolen from them the second it got the tills ringing. Basically, the industry into which myself and Maja have set sail and are attempting to steam dead ahead into would have been all but destroyed. I don’t think it would have stopped us doing what we’re doing but I think we would have been living in state of denial that it was even a thing anymore to actually have a go at making something in there without having it stolen from you the second it actually became something. Believe me. The long long wait of a week or so from the conclusion of ‘evidence’ in this case to the actual judgement coming down was agonising.

I did say that I did get it didn’t I? Well this is that bit. We’ve said before that it’s never been easy to make it in music at any level and in any discipline. But to try to get anywhere now as an original act, I don’t think it’s ever been harder. So for those trying but never getting anywhere and not seeing how they can get anywhere. What can they do to shorten their odds of at least getting something out of this game? Try to take it from those who have it. Yeah, record companies have been doing that to artists forever, but now artists are doing it to each other. And so often, it’s done in the hope that the person being pursued just decides it’s not worth the hassle of defending and just settles out of court so that they can get on with their current album writing/recording, touring, or whatever else it is they’d rather be doing. In a lot of these cases it’s really nothing less than a good old fashioned shakedown, and I can’t help but think a lot of the ‘artists’ are put up to it by the music industry’s own take on ambulance chasing lawyers. No win, no fee. Hello. I’m calling about some chords you recently used. Is that right. Did you recently use chords? Er, yes. Great. I’ve just heard that someone else did. For no money up front, and just a split of the robbery, er, rights, I’ll get them to admit they used the same chords as you and give us the royalties. Great. Thanks. One further question. When you did these chords, did you also use words? Er, yeah. Wonderful. Open and shut case. We file tomorrow, and by the day after that, every songwriter in the world will wish they never bothered writing any songs in the first place. Because, well, if anyone with a pen and a musical instrument can ‘prove’ they didn’t actually write them without copying and can now take all their money, what’s the point anymore?

And that, my friends, is what Ed Sheeran, Steve Mac and Johnny McDaid have just saved us all from.

Day 40
Thursday April 7

We have so much in place. All we spoke about, all we had to do. We’ve moved countries – from England to Ireland. We’ve set up our house, with the studio. We’ve toured and learned what equipment was needed and bought it and learned how to use it. We’ve written our songs and got our performances in shape. So our rehearsal is essentially done. And that in itself has been a huge process. We’ve built the website with all the content. We have a brand. Attached to that we have new cards, beermats and posters on the way. We have The Diaries themselves, which I’m writing in as I write. So much of getting all this done has included tons of admin, and so much of the other extraneous activities involved in building a new life, while working on extrications from the previous one, and getting the house and travelling bits all in order. We’ve done all that too. The album is on the way now and we’re on that in the studio. The Diaries are taking care of themselves right now although yes, publication of them at some point is on the cards and that will add another layer to the to do list what that comes about. But right now, our activity has boiled down to a very simple equation as we seek to start to build our presence in Ireland – our local(ish) area then beyond. Book a gig, play the gig, talk to the people before and after.

And we’ve concluded, after what we’ve discovered on the ground, that we should concentrate on our own midlands area and the surrounding areas of Dublin, especially the towns just outside it. Afterall, half an hours drive from Clara and you’re practically in Dublin.

Mark:

Now we feel ready to begin recording our debut album, it’s time to make a phone call we’ve been wanting to make for some time. It’s time to call a producer. I’ve had a guy in mind and we pretty much know what we want from him. His name is Steve, he lives in Madrid, and he was one of a two man production team who I worked with when putting together the Drunken Monkees album. Following that I was in a blues band with him for the better part of two years – the two years preceding The Costa Blanca Diaries which kicked off Mark’s Diaries and the whole Diary thing. It was while working with him that I began the total reinvention of myself as a bass player and, I suppose as a musician.

Maja is really getting hold of the production side of things and I have a fair idea of the process too, so we’re not looking so much for a hands on producer. We can do the heavy lifting and big brush strokes ourselves in terms of getting raw tracks down and getting them to sound somewhat serviceable. Really what we need is someone who can advise us about being more effective as we put this thing together, and then put the finishing touches to it all when everything is done. We put the call in and have a great chat as we talk for the first time in years and he and Maja meet – on the phone – for the first time. During this call we get it all sorted out. We will record two or three tracks as well as we can – probably two – send them to him and he will tell us what we could look at to get them to another level. We’ll then make any improvements needed before taking that knowledge and applying it to the rest of the recording process, getting his views, opinions and guidance along the way. Then, when the whole thing is done, he’ll cast his eye over the full job and polish it all off until we have the finished product. That’s the working theory, he’s well on board and we’re all totally clear with what we have to do.

Now, before we begin the actual recording proper, we’re taking a trick from the Metallica playbook. What they’ve often done before the actual sessions is to record covers to test and get used to any new equipment and maybe personnel. That way they don’t waste time or creative energy going through this with material they plan to actually use. For our version, we’ve decided to record Oasis’ Supersonic. Not for any kind of release, but just to get used to all the toys and tools so that we can hit the ground running when the real production begins. Tomorrow we have our first gigs since returning to Ireland, so the first gigs of what is essentially our Ireland tour, then the next day we’ll begin work on recording our album, starting with pre production.

Day 42
Saturday April 9

Two gigs today. Two. About ten minutes drive apart on the western coast at the top of country Clare. It’s a drive of two and a half to three hours and in the vicinity, we have the famed cliffs of Moher – Liscannor, where we’re playing our first show at Joseph McHugh’s, is the closest village to the cliffs, just four kilometres away. One of the joys of touring and wide range gigging is the opportunity if offers for sightseeing and this area is apparently one of the most spectacular in Ireland, which is of itself renowned for its overall spectacular landscapes, most of all the coast regions of enormous number. So yeah. I’m quite excited about the prospect of finally getting to the cliffs of Moher. I never made it there when I lived here before.

The cliff chain runs for about 14 kilometres and raise to a maximum height of 700 feet – a little over 200 metres, with even the lower regions coming in at well over 100 metres. From these vantage points you can see the Aran Islands and a whole bunch of mountains over in Galway. As such, you might not be surprised to learn that they’re Ireland’s top attraction, pulling in around one and a half million visits per year.

We have this wonderful romantic vision of driving up to the edge of the cliffs and being able to contemplate the far below pounding Atlantic while running through a few warmup songs. You know, the kind of thing you might see bands do in videos which look quite amazing, but have no bearing in reality. But yeah. We are going to go do that reality.

Or so we think.

When we arrive in the general area, we discover the whole thing has been somewhat commercialised and that simply driving up to the cliffs and looking after yourself isn’t a thing. Instead you have to park in the visitor carpark which has a charge, and then there’s the whole ‘Cliffs of Moher experience.’ It looks like it’s a whole daytrip thing rather than just come and briefly hang out thing. That’s not part of any of our plans at all. So we decide to forget about this part of it all and just go park near the venue and have a little play there. We’re still on the coast, so we’re still able to find a lovely seaside spot to park up, get the guitar out and have our planned little warmup play in the car, with the front seats reclined all the way back to give ourselves a little more room. We spend a little time leisurely working through a few songs, then rest a little bit more, then we’re ready to drive the last few metres to the venue before heading in to set up.

It’s to a slightly bemused clientele that we roll in and begin to prepare ourselves. But we have been afforded a really good space to play in. A whole wall area directly opposite the bar. Up to the bar and over to the left, unseen around the corner, a small group of men is gathered. Once we have set up somewhat organised, I take myself round there and introduce us with cards, and they seem quite warmly welcoming and intrigued as to what we’re going to do. While I’m doing this, Maja takes the right hand side of the bar and introduces us over there and we then both make our way across the bar area itself before meeting in the middle. Right back to the very first days in Berlin, then onto Hamburg, we realised that it was a good idea to let people know this will be a short show, and one of originals only, and generally give people some kind of idea of what we’re about. That done, we return to our stage area to continue preparation. As we’re starting to put our equipment together, an old man comes up to me and asks if we’re going to play trad. ‘If you don’t you’ll have me to answer to,’ he says in some form of mock aggression. But he isn’t changing his stance too much and it looks like he really is expecting some kind of response and acquiescence. As we’re enjoying our mini standoff and I’m trying to explain to him that we’re only going to be doing our own stuff, no trad, a lady enters the picture, comes between us and talks gently to him, explaining what’s going on. For a start, the man also seems a bit perturbed and a little angry that we’re getting the chance to play in here when he wasn’t able to get himself booked. The lady quickly introduces herself to me as Helen, then returns her attention to him. ‘These guys have got something different going on altogether,’ she begins. ‘They’re not being paid by the bar. They’re actually very brave people just rocking up to places, doing their own thing and then passing the hat.’ He still doesn’t seem to understand and still wants to remonstrate with me but she guides him out of the back door, turning to me and saying, ‘Don’t worry. I’ll sort him out.’ Great. When she returns, san slightly confused old man, Maja’s arrived on the scene and I introduce them to each other. Helen then addresses both of us emphatically, saying, ‘I think what you guys are doing is brilliant, and just so brave. Just to have got off your backsides, created something and then started to bring it round to people who have no idea what you’re about to do, and sink and swim on your own devices, I think that’s just amazing.’ Thankyou very much. ‘You know what?’ she continues, ‘I have to go. I can’t stick around, but I’m going to put a fiver in your hat just for the pure stones you guys have to go around and do this. All fair play and respect to you. With that, she produces the promised fiver and drops it in the hat, then she hugs us both, wishing us all kinds of good luck both for tonight and beyond, and heads out the front door.

As we approach showtime, a large group of girls on a birthday night out around the towns and villages comes in. This is a thing in rural Ireland – groups of people renting a minivan for an evening and going round a whole bunch of different places. We often see such vans in Clara. A few of them, including the birthday girl, come and say hi and are very very interested in what we’re about to do. They say they’ll be up front and are really up for it. Great. Out of nowhere we have our main audience. When we start, they are exactly where they said they would be. Four or five of them starting to get into the swing of it and dancing. But the group as a whole kind of holds back and the girls dancing seem to get slowly discouraged and they fall back as well, meaning we’re playing to a mostly disinterested looking bar; the guys around the corner have stayed firmly around the corner. However, through this veil of indifference a few people really stand out for their levels of interest. A few guys sitting facing the bar have turned round and are looking at us in something resembling confused shock. Like, what the hell is this. More and more, this starts to spread about the place and now and then, one of the guys round the corner comes and has a look for a while. We’re a long way from totally winning the bar over, but people do at least seem to be listening and a few people seem to be really deep into what we’re doing but quite unsure of how to react. My take on this is that most, if not all, of the people in here have never seen a grassroots original band. Sure, they’ve probably been to a Stones or U2 concert, or seen other bands on varying rungs of the fame ladder. But right down and dirty brand new unknown acts playing their own music and songs that mostly no-one’s ever heard before? No. Don’t think so. I would say that the entirety of bar concerts anyone in here has ever seen has been coverbands. Which means they really have no idea of what to make of us. If there was to be an emphatic response, I also think that’s been a bit dampened by the more dominant personalities in the room. Maybe one or two of those guys round there are being a bit cool for school, or non comitant, so the others feel they can’t really show too much enthusiasm. Ditto for the group of girls, which seems to have totally lost interest. But none of this phases me or Maja the tiniest bit as we continue to perform as though we own the place and it’s our very own little Wembley. That’s just how you have to do it. Back down, show the slightest amount of fear, lack of confidence or hesitation and it’s all over. Keep pushing forwards and at the very least, you’ll find a way through. And so it is here, as those who are into it really seem to be picked up and transported by the way we’re totally giving them a real show, regardless of what the general feeling in the room might be. Our thoughts on all this are a little borne out by the round of pass the hat which I take on once we finish. The guys are polite enough but mostly decline, and one of them even says, ‘I’d pay to you stop.’ I don’t miss a beat or take offence. Instead, I just smile the smile and say, ‘Well, look, we stopped for free so you’re all good.’ The girls? Well, as one, they just don’t want to know at all and I don’t push it. Afterall, you can’t and shouldn’t. The hat’s there. All you can do is make people aware of it and they’re free to react in any way they want to. But out of these cold hard pockets, a few people almost seem at a rush to get to me and drop something in, and one or two even call me back when I inadvertently miss them out and start to walk off. Like we thought during the show, something has connected somewhere. OK. One down. We pack up and leave with no-one seeming to notice we’re doing so. Fair enough. Onto the next place.

We find quite a lively atmosphere at The Corner Post in Lahinch. This is a two room bar. The front is quite traditional and loung-ey, then off to the side of that through a small doorway is a much larger room, currently operating as something of a dining room for three long tables around the two walls right and left, and one at the top of the room. When we enter, Michael, the manager, says we can set up wherever we want in the lounge area. Every table is taken, and there’s just one space available which is right inside this room at the bottom of the two steps up to the dining area. However, it’s full of tables right now and Michael suggests we wait until the big group has gone and then we can put the tables in there and begin at the rough start time of 10pm. That big group is a hen night, so all girls out on the town. This request to wait until they’re leaving so we can use their space for the tables that are in our way doesn’t strike me as odd until we’re packed up and leaving at the end of the night. He’s just said we should wait until that group is gone before we start because their presence is preventing us from setting up. However, it’s because that group is here that he’s booked us in here tonight. In all the busy-ness of the evening, this little fact seems to have been forgotten. And anyway, when 10:40 rolls round and they’re still there, we decide we can’t wait any longer and move the tables into there anyway, positioning them just about appropriately with the help of the bar staff letting us know where they can and can’t go. OK. We can set up and get started now. We do this with one speaker to the right of me stage right, taking care of this room, and the other speaker to the left of Maja pointing in towards the girls. Just as we’re set up and ready to go, they all start singing Zombie by The Cranberries. Hearing this, I join on to accompany them on guitar and they react in full-on joy. With this simple call and response, they are with us. Just a few more minutes of last minute preparations and we’re all good. We’re in and the girls are up on their feet and loving it. But we’ve started far too late and they now are indeed about to leave. They manage to stick around for the second song as they wait for stragglers to be ready, but then they really are out the door. As they file past us, I’m chugging on an E chord as we enter the break of Run. We hold off on the vocals and talk to the girls as they walk past, thanking them and encouraging them to take cards. They take it all in fun and plenty of communication and thanks and warm words come back from them. But then they’re gone and we’re left playing to a tiny bar of a few patrons scattered round tables with two or three actually sat at the bar. But, just like at McHugh’s, we once again find ourselves looking into faces staring back at us in some kind of disbelief and uncertainty of how to act to what’s going on. And the applause is wonderfully warm when it comes. The bar staff are also totally into it, and when we finish, almost everyone is happy to put money in the hat that I take round. But that everyone really does not add up to very many people. But still, we’ve made something of an impression in here tonight, although I’m a little disappointed to hear that Michael wasn’t able to stick around and had to head off to meet someone. Oh well. Like the last place, we leave without organising a return date, but that’s absolutely fine. They’ll call or they won’t. In the meantime we’ve got a whole country to have a run at as we just continue to push relentlessly forwards.

Day 43
Sunday April 10

We do have plans for that relentlessness today in the form of more hustling, but after arriving home near 3am last night after two gigs and the drive, we take far more time to feel up and at it than we expected. Instead, we watch movies, and later on, get to gentle work with pre pre production as we call up Supersonic and start to learn and rehearse it.

Day 44
Monday April 11

We ordered a few things from Thomann and they arrive today. As ever, a Thomann delivery can feel a bit like Christmas, especially when you don’t remember everything you’ve ordered and that’s just what it’s like today. By the time we’ve finished and have allocated new and already existing bits and pieces to road set up and studio gear, we have two complete sets of equipment meaning we can just keep our live stuff packed and ready to go. No more need to pull down the studio, take it out, then put it back together again. All we need to do now is unhook the studio monitors to take out as live speakers, and off we go. Among all this we now have an extra speaker stand meaning we can now set up two speakers either side of us on stage for a much more professional look rather that what we have been doing which is one speaker on a stand, another on a table. And more, we also have the capability to fit all this on the trollies we have, so while we will be using the car for the foreseeable, we can still walk around with all this stuff if we have to like we did in Berlin and Hamburg.

To get all this done, we dive into a busy day going through everything we already had and everything new and splitting it all into sections, while also making sure each piece of equipment is marked to denote where it belongs, which serves the automatically dual purpose as marking it as ours for when those tricky moments can arise, such as a DJ, another band on a bill, or simply a musically well supplied venue thinking you might just innocently and accidentally be taking something of theirs. I had a very awkward situation in a previous band. We were packing our gear up when the duty manager of the bar insisted the speaker we were loading onto our trolly was theirs. This really strained polite relations for an uncomfortable ten minutes or so until someone finally remembered that one of their DJs had taken theirs home with him the previous night to fix it.

Back to today and by the time we’ve finished with our delivery we now have enough for two fully functioning studios in the house and a live setup. With this we begin setting up a whole new studio in the upstairs spare bedroom. This is where we decide most of our recording will be done. The larger downstairs studio will now be used for preproduction, and especially as a place where I can work on practicing and maybe even recording bass parts at times when Maja is in the studio upstairs.

Day 45
Tuesday April 12

Mark:

After a little studio time, as afternoon comes, we start to get ready for what will be our first real hustle day. I say this because we’re not totally counting the Clare/Galway hustle for two reasons. First, the Liscannor/Lahinch trip was based on actual leads and being able to drop a name, so at the very least they were warm rather than completely cold calls. And second, because Galway wasn’t so much a hustle, more an exercise in collecting emails and phone numbers and not being able to pitch to anyone.

And I say ‘we get ready’ because we fully pack the car as if going for a gig because, should the circumstances arise, we want to be ready to play a venue there and then. Either a manager could be like, you can play tonight/now if you want, or we could actually offer it if we think the window is there. This packing of the car includes overnight provisions including an overnight bag, our blow up double mattress, and sleeping bags. Because, well, you just never know.

Our first hustle target is our nearest decent sized town of Tullamore, the biggest town in our county of Offaly.

The plan is to first ask if a bar actually does music of any kind because if it doesn’t, it’s not likely to be viable and there’s no point wasting anyone’s time. But even then, nothing is set in stone. As we make our way round the town, quite a few places don’t, and we say thankyou for your time and goodbye.

One of the places we have highest hopes for is The Goalpost where Pat plays, so at the very least we already know they have regular live music. We pop our heads in and immediately see it’s too busy for anyone to have any time to talk to us. Oh dear. It’s approaching 6pm and we may have left it too late for today. OK. Carry on.

So straight to Fergies, the main live venue of Tullamore. There, we meet Fergie himself. The bar is empty and we’re thinking, ‘Here we go.’ But he seems totally uninterested and not massively communicative and is really just like, ‘I’ll have a look and get back to you if I think it’s something I could go for.’ Fair enough I guess and maybe he’s inundated with bands, or has enough going on already, and that’s just his way of dealing with new people coming in. But we were expecting a little more, even if just a touch of engagement and interest in what we were doing. Especially when we’re able to say we don’t charge and are going for the hat approach. Maybe that’s the part he doesn’t like and it might not be for everyone. Who knows?

Just outside the door of this bar we see a poster advertising a lineup of original acts coming soon in a venue called John Lees. Which is just round the corner. Oh yes. This was already on our list but we hadn’t yet checked to see where it was. A band called Double Bill who we saw at the trap last week told us about this place. Thanks for the tip lads. We’re here now. In we go.

Oh well. The main man, John, isn’t in. It’s suggested we try again after eight.

Another few bars with no managers in sight. This is starting to get slightly frustrating.

We decide it could be time to see if The Goalpost has calmed down. It has. A little. The barman points the manager, Darren, out to us who is out in the bar, and we go and introduce ourselves. He Politely listens to our pitch and, when we’ve finished, says, ‘You can’t argue with that.’ It’s a wonderfully casual and encouraging acceptance. He asks us to leave details and says he could possibly put us on the weekend after next. Thankyou very much. We’ll say no more and see how that pans out.

Onto the next town, which we’ve selected as Moate. This journey takes us all the way back to Clara, and through the other side.

As we arrive and take in the small town, which is comparable in size to our own Clara, we see that there are three possible bars. Peadars, Egans and The Gap House. While Clara is a town centred around a few streets and something of an identifiable shape, Moate is one of those towns you see so often in Ireland which consists of one single, long street on something of a main road with constant fast traffic passing through it, all using it simply as a place to go through to get somewhere else.

Peadars’ outside advertising makes it very clear this is a bar for live music, so we feel quite good as we go in. Once more we discover no manager is in, but the bargirl Anita is open to us and seems really interested in what we have to say and says she will let the manager know. Great

Egans is a small looking place, but when we go in it’s surprisingly big. No manager again, but the girl who introduces herself as Rachel thinks the manager could well be interested. Again, OK.

Now we go for The Gap House, a really quite large looking place right at the end of the town with the main road shooting off either side of it. We enter and find ourselves in the front bar which is quite sparse of furniture on its pristine wooden floors. There are two guys sitting at the bar and one behind it. We go and ask the barman if they ever have music and he politely says that no they don’t. No worries at all. Thankyou for your time, we will bid you good day. Maja walks out and I follow. But then I quickly turn around and decide to introduce ourselves to the patrons and barman anyway and give them cards, just because. These are accepted with some degree of well graced bemused amusement with a touch of genuine curiosity. I then ask the barman’s name and he gives it as Dennis. Lovely. Thankyou and goodbye. We leave again. Maja is out first again. ‘Do you charge at all?’ Dennis calls out to our backs. I turn round. ‘No we don’t. We only play half hour shows then we pass a hat around and see what happens. ‘Oh,’ he says. ‘In that case you could probably come back and do something one night when I might know I could have a few in.’ Oh wow. A possible gig out of absolutely nowhere. And we were on our way when the window opened. ‘That would be wonderful,’ says Maja. ‘Great,’ says Dennis. Leave it with me and I’ll give you a call sometime.

As we walk out into the street and the door swings shut behind us we collapse in fits of hysterical laughter. I have never, never experienced anything like that in a bar hustle before.

As we return to the car, we notice a poster for a craft beer festival in this town sometime in July and it will include live music. Cool. Another contact to add to the list. I cross over the road and jot down the details. We will be in touch.

Now we’re off to the one bar village of horseleap. One bar. Does that qualify it as a village? No idea. Anyway, that’s where we’re going now. We arrive and see it’s not just one bar, it’s also one shop, with both places housed in the same building and run by the same person. Literally. Behind the bar we meet Brida who is happy to hear our pitch for what we have to offer. As we’re talking to here, there’s a tinkle and we realise someone’s walked in the other door outside and has entered the shop. Brida excuses herself and disappears off to the side of the bar. Oh, she is now behind the counter of the shop. It’s the same counter. This side looks like a bar and that side looks like a shop counter. But it’s the same piece of construction. Only in a place like this. She comes back and we chat for a little while and she says that yes they do have music occasionally, and yes, there could be room for us, but she has no idea when that could be just yet. OK. Positive. Maybe something to think of for the future. We thank her for her time and leave it there. Yeah, we could do something in here if we catch it at the right time.

We need to go shopping which means we need to go back to Tullamore. Which just happens to coincide with the little after 8pm time when we were told the main man would be in John Lees. As we enter the town we notice a large bar on the edge of it that we’ve driven past many times. Large enough to have its own car park. Why the hell not? We stop and walk in. It really is quite big and split into two more or less equally sized bars with the front door giving you the option to go left or right into either one of them, and they’re joined again at the back by a little walkway, creating a kind of circle. A social circle, if you will.

It’s quiet and the bar girl we speak to says that yes, the bosses are in and that she can introduce us to them. She leads us into the opposite bar to the one we’re in now and points out two people sitting on the public side of it, right at the far end. Thankyou. We go down and introduce ourselves to them. They are Gordon and Maria, and they listen attentively as we give them our pitch. They look at each other, have a silent conference, and then Gordon says, ‘Why not? When would you be thinking of?’ We have a think and the four of us settle on this Friday. So that’s it. Just like that, Gig booked.

Back out in the carpark and we’re giddy with the excitement of a result in a bar we really weren’t considering and not one person has mentioned to us as a possibility.

Now we have John Lees, which is on the way as we head to the supermarket. We’re met by the barman who happily takes us out back to meet the man himself, and oh, this is a much bigger place than we expected. We’re to discover it’s three venues in one. The front bar, the really quite large covered beer garden area, and yet another small venue complete with stage in a room leading directly from that. John shows us it all as we talk about who we are and he tells us about the kinds of events the place has. They include a Ukraine benefit concert coming up next Friday – the 22nd. He says he’s happy to chat to the guy organising that to see if he could find a spot for us. Probably a 15 minute show for us. If that bill is full, John says he’d be prepared to organise another day we could play to see how we go and take it from there. Like our man Darren at The Goalpost said, can’t argue with that.

We know there’s been a lot there to take in, so to recap, out of today’s hustle, this is what we’re looking at.

15th April – this Friday: The Lantern
Friday 22nd April: possibly John Lees
Saturday or Sunday 23/24th April: possibly The Goalpost

There are also call-back possibilities to venues showing at least some kind of interest.

Peadars, Egans, and The Gap House of Moate.

Paddy Ryans of Horseleap, although we’ll probably just leave that one and see.

And a festival event to get on to.

Day 46
Wednesday April 13

We have another delivery today. This time our stationary, which means we have new cards, a whole more ton of beermats, and posters. And stickers, and now even one of those ink stamp things for The Diaries. Very cool. We decide this is a perfect opportunity to go visit a few venues we’ve chatted with to maybe give them a bit of a nudge. First stop is The Lantern in Tullamore, which we’re playing on Friday. So they have our first posters now.

Walking through the town on our way to The Goalpost we bump into our musician friend Pat. He’s with a couple of friends and introduces us to them as rockstars. ‘These guys are badass,’ he adds. Absolutely fair enough and taken. He was one of the first people to tell us that we were wasting our time trying to play originals with no covers at all. Now he’s all, ‘Go for it guys,’ and introducing us as rockstars. Feels like a turnaround of acceptance.

Now into The Goalpost, again, ostensibly to drop off beermats, and posters just so they have them to hand should we be booked. Seeing what we’ve brought, Darren says, a little gleefully and with a touch of, what the hell do we have here, ‘You guys really aren’t messing around are you?’ Nope. We most definitely are not. With that, Maja declares to him, ‘We are going to be famous. We just are.’ Darren looks on with a smile and a wry shake of the head that says, ‘That might just be true.’

When we arrive for the drop at John Lees, John is there and immediately greets us, saying, ‘Have you seen my email?’ We explain we’ve been out for a while, and that no, we haven’t. ‘No problem,’ he says. ‘I’ve spoken to the organiser and you guys are on the bill for that show next Friday.’ Not only that, but it emerges that our 15 minute slot is at 11:30, the last performance of the night with the whole thing beginning at eight. Our very first bone fide headline show. ‘So we’ve got you booking in for that and we’ll see how it goes,’ he says. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Tullamore done and it’s back out to Moate to to do the same drop of posters and have a cheeky chase-up there.

The first place we pop into is Peadars, where Anita is once more behind the bar. Shesays the manager isn’t there today either, but that’s fine as we tell her we’re just here to drop off these bits and pieces that just arrived today. The bar was empty last time we were here, but there are four people in here today enjoying a quiet drink and they all throw us a hello as we walk in. This makes it slightly easier for us to do what we sometimes do on the hustle which is to say hi to customers and give them a card.

We carry the guitar around everywhere now when we’re out and about like this. First, when we’re out and taking all our gear, because, well, you never know, the guitar doesn’t fit into the boot. So for security reasons we don’t want to leave it lying around all obvious in the car. But secondly, we bring it along anyway for its conversation starter potential and again because, well, you never know.

This turns into one of those ‘You never know’ situations. As we’re thanking Anita and making our way out the door, one of the four people says, ‘Are you really leaving without getting that guitar out giving us a song?’ You see what I mean? Well, what can you say to that? I guess we can. The other three customers instantly become more animated, with one of them even calling out, ‘I hope you’ve brought a hat.’ Oh yes, we have. Yep. We carry that everywhere with us too. Because, well, you never know.

There is a little table area that musicians usually use in the corner opposite the bar, but we’re not going to use it. Instead, it just becomes somewhere to store the guitar case. We have two people sitting at the right of us at this end of the bar, a guy at the other end and, opposite, the man who first suggested we should play, seated at a table near the door. Me and Maja have a quick conference wondering what to play and go for Rock’n’Roll Tree. As we begin, I gently nudge Maja forwards, whispering at the same time for her to do so. And so she does. So Maja is now pretty much on her own standing right in the middle of the bar with me a little behind. This reason for this is to put her closer to the people so that she can be heard better above the guitar because, well, she doesn’t sing massively loud and this is a big song and there’s only so much I can reduce its volume. The guys and lady in here immediately go for the song, reacting to each dynamic change with increasing delight. A minute or so in and a few phones are out filming us, one of them being held by Anita behind the bar who is looking on joyously. By the time we come to the climactic end, at least two of of our small audience are off their seats dancing, and the cheers and applause make it sound like we’ve just played a far bigger room. We react to them with thrilled laughter and profuse thanks and I make to put the guitar away. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ I hear someone call out. You’re not putting that away now. At least one more.’ Yes. More, come calls from all around the bar. ‘I can’t,’ says Maja almost silently to me. ‘My voice won’t do another one like that. Not without an amp.’ Well, what about a low key one? OK. We’re not convinced a quiet song is the best way to proceed, but it’s all we’re going to be able to manage so after a bit of a conference we settle on Smile Is Going Round. This song began life as something of an upbeat mid tempo-er but after it was dropped from the set, I suggested we give it a go as a more sultry number. Before we were halfway through that experiment, we knew we had accidentally unearthed a new keeper. That was a magical rehearsal moment. Now we pull this version out for the first ever time. The effect truly is magical as me and Maja take turns to switch sides in the bar, walking around the place and around each other. As we do, the regulars come and join us, taking turns to dance with each one of us, with one particular moment seeing Maja swaying with one of the guys while I dance with the lady as she has an arm draped round my shoulder.

The Diaries has seen quite a few moments that a Hollywood script editor would have thrown out, and this surely has to be added to them. Two people walk into a bar with a guitar. Get cajoled into playing, then the whole bar gets up and dances with them to songs they’ve never heard before. Oh come on, says script editor. But here we are and that exact thing is happening. We finish to rapturous applause with each person almost rushing to shake our hands or give us a hug. And we get all their names. Pauline and Eamon this end of the bar, or at least they were when we started. John down the other end, and that was Frank who got it all started, and he very vocally claims the credit now and rightly so.

During the wonderful aftermath I’m mentally debating whether or not to bring the hat out. Afterall, we have only played two songs. While I’m still going through this in my mine, Maja picks it up and goes with it. Oh. OK. It’s happening then. There is one mild, slightly jokey protestation that this isn’t quite the Irish way of doing things, but Maja doesn’t back down. And the protest is half hearted at most, and possibly not even really meant at all as every single person drops money into the hat. I think it was possibly more of a surprise, and then they maybe thought, well, why not. Within this, Maja asserts herself saying, ‘This is what we do.’ And I add my bit that the record companies take most of the money and streaming barely pays anything to start with. But this does pay apparently. And we get to keep it all.

Hat done and questions start about who we are and where we came from, and we delight in tag teaming each other as we fill them in on our story and their collective heart melts a little more with each extra detail. Then Anita drops in with, ‘I’ll be sure to tell the boss about this. Hopefully he’ll have you in for a show.’ Hopefully.

Soon after that we say our goodbyes and head out across the road to the car, laughing and shaking our heads in total euphoric disbelief as Maja says, ‘We might just be the first people ever to drop into a pub for 20 minutes and leave with more money than we went in with.’

Now onto The Gap House. A little disappointingly Dennis isn’t there so we speak with bargirl Sarah instead and ask if we can leave a poster and beer mats with her. She’s a little confused, but is like, er, OK.

Next it’s back into Egans where we find the one barman standing in the middle of the bar chatting to the few people who are in – one guy at the bar and two people at each of the two tables opposite the bar. He says he’s not the manager but he’s happy to talk. Talk music? Well, we have regular people and that’s it really. What if we’re not charging but want to do our own thing for half an hour and pass a hat round? Oh. OK. When would you like to do that? Whenever really. Next Thursday, he offers. Just come in whenever, he suggests breezily. And just like that, job done.

Back home and we decide to go to the trap for one or a few. Once in there and comfortably seated at the bar, we say hi to a few lads and they give a big enthusiastic hi to Maja as it’s the first time they’ve seen her since that first show in here. While we’re chatting, one of them, called Steve, tells us about a bar called Gussies 5km down the road in the village of Ballycumber that has an open mic style thing on Sundays from 6-8. He says he’ll be there with his friends, and now, so will we.

Later on, the bosses, Jimmy and Angela drop by for a drink. I leave Maja with the people we’re chatting to and show them the new beer mats and ask if we can leave a few. No problem. And they them and want to know where we got them printed. Maja’s been on that so I say I’ll go and get her for them. So go back to the table and Maja disappears to chat to Jimmy and Angela for a while. It really goes on a while as I see them in deep conversation. When she comes back, she says, we got it organised. We’re playing here Wednesday May 11. Wow.

So this is where we are and what we have now.

Home recording studio
Home rehearsal/pre production studio
Car packed with overnight needs
Fully portable road gear
A producer to guide us
A website
Pre production underway on our debut album with actual production imminent.
New beer mats, new cards and posters, with a bunch of all three out in a load of bars
An income. An actual income. Not enormous amounts, but we have now proved that can actually generate real hard currency money playing live with our own songs

A few new gigs in the diary from today:

The Lantern, Tullamore, this coming Friday.
Egans, Moate, Thursday 21st April
John Lee’s, Tullamore. Confirmed for our first headline show Friday 22nd April
Gussies, Ballycumber: a new open mic thing, whatever it turns out to be for this Sunday
The Trap booked for Wednesday 22nd May
And money that we didn’t have when we left, from the hat from a mini show we got asked to play on the spot. Which means a show played out of nowhere today can be added to the list above.

Oh, one thing before we leave this entry. While we were in The Trap, my phone rang. At first I thought it was the manager from Peadars calling to book us. But no. It was the guy from Egans, apologising massively, saying he’d jumped the gun, had spoken to his boss since we left, and the boss had nixed the show, saying their’s was purely a trad bar. Paul can’t apologise enough, but I tell him it’s all cool, and add that I really appreciate him letting us know. So, while you’re here, you can go up to that list and just cross that gig off.

Day 47
Thursday April 14

With a live performance yesterday and four more assured – with a fifth that quickly went by the wayside – we take a day off hustling to concentrate on Diary writing, which has been massively neglected lately, and to get some real mileage in the studio. But a maker’s gonna make, a ballers gonna ball and a hustler’s gonna hustle. Late on we decide to go for a decent sized shop at one of those edge of town supermarkets that Tullamore has. One of them, bizarrely, has a pub at its edge. It’s not so much a pub with a carpark, as a carpark that just happens to have a pub. Apart from being massively curious as to what this kind of pub could be like, we also look at each other and are like, why not? It’s a bar, we’re here, they can only say no. It also has a sign at the door that says it has music. OK. In we go and the barman calls the manager over who seems to be off duty and having a drink with friends. But she still comes and is happy to hear what we have to say. Her name is Jenny, she is absolutely lovely with us and personally very interested in our story and what we’re doing. But she says the customers wouldn’t be. This, she explains, is one of those bars where people come for a quiet drink and know that’s what they’re getting when they choose a bar like this. They wouldn’t thank anyone who rocked up and, well, rocked. I totally get this. As much as I love my live music and have often sought out original bands, if I wanted to chat to a friend or friends, and just chat, we would steer ourselves away from potentially louder places and choose that one over there that never had any live music. If someone then came in and proceeded to do the music thing live, I know we wouldn’t be impressed, even if we were impressed. So Jenny is purely reflecting her business and all good. But I really feel we make a big impression on her and Maja doesn’t hesitate to give her a few cards. We leave with all her good wishes, and feeling like we’ve once more left with something on the table. If you’re trying to spread by word of mouth, and where we are, we feel that’s the most powerful tool you can have, we’ve once more put that word out. Jenny, just thankyou for listening. Sometimes that in itself can be good enough.

Day 48
Friday April 15

When we were being told to please please not attempt to play original songs to coverband audiences, they’ll throw things at you, please don’t do it, lads, I’m telling ya, you’ve got to throw a couple of covers in or they’ll eat you alive, I think The Lantern in Tullamore would have been pretty high on anyone’s mind. Right on the edge of town, it’s a pub for 50-something year old hard men who want to play pool and watch sport. And maybe once in a while get in touch with their more sensitive side by waving their hands in the air to Sweet Caroline while making sure not to touch anyone else’s hand. It is not a place you go into and try to sing your own songs. It just isn’t. Which, of course, is exactly what we’re going there to do tonight. ‘Don’t do it lads,’ I can almost hear as we walk in the door. To be fair, our initial experience is to be greeted with nods of friendliness and a few murmurs of at least appreciation as we park up right next to the door and start loading the gear in. We enter the cavernous room on the right hand side of the bar and yep, there’s live soccer on the telly. The most popular thing in here is the pool table, and there are a few guys hanging round still wearing their hi-vis tops. Over in the other bar are two large tables hard at playing poker. I’m only assuming it’s poker. At the very least, it’s a card game requiring serious, silent and slightly menacing levels of concentration. Yep. We wrote some songs that we’re going to play in here tonight.

From all this, Gordon looks up and welcomes us with a generous smile. Like quite a few people before him, he’s given us this gig without even having heard us. I don’t know what must be going through his mind, but he’s bright and positive and interested to hear how we’ve been getting on and seems genuinely please when we tell him we have our first headline gig, also in Tullamore, for next week.

We feel the curiosity levels rise all over the place as we set up in the corner showing nothing but quiet assuredness and confidence. You really can’t overestimate how much this can be as important as any performance. Show fear or nerves in the centre of all this and you can be done before the first song starts. Show total confidence and people might just sit up and think, ‘Oh, OK. Let’s see what we have here.’ Seeing what they have here is exactly what the guys and ladies in this place do. They give us at least that, and show amusement and some decent level of interest as we do our pre show thing of handing out cards and letting people know what we’re about to do in here.

You really don’t want to show your hand too much at an originals gig, but that’s tricky when you have to soundcheck in front of everyone, which is what we do now, with the jukebox still on – Gordon did offer to turn it off but we said it was fine. This is a very important element of the night. We don’t want to go on too long and start annoying people and lose them before the first song, but we also have to get it right. To that end, for the first time, we begin by just soundchecking with the monitor that is only facing us. Get the mix right in there, then turn on the speakers. Here, I ask Gordon to let me know if things get too loud, and I play guitar at the highest levels of volume I can manage while Maja gently turns up the dial. I stop it at a pretty decent place and glance over to Gordon at the pool table, and he winks an approval. Great. Get some vocals in there and make sure they’re high enough in the mix. We’re done. See you in a few.

Gig time and everyone is holding their positions. Backs to us at the bar. Coldly concentrating on the next pool shot. We just launch straight in. A four count and I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). This has them going straight away and ears perk up and people at least half turn towards us. The pool guys are nudging each other just ever so slightly to maybe pay a little attention. And there we are, smashing and rocking it out and acting as though the bar’s full of a crowd that came out tonight to see nothing but us and wanting a show. Maja’s hair is flying all over the place and she’s roaring at the ceiling. Next to her, I’m pounding away on the guitar like I’m trying to break up a road. In perfect time and rhythm of course. When we finish, it’s to cheers, shouts and a very insistent applause. We say nothing. Right into the next one. Rock’n’Roll Tree. And on and on it goes. Run really gets people going tonight, more than it ever has, Beanie Love really has them smiling and some actually bouncing with us. In between all this, Gordon walks past us and drops what is actually a performance fee into the hat. We’ve actually just been paid. For the first time. Not a bar manager kindly dropping a personal fiver in. An actual decent standard rate for a regular bar band. After this, Fire. Oh, Fire. Pardon the pun, but this is a gentle slow burn that asks an audience to just trust you and hop on for the ride and see where it goes. By the time we get to it, they’re ready and prepared to at least see which direction this thing is headed in. It’s a quiet opener and I take my cue from Victor Wooten, and his lesson that sometimes it isn’t volume that gets people to listen, but lack of it. I dial back as far as I can on the gentle arpeggiation of the earlier stages of this song and the bar falls into the sudden quietness we’ve brought upon the place. We have them. We really have them. This song builds. And falls back, and then builds again to climax in a burning adrenaline rush. When the final rush hits and then pitches into silence, the bar erupts. Oh wow. If ever there was a crowd that epitomised the kind of crowd we thought we could come and play to where few others would even attempt, this is the one. And, right from the beginning, back in London, we had the confidence that we could win such a room over. Before we even had a single song written. And here we are. We’re even point blank refusing requests to play this or that song, or to have this or that person come up and sing with us. We’re here to do our thing and that’s he end of it. We smile and we’re polite. But firm and clear. We play originals. No covers, no singalongs. The message is received and respected as what could have become demands just shrink back and cease.

After the gently epic intermission of Fire, it’s onto Six Sense Lover, brand new song How You Rock’n’Roll, then the frenetic, almost metal sounds of My Game My Rules, which we attack like we never have before, with Maja spitting the words out with a new fury of viscious, daring threat. And the finale, we just howl it into the air and up at the full moon that we know is out there looking down on us tonight. As we finish and collapse in a pool of sweat and heavy breathing like a distance runner coming off the last tortured strait, the bar picks up where we left off, filling the room with sound and at least some cry of ‘Encore.’ The call isn’t insistent enough though, so we decline to continue. But hey, encore definitely got called and we’ll take that.

We feel we’ve passed quite a few of the sternest tests tonight. Now for the final one. The hat. Which has already seen some action with a few people stepping forwards and making a drop. I make special care to go to them first and express my appreciation. Now I head off round the rest of the place and each group I approach opens up, lets me in, then closes around me as everybody puts in. Everybody. Some even cajole friends to get their wallets open. There’s a mood of triumph in here and handshakes are all around with people also keen to chat briefly and ask how we’ve been getting on generally and when we’ll be back next.

When I get back to Maja, she’s busy chatting to a few guys who’ve come over and hands me one of our beer mats. It contains a handwritten message and her autograph, and now I’m requested to add mine. We’re told, ‘You guys are going to be something, and this will be going behind the bar for everyone to see that you were here.’ Oh wow. We even have a private party request and we negotiate a provisional fee that any professional band would be happy to accept. Whether or not they follow through is irrelevant and we suspect they won’t. But they were impressed and interested enough to ask and we’re delighted with that.

Now, those beer mats. We’ve just had them redone and we deliberately made the open space on them clearer to make it possible to autograph. A massively presumptuous move, but really, it felt anything but. And here we are, on our first full gig since receiving them, and we are indeed being asked for our autographs.

Once we’re all packed up, it takes a while for us to be able to leave. It’s all hand shakes and hugs and, for Maja, huge hugs. A few even tell me how refreshing it is to hear someone doing their own thing, that all they usually hear are the same songs by different people. Didn’t see that one coming. And then we’re home. We’ve only played a half hour show so it’s still nowhere near last orders. We unload the car into the downstairs studio and before we know it, we’re back out the door again and down to The Trap where we grab our massively appreciated post gig beer and just sit there in a daze as we try to take in what we’ve just done.

Maja:I just want to write a little of my experiences

Day 49
Saturday April 16

Mark:

We wake up still a little overwhelmed about last night. The biggest thing we feel is vindication. Everything we thought we could do when we started has just been done. We always knew we could. But actually doing it. Actually going through the experience and coming out the other side like that is a whole different thing. A relief? A triumph? No. The word really is vindication. But really, you know, you know and you know. But until you really do, all you truly have is belief in yourself. Hard, cold, unshakeable belief maybe, but at the end of the day, it’s still only belief. Now it’s actual, total knowledge.

We’ve walked into a cold solid coverband bar with our own music and were met with, well you saw it just like we did. Cheers, encore shouts, autographs and payment. But as much confidence as we’ve always had, getting autograph requests in such a venue this early in the game was never a part of even our most optimistic vision.

Now we feel, for the very first time, that we have a few shows coming up with no weight on them. Open mic tomorrow, whatever that really is, then headlining with four songs in original venue next week. And it’s Easter weekend now so the bars will be busy so we can’t even get out and hustle.

Day 50
Sunday April 17

Into Ballycumber and Gussies for tonight’s open mic. What will this be all about? For a start, we see that Gussies is one of three bars on a short stretch of road. So surely it’s not going to be full of guys and girls rocking up with their guitars like what we saw in Berlin. We’ve arrived a little early and are enthusiastically greeted by the already slightly busy bar. All stools at the bar itself are taken, so we order cups of tea and take a table by the window.

While we’re there we work on what will become something of a mission statement for our website and ‘donate’ button. We hammer it out for a while until it looks like this:

This is what we do

We believe society wants and needs new music that comes from the heart

However, most hits are now written by using algorithms

We don’t have a record deal yet, but then, most record companies keep most of the money anyway and then find ways to take the rest

Streaming pays next to nothing

Bars generally don’t pay original acts, but we understand and have no problem with that

Which is exactly why we have the hat

Please think of the Donate button as the online equivalent of the hat and help keep us on the road

Just before 7pm, Emmet, the man of the night comes in, sees our guitar and comes and says hi. We ask about what’s going on and it very quickly becomes clear that this isn’t quite an open mic in the way we might imagine such a thing. Instead, it’s more an open trad session where you have the performers, or in this case, the performer, and people are welcome to sit in at the table with them, or now and then, people might be free to do their own thing, maybe as in the case of an open mic, so I can see the overlap. I’ve always known trad sessions operated kind of like this. It’s just that we weren’t totally sure what we were walking into was essentially a trad session, just a one man affair. And a very popular one; as soon as 7pm nears round the doors barely stop opening as more and more people come until there’s hardly any room left in the place. He starts and it is indeed all Irish ballads and rebel songs. Fair enough. But we don’t really fit into this. But Emmet’s game and a few songs in he invites us to do our thing. Just like we did in Peadars in Moate last week, we don’t accept the invitation to take the performers’ spot. Instead we do the whole perform out on the floor thing, with me and Maja again moving around the place, around each other and at times just moving as one. We play two songs and we do get a pretty decent response, but we also feel that people aren’t totally sure how to take us and our in your face approach. But, much like Clare a few weeks ago, it’s clear that within the slightly bewildered uncertainty, some people are massively into it, especially a small group of guys over in the corner at the end of the bar. We finish and take a seat and order a couple of cokes and settle back to hear what else Emmet has got in his locker. We feel we’ve given a good account of ourselves and have at least been appreciated if not quite fully embraced. Maybe we were just too up, loud and brash. If so, fine. That won’t make us back down at all. But maybe we’ve judged a bit too quickly about how we were judged. About ten to fifteen minutes later and we’re starting to be asked why we’ve put the guitar away. Surely we’re going to do more. As encore shouts go, it’s the most benign I’ve ever heard. We smile politely and say thanks for the encouragement, but encouragement turns to insistence. Come on. You’re not done. Get up and do some more. I’m almost apologetic as I catch Emmet’s eye and say, ‘Are you OK with us getting up again?’ No problem, he says. But we’ve decided to play more to what the room might want this time and give them something slower, laid back, but maybe just a little intense. We go for Insanity, a song we love but which isn’t in our big smash set. Everyone’s talking as we stand in the middle of the bar and start, totally unamplified. Maja doesn’t even begin to attempt to sing over the noise. Instead, she starts so quietly even I can’t hear her. But a line or two in and the bar starts to quieten down, until all that can be heard is Maja’s gentle delicate voice and my softly arpeggiated guitar. A few people even start to talk a little again but are quickly asked not to by their friends. By the time we finish, it’s fair to say talking has resumed a little, but everyone is still with us and we get the warmest of applauses.

Trad audiences, it seems, are lovely to us and give us a fair crack, but something about us might not connect with them quite so much. And that’s fair enough. Which is why that guy booked us the other day in Moate before it was suggested to him that he might want to reconsider. Now, this isn’t going to make us run scared from trad bars and we’ll happily play any time the opportunity presents itself but tonight’s experience has shown us that if we see a trad bar, maybe we shouldn’t try to book our own show there. We can all still be friends, but it’s possible we should just respect each others’ space even as our spheres occasionally collide. They totally have their thing going on and when they go to it, they expect to see, well, their thing. And maybe, just maybe, a touch of us as well.

However, we have made one little mistake that we will learn from. We gave out beermats and cards before we played. Sometimes this is the right thing to do, but in an open situation like this where keeping the audience informed is not our responsibility, possibly not. What it means now that we have no reason to go round the bar and up to people again. Oh well.

Maja: My recording experiences

Day 51
Monday April 18

It’s two O’Clock in the morning and we’ve only just begun the talking.

I’ve had an idea for a few days a new concept for the website and have been developing wording to go with it. I introduced it to Maja last night during the trad session and, there and then, before Emmet arrived, wrote the first draft on our shared web folder. She gets up at 2am and starts fiddling on the computer to make this new thing work. Then, after a few hours sleep, at 5am we’re both at it as the wording gets refined and she returns to the website to also refine the aesthetics.

What this is all about is putting some wording on our ‘Donate’ button. I feel quite strongly about the word donate. It suggests giving to a charity, or giving because you feel generous, or just, really, the problem is with that word too. Giving. Afterall, when you go to a shop and pick up some milk, the money you give to the cashier is not a donation. When you go to a concert, you don’t donate in return for a ticket. And when we used to go and buy albums and CDs, even the record companies paid their bands royalties. These were not donations. So we’re putting our work out for free consumption if that’s how anyone wants it – this very Diary you’re reading now. Our live shows. Our album, which we’re working on right now. All there to just be taken and no problem. But this is what we do. And to sustain it, to make it realistic, money has to come from somewhere. OK, from a record company/ record deal or the joke income, er, stream, of streaming. But there, money is coming from a public that has decided to pay for a product. Record companies pay a fraction of a fraction, and are trying, and succeeding in many cases, to take more and more from more and more of their acts’ activities. And the streaming services don’t even pretend to bother to pay. Not really. So what is a new act to do if they’re trying to be viable on their own two feet as we are? Make it for ourselves. At least that is if we’re saying we don’t want to play the industry’s game, at least not the way they’ve got it set up. Until maybe someone comes along that we actually want to work with but we are doing our best to learn the very painful lessons of so many predecessors who put it all out there for so many other people to get so rich from. People who knew about absolutely nothing about music but knew how to squeeze money, even if it meant choking the people they were squeezing from.

So yeah. The ‘donate’ button is there, and I don’t like the word, but to be fair, there really isn’t a satisfactory alternative. Support? But if someone goes to see a band and pays the demanded entry, they might be supporting them, but that payment to enter isn’t a voluntary donation because the fan cares so much about the band’s individual members’ welfare, even if they do care a little. It’s being paid because if it isn’t, the doors remain closed. So yeah. I want to kind of supercede the word, and I think it’s time our button had a bit more weight. And no, we don’t want to introduce a pay wall. I’ve thought long and hard about how to do this and, as far as we are now, this is it.

This is what we do

We believe society wants and needs new music that comes from the heart

However, most hits are now written by using algorithms

We don’t have a record deal yet, but then, most record companies keep most of the money anyway and then find ways to take the rest

Streaming pays next to nothing

Bars generally don’t pay original acts, but we understand and have no problem with that

Which is exactly why we have the hat

Please think of the Donate button as the online equivalent of the hat and help keep us on the road

Oh, and that algorithm thing. Something we’ve only recently learned about and it suddenly makes so much make sense because so much of today’s music, at least what’s topping the charts and getting all the radio play, all sounds the same. Why? Because it’s literally designed that way for maximum effect. You want to write a number one song? Have a computer analyse the current number one and write something that hits all the same buttons but doesn’t quite sound the same, but really, does. Refresh and repeat.

As well as being on it at 2am, then 5am, we’re also up again early after a little more sleep to really get onto fully organising the house which just needs those few more touches we haven’t got to since arriving back from Hamburg. The feeling here is that we are actually beginning the recording of the album today and to be fully committed to that, we want to know the space behind us is clear and free of any nagging details. We don’t want to be recording or mixing a track, while knowing a ton of housework is sitting behind us. Of course, housework is never really done, but we want to at least feel on top of it. By around 7:30pm, we feel that we really are. The place looks and feels amazing. House in order and pre production track done and lessons learned. We are really, truly ready to go.

Eight O’Clock on the button and the first actual session of album recording begins. We finish this first session two hours later with a first full rough drum track and doubled guitar track for our first song.

Day 52
Tuesday April 19

Mark:

Although we’re now in the album recording process, our thoughts are still very much on hustling and playing live. Among this, we’re also starting to think about getting ourselves more onto the original scenes around the country. This will be a totally different kind of hustle. Getting onto an original scene is more about knowing the people. Networking, really. Maybe playing open mics in the main cities and actually getting to know the promoters and other acts you could do gigs with. But for now it emails as we start to try to get ourselves onto some festivals. I’m not massively sure what can come of this as again, I believe it’s going to be who you know and what your reputation is, but emailing certainly can’t hurt. So I’m downstairs researching and sending emails on that while Maja is upstairs working on and learning more and more about music production. And in between my other bits and pieces down here, I also have the job of getting into our downstairs studio from time to time and working on pre production so that I’m ready for Maja when she needs me. Part of my pre production is determining the BPMs for the songs so that she can possibly at least lay a raw drum track for me to play to when my recording time comes, and with that, I’m also practicing recording for real down here, learning to play some of the songs to recording level, so that by the time I get upstairs, I’m as ready as I can possibly be and hopefully don’t need too many takes; unlike vocals or bass, acoustic guitar generally has to be done in one take, so a full perfect performance with very little chance for drop-ins. This can only happen if a song has a natural stop/s and you’ve at least recorded up to a stop. And all this has to be done with energy and feeling. And as we’re double tracking the guitars, I have to do it twice. So by the time you get in there, you truly do need to know what’s going on.

Studio and pitching it is today and then around 7pm we start to get ready to go hustle in Athlone, the largest town in our immediate area.

What we’ve neglected to do before setting off however, is to check if there’s are any big sport on tonight. There is. Liverpool v Manchester United, one of the biggest Premierleague fixtures of the season. Which means all the bars are far too busy for a manager to have any time to talk to us.

But we’re here so we still decide to take the opportunity to have a look around and see the inside of some of these bars for the first time. One of them is Sean’s Bar, officially recognised by The Guinness Book of Records as the oldest bar in Ireland. Of course the Guinness book had to say it was an Irish bar. But at around 1000 years old and in the most central major settlement in the country, it probably is. It’s actually known what the oldest bar in the whole world is, but I’d say this place has a pretty good claim. As such it’s about as traditional as you can get. There’s no football in here for a start and we see there’s music every night. But when Sean, the manager, happily comes out to see us, he explains they only have trad music in here. Given our experience of Sunday night, we know what that means and thank him for his time. But he has a little more to give and very generously namechecks a few bars for us that we might like to try, including The Brazen Monkey which we’ve already been in. This is a new bar, he says, so could be a good opportunity for us. Indeed, the guy we spoke to in there said as much but the manager wasn’t around. Which is the case just about everywhere else. Around 10pm and we decide to head home. But then, just at the last corner before our carpark, we see that the bar Flannerys is far quieter than it was when we first arrived and poked our heads in to see that it was packed and the soccer was blaring. Why not? Let’s pop in again and say hello. It’s right there. You never know.

Maja: I’m going to write about our performance

Past the first bar, might as well try. Davey, Lee, Paddy. Sasha behind bar. Phil. Tells us about Jimmy Stewart in Mayors, Ballycumber, and Chrissy in Dark Horse.

For possibly the fifth time in a row, dinner doesn’t happen for us until sometime after 11pm. There’s just so much going on right now and so much to do. And we’re loving it.

Day 53
Wednesday April 20

After a day in the studio we think about returning to Athlone and trying again, but having learned our lesson, we check the schedules first. Yep. Another big match on. OK. Let’s carry on where we are.

Day 54
Thursday April 21

With Maja away in Sweden for ten days from Monday and with a gig tomorrow – our first headline – we decide to forget about the hustle, just keep on hunkering down and keep at it. So again, studio and catchup on Diary writing.

Day 55
Friday April 22

As soon as we arrive at tonight’s gig at John Lee’s in Tullamore, we’re greeted at the entry with, ‘Oh, you’re The Diaries. I saw you guys last week.’ Oh hello. Yep. He was randomly at Gussies in Ballycumber when we played that mildly luke warmly received performance at the trad night. We’re to discover it was slightly warmer than that, the first clue being when he follows his introduction up with, ‘We’ve got you on last tonight because it’s pretty hard to follow what you do.’ He then gives us a bunch of drinks tokens, we have a brief chat, and then me and Maja walk into the venue looking at each other in gleeful disbelief. And what a great looking venue it is. It’s essentially a covered outdoor show. Long, very attractive beer garden with a cool booth style seating system. You won’t get wet, but it’s open to the wind and general outdoor temperature but with powerful gas heaters, the kind that shoot up that single column of fire. So it’s warm enough. Then a really great stage set up with a log panelled backdrop decorated with multicoloured flags and a poster for the event.

While we are in essence headlining what is a benefit concert for local Ukrainian refugees, some of whom are in attendance, we’re the only musical act on tonight. Everything else is comedians and poetry readings. And a magician/comedian act.

We’ve decided to come decently early to catch as much as the whole show as we can. This is to generally see what’s going on and support our fellow performers which does facilitate the hoped for hang later, but apart from that, we really do simply want to enjoy an evening of entertainment that we also happen to be part of.

We are in and out a little bit, but we catch three main sets. Ross, David and Alex.

During this, about 20 minutes to half an hour before our 11pm start time, I have a massive surprise when I recognise a few guys from the Ballycumber performance. And they recognise me too and we have a lovely hello in the back of the bar far away from the stage. My pleasant surprise at seeing some friendly faces turns to absolute shock when they say they’ve come here tonight specially to see us. After we arrived, Dave called and let them know it was us, the act from the other night, and that was it. They were on their way. Do you have any idea how hard it can be sometimes to get friends to come out and see your shows? And here are a group of lads we’ve never met, who’ve gone, ‘Hey, The Diaries are playing tonight. We should go.’ Now I learn that they were only very much passing through Ballycumber that night and decided on the spot to drop into one of the three bars in the village for just the one – and it was just the one – and we just happened to play our first set of two songs while they were there. They weren’t around when we were cajoled into playing a third, but it didn’t matter. By then they were sold. And here they are.

By the time showtime comes around, the atmosphere in here has been completely warmed up by a wonderful set of stand-up routines and at times irreverently observational poetry readings. There’s possibly even a sense of anticipation in the air as we finish setting up and prepare to launch into what will be a well paced five song set. For the tougher cover bar crowds, we play what we call our smash set. For tonight, 15 to 20 minutes, we’re going to start off with two big ones – I Like You (Better When You’re Naked) followed by Rock’n’Roll Tree before taking things right down with Fire and Insanity, then bringing it right back up again with Six Sense Lover. Fire is in our smash set as a slight gamble as it starts delicately before slow burning into something else, but Insanity really is a gentle lovely flower of a song, although it’s cutting in its observations of those who would dissuade you from following your own path. ‘What they want what they need/ They’ll give anything just to see you bleed/ Just the once then they’ll say their right… and so on.

From the very opening frantic one-two-three-four count as we kick ourselves off, this whole place is with us. And the guys who came out to see us are right at the front and wonderfully rocking away. Sitting down, but still very much rocking away. As great as the stage setup is, it is a little strange as it faces directly to that one booth opposite with the rest of the venue at stage left. So, to play to the whole place, me and Maja have to set ourselves up kind of in a line. Both of us facing diagonally but sideways with me having a perfect view of her back the entire time. But this also means that for the first time I’m able to see her full performance, and man does she perform tonight. I see the crouches and the near jumps and the expressive arms and the reflexive thrashes to the pulses of the songs, and her hair whipping right, left and up and down, spurred on by the gusting wind that comes through us every now and again as if to remind us that we are actually almost outside. And that wind is cold and we’ve made our own individual decisions to remove our bigger tops and play as though we were all warm and toasty inside, although those warm and toasty places very quickly turn hot and sweaty for us. But tonight, it’s wonderful to have that wind and I greatly welcome its chilly bellows.

As you probably know, we always go for it, but there’s something a bit more special in tonight’s air as we feel it blow through us in those welcoming cold blasts as we continue to ignite. It could be that maybe for the first time ever we feel we don’t have to force the issue and instead have a crowd that is really on side and with us right from the beginning. We don’t even have to worry in the slightest when we bring the tempo right down as they continue to hang on to every note. We feel this first with Fire, as real fires flame upwards all around this inside/outside room. Then into Insanity, then right back out the other side as we announce our last song, then finish it the roar that’s been accompanying us all evening. No encore shout, but that’s OK.

Out on the floor and it seems everyone wants to talk to us as we immediately have so many people come and say hello. Before we know it, we’re the centre piece of a group photo with more and more people joining. Out in front the official photographer for the event does her best to fit them all in. Then we hear thanks, thoughts, and even a little analysis as we’re described in the most complimentary terms as punk. We’ve heard that before, but here it goes a little further from Dave, one of the organisers who also performed earlier. He says that it’s not so much that we’re punk music. More, he says that punk was always meant as an attitude. Of being individual, of just going for it, of just totally doing your own thing. ‘I really see that in you guys,’ he says. And there’s more. Much much more. As me and Maja go our separate ways to better work the room, we meet the guys who specially came to see us. Reera (I’m certain I spelt that wrong), Cras, who filmed the video of Rock’n’Roll Tree and Padraig. I believe there were a few more too. Among all this I get a massively enthusiastic review of ourselves saying that we are totally on our way and headed for serious places. ‘I’m not the guy to do that,’ my companion says, ‘But you will meet that person. And soon. I’m telling you.’ Man, it is so nice when the faith is coming from someone other than yourselves.

As we hang around and go deeper into the vibrant evening, there are other chats, and people saying they might be able to hook us up with this or that venue or this or that promoter, and the Daves say we are very much in their minds now for future shows. And we also hear the word on a load of open mics and other contacts in Dublin from a chat I have with Ross who makes it clear he doesn’t claim influence, but says that he will pass us on some details that we really should chase up. And true to his word, he does. Cras sends us the amazingly shot video, Ken says he’ll mention us in his blog, and by Sunday, without any notice, we’re just up on the Instagram site of the Tullamore Arts Society. There’s been so much here tonight that has seems to have suddenly elevated us into a place where things just feel that little bit more real.

And one of those videos from Crass
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIjQ81X8dzs

OK. We’re building on our German experience now. We’ve worked on our level and are finding out that our thing really does have the capacity to hit. It did in Germany a few times as well to be fair. Maybe there will always be gigs that don’t quite work, but even in some of our shows that haven’t made it so big, we still felt there were one or two people who were really into it. And then we have something like tonight, with people following us here, and paying to see us after catching us somewhere else. That’s a whole new thing. And taking tonight after pulling off The Lantern, a venue we were told even seasoned cover musicians saw as a tough crowd. Yeah, I think we have this now

Day 57
Sunday April 24

We’ve noticed the occasional creaking sound at the end of our guitar recordings. I have to stay absolutely still to prevent it from happening. But that’s not so easy during songs when there are quiet, or stop/start sections. Little noises have been creeping in there too. I’ve been trying to minimise this in the studio by making sure I’m not wearing anything with buttons, like a shirt. No belt for trousers, and no buttoned trousers either. But still that noise. We discover it’s the strap moving just ever so slightly around where it’s attached to the guitar. Maja comes up with a genius idea to fix this. Put a cut open sock on the ends of each strap and attach them to the guitar through the socks. Now I can move around all I want in front of the most sensitive microphones and there’s no unwanted noise at all I now also have a guitar sock. Come on. Rock’n’roll.

Day 58
Tuesday April 27

I’m on my own for another week or so with Maja having left yesterday for a ten day visit back to Sweden. Top of my to do list is to basically record as much guitar as I can. I’m fairly confident I’ll at least be able to get all the guitar parts down in this time and maybe even one or two bass parts two. I get to really setting things up today, all ready to just blast it down. To continue with her own things, Maja’s taken her interface with her and I’ve got mine. I get to it and after a little while I discover that – well, let’s not get too technical and boring here – my interface doesn’t record in the same way hers does. Which will probably render anything I record on it unusable if we’re going to go for commercially viable levels of quality and consistency. Which we are. At first this is very frustrating because this was the main thing I was planning on doing with my time alone. But then I realise there is plenty I can still do, even if it’s just prep. I can do pretty damn good levels of practice and preparation with what I have. I’m not going to make predictions or get ahead of myself, but yeah, I’m still good with what I have here, just a different kind of good. I’ll take that.

Day 61
Friday April 29

Studio today and the sock falls off the guitar. This is possibly the first time anyone’s ever said or written that in the history of guitars. And yes. That is the most exciting and diary worthy thing that happens today.

Day 66
Wednesday May 4

Maja’s back today and wants to do absolutely nothing. Fair enough.

Day 67
Thursday May 5

Out to buy drumkit and three shops including Dublin
Do we want to write about this?

Day 72
Tuesday May 10

We’re supposed to be playing in The Trap tomorrow but we’ve been checking and there are no posters up and no mention of us on their website. We decide to cancel as it looks like no-one knows we’re playing. We meet Jimmy there and he tells us they lost the posters. ‘But people know alright,’ he says. Word has got around. But if you could bring more and we’ll get them up, that would be good. OK. We’re back on again, not as if we were ever really off, except maybe in our own minds. However, he asks if we could put our time back to 9:30 from 7:30 as one of Clara’s soccer teams has a big match and everyone will be at that. Cool. Done.

Day 73
Wednesday May 11

And what a gig it turns out to be. Fantastic attendance with a massive anticipation around the place for seeing us. And we meet it head on and in full. Huge reactions to everything and, at the end of it all, three encore shouts, two of which we respond to. I’m fortunate enough to have quite a lot of experience of triple encore calls. And in that experience, the third rarely goes well and you end up wishing you’d stopped at two. So we do, and still leave them wanting more.

This is also the first outing of our brilliant new backdrop which adds a whole new level to our stage appearance.

A few highlights of this one.

First, there are many shout outs for I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). So we play it early on, then of course it gets a massive call for when the encore shouts begin. And yes, we play it again.

Almost everyone here tonight came out just to see us, with one guy leaving work early in Dublin to be able to get here in time, and a few other people coming from 10 miles away and beyond.

The last time we played in here was November 5 last year, which happens to have been our first ever show. Fully six months ago. So it’s incredible for us when someone requests one of the songs we played that night – Bang Bang. Which we actually wrote entirely by accident the night before that show. They don’t call it out by name, instead saying, play that one you did without any music. Yep. That’s Bang Bang alright. Even more remarkable, we don’t even do that one anymore, or at least we haven’t done it for quite a while. So I’m sorry to report that we’re unable to meet this request for one of our own songs.

We have had this quite a bit at other shows, but it’s so cool to be able to say again, that we have people all around trying to sing along to songs they’ve never heard before. We know, because some of those songs we’ve never played in here before.

The total time for this show clocks in at 50 minutes. That’s 50 minutes of people hearing songs they’ve never heard before – apart from I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). But when we announce we’re at our last two songs, a whole bunch of disappointment is directed at us. After which, yes, we get all the encore calls.

And yes, at 50 minutes, this becomes our longest ever show, unless you count what we did at Bei Theresa in Hamburg, but really, that one just felt like a glorified rehearsal.

The hat really is getting some actual respect. We did well at The Lantern back in the middle of April and very much again here tonight. I think for the first time we’re realising we can actually make money doing exactly what we’re doing right now.

Day 77
Sunday May 15

There’s a coverband playing a mid afternoon show in the back garden of The Trap today and we go there for a really cool return as time and again we’re congratulated on our midweek show. We even get introduced to some people as the next Oasis. We’ll take that. After the coverband has finished their set, the stage at the back of the garden is left tantalisingly empty. As the DJ turns the volume up, me and Maja walk up the slightly spiralled ramp which leads to the side of the stage and basically get busy dancing all over it. After a while a few regulars come and join us. A little while after that when we think we’re done and go to walk down the ramp we’re very much told, no. You guys get back up on that stage. And so we do as Maja discovers she’s now very much the centre of attention, a role I think she’s decided she very much relishes in. When we finally do come down, I take off to the bar. When I look back, expecting to see Maja right behind me, I see she’s somewhat disappeared into a crowd of people who have welcomed her off the stage.

Day 78
Monday May 16

The Diary’s going to have a slightly different feel for a little while maybe. After a bit of a flurry of gigging activity, we’re not really trying to do much more right now than record. We don’t think anyone really wants a full blow by blow account of the studio, and it could also get quite confusing as we’re working on all the songs simultaneously; a vocal on this one, then that one, then a drum track on this one, then a bit of mixing and production over here and so on. So what we’re thinking is going track by track in here at the end of recording and maybe talking a bit about the experience of laying each one down. Most of the days we don’t write anything, assume we had our heads down in the studio, or maybe relaxing between studio days, because we really are about to get very busy in there.

Day 82
Friday May 20

Yeah. It’s kind of like this. A long and tough studio day today and we decide to go to The Trap for a quiet drink to take things in and decompress a little. We walk in and, rather than finding a chilled atmosphere we discover a full on band is playing and the place is packed. What have we missed. We quickly retreat to the street. A quick glance at our phones tells us it’s Friday. Damn. We thought it was Wednesday. It’s quite possible one of us even thought it was Tuesday.

Day 89
Friday May 27

We’ve been hitting the studio really hard for a while now and learning a lot. This is taking a lot longer than we thought it would and it’s going to take a lot longer yet. There is so much more to do and learn than we had possibly began to imagine at the start. As such we’ve been discovering that this is what it’s really all about at the moment. Learning how to use the thing – on so many levels – and, in some cases, just learning how to work together in what can at times be a bit of a pressure cooker environment where sometimes there are no right or wrong answers but where everyone has an opinion. We’re also really trying to figure out how we actually sound as a band; all this time we’ve been operating as a one acoustic guitar act, but suddenly we’re throwing bass and drums into the mix along with maybe a couple of other subtle elements. How does this rhythm section interact with us and how do we interact with it? What is this whole thing supposed to sound like? These are questions we’re wrestling with all over the place as we recruit a virtual bassist and drummer and they’re made up of the same people – me and Maja. For bass I’m playing and coming up with the parts, with Maja’s input as well. And it’s the same with the drums. We’re using midi drums for this but with real drum sounds recorded from source. It’s a big beast to tame and something Maja was working on for over a year to try to figure out. So even at what feels like an early stage in our midi drum journey, she’s already been on it a year. It’s only in this past phase of sessions that we’ve been able to work with them in a coherent way. And we’ve been doing that together. It’s been like trying to tame an enormous beast, finally getting it to bend to your command, and then trying to figure out what exactly you actually want to command it to do, while essentially still trying to work out all the details of the game.

With this and everything else it’s fair to say we’ve been getting incrementally fried, and we’re feeling done. For now.

So we’re taking a day or two totally off. Kinda. With that we take a drive to Ferbane, a village about 20 minutes away. We want to go and visit a few different places and maybe have a look at a bar or two. No hustling. Absolutely no hustling. But we may talk to some people, if you can give that another name please.

After walking up and down the peaceful roads of Ferbane we decide to go and have a look at a bar called Henneseys. It’s a decent sized front bar with a large restaurant out back and we’re able to have a quick chat with Fionulla, the manager. We’re not looking for gigs. We are NOT on the hustle. But we introduce ourselves to her anyway and she really likes the sound of what we’re doing and says yes, come back and try to organise something when you want to get onto that.

Ferbane really wasn’t that big, so now we decide to take a drive to Birr and see what that place is all about.

Well, what can we say about Birr? In population terms it’s not even twice the size of Clara and almost a third the size of Tullamore. But damn it has a lot of bars and we get a positive reaction from just about every one of them. By the time we’re done, Birr could well be our new favourite place. Who knew? We walk round the town and at pop our heads into most of the bars. Sometimes we do more than that. In a fair few of them we’re able to have a chat with a manager and one or two regulars.

In one bar we meet a customer called Speedy. He hears our pitch to the manager – we’re kinda on the hustle again, or at least introducing ourselves with intent, whatever you would call that. What can I say? We can’t help ourselves. We bump into him on the street as we’re leaving and he gives us a rundown of the bars of almost the whole town. This gives us a very good list to start with. He says it’s so great to meet people who are doing their own thing and having a go and he’s happy to do his bit to help.

I think it’s also fair to say we’re starting to develop a bit of quiet confidence in what we do. In one bar, the pitch – or whatever it is today because we are definitely not hustling – is going well and the manager says, ‘So you do a bit of everything?’ ‘No,’ I reply absolutely straight. ‘We only do our own thing.’ We get a bit of a nod of acceptance and respect from that as it goes. ‘I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have a go,’ he says. Thankyou very much. We’ll be back.

And on and on it goes with people just being impressed that we’ve come here and we’re having a go at having a go and doing our own thing.

Yep. Birr. We will be back.

Day 90
Saturday May 28

Out for another countryside walk today. We head towards the larger town of Mullingar (pop: 21,000). There are a few lakes dotted about around the outer edges of this town so we quite fancy a gentle countryside stroll. We find one of the larger areas, park the car next to a beautiful good sized lake and head into the woods. However, all is not quite as calm as we were looking for. We’ve landed here bang in the centre of the local music festival and, as we’re walking around trying to enjoy nature and calm our thoughts, the air is vibrating with bass drums and electronic music. I’m quite liking the contrast in ambience but Maja is finding it just upsets what she was hoping would be a tranquil mood. ‘No,’ she says after about 20 minutes. ‘This really isn’t working. I need to get out of here.’ That’s a shame, but understood. So back in the car it is. We’re gonna go check out Mullingar and see if we think we can do any damage here.

Well yes, we do believe we can is the conclusion. Where Birr was a lot of lovely, older style traditional bars, Mullingar is very much of the times and a lot of the places feel like slick city bars. We drop into quite a few but while yesterday we hit the town in mid afternoon and all was quiet and we were able to chat to people, this time we’ve arrived early evening on a Saturday and things are quite a bit livelier. But that’s OK. We’re just on a kind of fact finding, vibe feeling mission. The vibes are good and the facts will speak for themselves when it comes time to try our hands here. For now, yes, we’re also getting a really good feel for Mullingar and have a pretty good idea of what bars we might well have a go at first when we return.

By the time we get back to Clara, the soccer Champions League final is just about to begin. Oh OK. Why not. We pop into The Trap, the decision to head there made easier by their advertisement of a barbecue out back. That will do us just nicely thankyou very much. But more than that. We get out there and discover it’s free. Yep. Free hamburgers and a great seat and table from which to be able to see the big match. A great way to conclude our two days off and two wonderful days of definitely not hustling.

Day 94 – 124
June. Just June

As the month develops we get deep into album territory. This is where we often lose track of time and declare we should take a break for a snack or something, only to discover it’s 10pm, or maybe even later. This includes one day when we decide to do a roast dinner, only to discover it’s past 11pm by the time we emerge. That’s fine. Put the oven on. We’ll do it now. Dinner comes out of the oven around 2am. Yep. This is what it’s like now. While this is the most extreme example of how things are going now, it’s also a pretty good indication of where we are. And each day when we go to bed, that night’s sleep just feels like a necessary interruption before we begin again. Sometimes not much more than a glorified nap with thoughts already deep into the next day. As soon as we wake up we know what to do and we know how we want to do it and we’re almost directly back to the studio. Yes there are days when we get smashed by tiredness or allergies or some such thing and do little more than stay in and around bed all day. But on the whole, as June rocks on and on we roll with it, you could say we’re somewhat starting to find our rhythm.

During the month, Maja has a great idea. What will become known as the ‘Now hustle.’ So far we’ve been booking shows for a week or so in advance, and then turning up on the appointed day with all our gear, to set up and play them. So far so conventional. Maja’s idea changes all this. What if we just turn up at places and offer to play them there and then? And turn up totally prepared. Which means one speaker, which we’ll carry in a backpack, bought specially for that purpose. So we take ourselves off to the biggest sports and outdoor shop in Tullamore and find exactly what she was thinking of. So now we can walk semi conspicuously into a venue with one of us carrying a guitar and the other one wearing a backpack. Who would know? Make the pitch and say we’ll play there and then. No idea how many songs we would do. Maybe 20 minutes worth? Pass the hat, pack up and then onto the next place. We have the backpack, we have the speaker, we have the guitar. And we have just about the right amount of cheek and confidence to go with all that. You know what? It might just work.

Day 125
Friday July 1

We’re up and about and I’m all ready for another day in the studio when Maja suddenly says, ‘I want to gig tonight.’

So, rather than working on the album today, we get busy seeing what a set could look like and working on that. Which means only the smashiest of smash set songs. We’re thinking of a top length of six songs per show, maybe fewer. And hoping to play at least three shows. We’re also going to have Maja on the mic, but myself unplugged. We’re not anticipating massively busy bars so we’re confident this will work. People often play acoustic and unplugged. We’re just giving Maja a bit of an extra mic boost so that she doesn’t have to blow her voice. We rehearse a bit later than intended, and then it’s time to get our gear together and leave. But we’ve never done this before so the organisation also takes a bit longer than intended. We’re not ready to leave until sometime between 6:30 and 7. Meaning we don’t even arrive in Birr until around 7:30. Way too late to make any real impact, we think, but we’ll just get started and see what we can do.

The very first bar we go into, the manager says he doesn’t feel comfortable with the concept of the hat, but he likes that we’re trying to do our own thing. The place is really busy right now so he invites us to call him later in a few days and arrange a show, for which he’ll be happy to pay us. He also says that when we do come back and play, we can sit in the corner and be something like pleasant background music. We thank him very much and leave, with no intention to call. Fair enough to everything he said, but right now for us, this is all about the hat. But also, damn. There’s no way we’re going somewhere to be background music.

We go right into the bar next door where there’s just four people in the place. But we’ve already decided we’re not going to let that put us off. Four people plus a bar staff is four people plus a bar staff to help spread the word. It all counts. The manager in here is up for it, but asks us to come back at 10 when there will be more people in here. OK. That works. First gig in the book tonight. We leave them posters and beer mats. We’re in and we’re on.

Now we head down the high street and into a bar called The Palace where we meet bar manager Nadia. She’s well into it and says we can come back and play at 9. Great.

It’s approaching eight now and we have two gigs in the book. We go nearby to a bar called Molloys where there’s just five or six people spread across the bar. Never mind. We do out pitch. ‘You’re talking about playing now?’ Asks the manager. Yep. ‘Sure, you can do that,’ he says. ‘There’s a bunch of guys out back. If they want to see what you can do, you can play for them.’ Great. We head out back and find a large concrete garden with a bunch of guys in their early 20s sitting around a big round table watching rap videos. They’re all attention as we tell then what we’d like to do and they’re well up for it. One of them goes and turns the TV off and they wait expectantly for us to start. We’re right into it with Six Sense Lover, and yes, they’re with us. We carry on through another three songs, declare we’re done and they want more. All through this, various people from the front bar have been coming out to see what’s going on. We give the boys here their encore, then produce the hat. They almost fall over each other to put into it and we’re not just talking coins either. This is a decent haul from a great start. They also give us the heads up on a few venues we should check out. Brilliant. Thanks a lot guys. We’re on it.

From here we get to The Palace quickly to see Nadia and tell her we’ll be running a little late as we have some places to check out before our show in here at 9. No problem. The first bar we were told to look at is insanely busy. The manager meets us and takes our card, but really, there’s no chance to chat and really hustle here. I leave them to it.

The next place is Kellys nearby. It’s quietish now and the manager, John, is interested but wants to see what we have to offer first. He wants to hear at least one song. ‘Go and rattle away in that corner there and we’ll see how we go,’ he says. We don’t set up the speaker. Instead, I hang back a little with the guitar and Maja stands on the corner of the L shaped bar, right in the middle of the people sitting at it and facing the bar staff. I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). What else? We blast through half of it and climax at the end of the second chorus rather than going all the way to the end. This is enough. The place erupts and John says, ‘Very good. I’ll see you guys at 11.’

So that’s it. Having arrived in town a little after 7:30, we now have shows at 9, 10 and 11, and did our first one at 8. And we’ve just shown what we can do in this bar to get that show at 11. That also counts as a performance. But now we’re actually in a rush. It’s already way past nine and we have to do this next show, make it to our 10 O’Clock, then round it all off at 11.

The Palace goes so well that Nadia immediately books us again. For 11am gig for Monday, July 11. That’s eleven of the A and the M. OK.

Now we pack up as quickly as we can and take ourselves to our 10pm where we discover they’d forgotten they already had something on so we were double booked. No problem. We’ll see if we can do Kellys early. We can. It’s 10:30 by the time we get started in there so pretty close to the booked time so all good. The reaction in here is huge with two encore shouts and John, the ever so sceptical at the beginning manager almost dancing his way around the place. And again, the hat does its work, just as it did in Mollys and The Palace. Including the audition, that’s four shows around here tonight with another one booked that didn’t quite make it. And from a standing start at 7:30. Damn. And the hat has done really well for us. This is a thing now.

A big takeaway from tonight is that we have to be better organised with how we organise and carry things. A few times we were asked for cards, or wanted to give beer mats, or just give cards around a bar, and we had to scramble a bit to find them. We also found ourselves rushing to pack up a bit a couple of times, meaning we then had a bit of trouble setting up quickly at the next place. We just need to tighten ourselves up a little bit on all this. It’s all about the percentages in the details. And it’s nights like this that let you know exactly what you need to sharpen up on to pick up those percentages. On the way home as we reflect on tonight, we also conclude that four songs is pretty much optimum, with one more to be added for an encore. We also decide not to hustle any of the bars we play for future gigs. No. Instead, hit a town and move onto the next one. Otherwise we could find ourselves bouncing between towns all the time playing this or that single gig that we booked, when we could be in some new place hustling a whole bunch of gigs on the spot, just like we’ve done tonight.

Now going to try to catch last orders at The Trap. Well, we do, but we’re only just settling in when people start to ask if we could bring the guitar and carry on in here. We resist, but the requests become a clamour. OK. We’re doing this. I bring the guitar back and we do another set, totally unamplified this time with me hanging back and Maja giving it her all out front. And for the fifth time tonight we totally smash it. I think we’ll take that for a result. Just so much bigger, better and way more vast than anything we could have expected when we left the house, especially as late as we did. And yes, we’ve also brought in a lot more money than we could have imagined from doing this. People, we’ve taken totally our own songs, own vibe and our own style. And it’s happening. We are doing this.

Day 126
Saturday July 2

Just decompressing and going over yesterday. First, just an amazing experience and result. And yes, as covered yesterday, we learned a lot, not least in how we could do it with just that bit more more slickness. But we have also seen if this is viable, and yes it is. Now we know for a fact that we can go out, play shows on the spot in the way we want, and make money.

We conclude that if we can just get out there enough and continue doing what we did yesterday, we can totally make a living out of this now. And that is a big, no, huge, moment to have arrived at. But now we have to concentrate on the studio for a little while longer. Yesterday was really about satisfying that curiosity itch as to how much this could actually work. Now we know it can, we get back to work.

Day 132
Friday July 8

We decide to have another go at that instant gig/hat thing. This time we’re going to try Athlone, the second biggest town in Ireland’s midlands region. The biggest is Portlaoise, the third is Mullingar and the fourth is our own Tullamore.

After a couple of places in which the manager isn’t in and so it’s almost a waste of time to hustle, we come to The Brazen Monkey. We were deliberately heading in this direction as we’ve heard in previous visits how this was a new place that would welcome new music, and so it proves to be. And it certainly does all look brand shiny new and all refurbed. However, the manager would like to hear at least something of a song first. We do our half of Naked thing and yep. Come back at 8:30. It’s about seven now. Cool. A bit more hustling to see what else we can shake out, while having one in the book.

What follows is a slightly frustrating time with few managers being around tonight. Then we come to a bar that says yeah, sure. Go for it. Great. We start setting up, then the person who said yes comes back. Turns out that person was a supervisor, and the manager has told them no. Apparently another band has been booked and is about to arrive. I can confidently report (giving all benefit of the doubt while others may not) a band could have been booked but none arrives. We know for an absolute fact that no band arrives.

We’ve got time for one more hustle and we decide to hit a place called Vals. This is a quiet locals type bar but we checked it out a while ago, had quite a positive response and were encouraged to come and try to play should we ever return to the area. Well, here we are. We go and meet Val once more and he says that yes, absolutely. Come back at 10/10:30 and do your thing. Great. Now for The Brazen Monkey.

We arrive and the vast bar is practically empty. Oh. OK. No worries though, says Gary, the manager. There’s a big crowd coming at 9. Hold off and then you can play for them. Oh wow. Cool. We have our speaker with us for Maja’s vocals but Gary’s adamant we won’t need any amplification at all. Just do your thing, he says. But no. We mic the vocals thankyou very much. So we set up and wait.

Nine comes, and so does the promised crowd. A lot, a lot of them. Enough to totally fill the bar. It looks promising until we realise that there’s very little reaction to a live act being on. Not only very little reaction, they don’t even seem that aware that we’re here. Also, up to now we’ve been playing much smaller bars to not so many people and where you could reasonably expect to play totally unplugged. Although Maja does have a mic, which is how we’re set up in here. We get started and people around us are into it, but that doesn’t last too long – two songs at most before we realise we’re doing little more than playing to ourselves – as the people out front keep pounding the jagermeisters. They’ve just got off the boat – literally. One of those Viking type trips and they’re clearly well into their evening. I try to take the show to them and disappear into the thick crowd with the guitar while Maja continues singing from the stage. It’s like this. I can go where I want because I’m not plugged in. Maja has a lead and so can be heard, but can’t go and take on the crowd like I can. I’d like to say it’s a valiant effort on my part to do just that, but really it doesn’t work and I’m basically ignored. I get back to the stage and me and Maja agree we should do one more song and call it. That will make it four songs for this show. About standard, but we were expecting more and, after a promising start, it really didn’t take off. I must say it’s with some reluctance that I start to take the hat round. I’m met with almost incredulity. As though I’m some beggar who just wandered in off the street. Yep. So many people in here, especially those towards the back, didn’t even know anything was going on.
Hey mate

Bottle of wine and Never Dine Alone. Babble On really got us, then Without You had us dancing in the kitchen. Without You is up there with Maja’s favourite songs. Great job mate. From Maja specifically: ‘Keep going and keep strong.’ Not at all to be confused with me not wishing you to keep going and being strong. Remember: The Diaries love you.
We start to feel not so bad about this when the lady in charge of this unwieldy crowd comes up and asks to borrow Maja’s mic. Maja’s reluctant, but the lady assures her it’s just for a few seconds. It clearly isn’t, as she starts to call out a whole itinerary and then starts trying to line up some kind of game. Yep. Pretty big liberty taking. But now we see that the whole place ignores her too. We really were against it. This crowd is up for nothing but seeing how many Jagermeister shots they can do, and now I see that, it all makes sense. This is one of the most mind bending, personality altering drinks there is, and it’s all over the place. And now, as our new and unwelcome microphone friend continues to struggle against the tide, we see just how puerile this group is, as a single, unthinking group entity. All of a sudden, for no apparent reason, people start randomly bursting balloons like this is the most fun game ever. For us, the place has now become something we just need to escape from as we try to talk between us. Another balloon bursts at a painful frequency and volume. Then another, and another and another. A few more and we’re getting visibly angry, almost panicky with the ear splitting regularity of the things. The jager has taken full effect and a large group of actual adults has been turned into a bunch of follow the leader toddlers. The biggest and most fun pleasure in their lives right now being the loud bursting of balloons. Oh, this is just the best game ever. Except it really isn’t. And we’re packing gear away and so can’t even cover our ears. We get everything down as quickly as we possibly can and flee out into the still sunny street without even bothering to acknowledge or say anything to Gary. First, we just had to get out of there. Second, we feel we’ve been totally hung out to dry here, and feel even worse towards him for the insistence that we wouldn’t need any amplification at all. What the hell was he expecting us to do? Well, we’ve done it and we’re done. Off to Vals. Well, the ‘show’ we’ve just done hasn’t been as totally lost as we thought it was as a few guys want to talk to us now outside and say how much they enjoyed it. Wonderful. When they ask where we’re going next and we tell them, they ask what we’re bothering to go there for?

We’re met at Vals by a very sedate crowd. Everyone seated at the small bar. Expected. And a young family seated at the table opposite the bar. Cool. As soon as we begin, the place opens up for us and everyone’s totally into it. Especially the family and their two boys. We power through a fantastically fun and relaxed set with the whole place on our side. We really are helping to make their evening and, after our last experience, they’re making ours as they restore our faith in impromptu audiences. When we finish, Val is first to generously put into the hat. Then everyone else follows. We leave with the best wishes of the bar ringing harmoniously in our ears rather than the attack dog balloons from which we escaped the last place. Guys, that’s why we bothered to go to Vals and why we shouldn’t have bothered with your lot and that last jagermeister soaked disaster.

Day 133
Saturday July 9

We played at a place called Gussies in the nearby village of Ballycumber a few months ago. You might remember. A whole bunch of people came to see us and pay €10 for doing so shortly after. So it’s with some confidence that we return today and book ourselves in again to play tonight. We meet someone who says he’s the manager, he’d love to have us later. Eight O’Clock give or take. Great. That gives us an hour or so to go to Ferbane. We’ve decided to check out Hennesey’s, where we met the lovely Fionulla a little while ago. She’s delighted to see us when we arrive and very quickly books us for 9:30 tonight. Before we leave, she makes sure to get posters from us and to take pictures of us with them for her social media. Two shows almost immediately in. That will do us. Now off to Gussies.

We arrive and there’s someone else apparently in charge now. We go and say hello to the guy behind the bar, but before we do, he says, ‘No. You guys are no good.’ He says it with such brutal finality. Sorry? ‘I remember you. You were in here a few months ago. You were no good. It didn’t work. ‘But we spoke to someone today who said he was the manager and we booked to play here with him.’ ‘No you didn’t.’ Oh, this is fun. Fair enough. Someone was messing about. I know we’re going to get nowhere here, but I can’t let this next thing go unremarked. ‘I get that you didn’t like it,’ I begin, ‘but there were people here last time who came to see our next show. And they paid for it.’ ‘No they didn’t,’ he says. ‘Yes they did,’ I say. ‘No they didn’t,’ he says. ‘Yes they…’ actually I don’t. But he does continue. ‘You were no good.’ We’re stunned. We’re actually laughing at this guy even as we’re being rebuffed in the rudest of terms. It’s the only way to react to his unreasonable absurdity. Although this might just be his gruff friendly/ unfriendly way because in his next breath he says, ‘You might want to try Flynns down the road. They have music.’ OK. Er, thankyou. And we’re gone. We will not be returning to Gussies.

We find Flynns and the manager is hesitant. He puts it to the quiet regulars in here. Do they want us to play? They’re non committal, although one or two do give quiet voices of assent. That’s enough. We set up under a lot of bemused gazes. Then we begin. Under a lot of bemused gazes. The ones that are well mannered enough to not be bemused have their backs to us. So maybe they are bemusedly gazing, just in a different direction. Or maybe doing gazing of an even more negative kind. No way of knowing. We being the only way we think we can under such tough circumstances. With a blast of I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). Gets them every time. Even when we only do the half length version, which is exactly what we do now. Nope. Nothing. Or at last not much. OK. Rock’n’Roll Tree. Again, very little. Now we hit them with another of our old faithful encore songs. How You Rock’n’Roll. When even this fails to elicit much more than an approving sigh – yes, they can sigh approvingly here apparently – we look at each other and are like, yep. We’re done. After yesterday’s embarrassment at The Brazen Monkey, I can’t face doing the hat in here. Maja says she’ll do it then. And the first guy she goes up to puts a tenner in. Wow. Did not see that coming. A few other people put in too. Coins, but hey, we’re always grateful no matter what it is. We leave with a haul of around €15. We’ve had better results, but hey, a packed Brazen Monkey yesterday yielded less. It’s with some triumph that we reach the car. We really can’t take that result in after a gig that felt so totally flat. Next.

We meet something of a similar bemusement at Henneseys, but a more familiar kind. A, ‘We’re not sure what to expect, but OK, do your thing,’ kind. It helps relax everyone that Fionnula is so welcoming, and as soon as we begin, people relax even more. Or, more than that. They’re very quickly with us. Two songs in and the experience of Ballycumber is totally washed away and drained behind us. Yes. This is very much more like it. And the hat agrees. We count it as soon as we get to the car and it’s given us the highest result from this type of gig so far.

Day 134
Sunday July 10

We take some time to really talk about and have a good look at last night and consider how we’ve done so far with all these instant hat gigs. The more we talk, the more we realise ,as long as we just do the miles, we really are now a fully, financially viable, independent proposition. With that we declare ourselves professional songwriters and performers. The huge moment just got huger.

It gets even madder when we go out for a pint in Dolans and get asked for our autographs by someone we’ve never met. And this in a pub we’ve never played.

Day 142
Monday July 18

Maja decides today is a Diary holiday. The sun is fully out, our time is ours to do what we want with it, and we’ve been using it very busily lately. So yeah. Makes sense. Also, Maja’s going to Sweden again next week for a visit so we should take these hot sunny days of summer while we can. We’re taking this one. We have a think and a look and decide we’re going to go to the seaside. We settle on a beach in Galway, get packed up and set off.

Although it’s a Monday, there’s still a very healthy attendance at the large beach we discover, but at the same time, plenty of space for us to set ourselves up wherever we want. This will be the classic beach day of reading in the sun and swimming in the sea. And what a great sea it is, full of some of the biggest waves we’ve ever seen, but just small enough to be playful and not dangerous. And play in and among them we most definitely do, along with the rest of a very joyful crowd of swimmers and wave riders. Although, with all these waves comes a tiny little bit of inconvenience in the shape of hundreds and hundreds of jellyfish. They’re spread all over the beach and they come upon us in, well, waves.

We ride the crests up and down, surf/swim, then out again. Then off for some sunbathing/reading. Then back out into the water. It’s a few hours of summer beach perfection until we declare ourselves done and head off for a drive. New destination: The cliffs of Moher.

What to say about this world famous landmark? Just that they’re so high, you can look down and see birds flying high above the sea. We’re over 200 metres above that sea at some points as we walk along the cliff edge. Well, not quite the cliff edge. Are you crazy? No. We’re safely inside the short wall, a comfortable distance away from the actual edge thankyou very much. But close enough to marvel again and again and again as we look along the seemingly endless stretch to more cliffs in the distance and even a small chain of islands. And again, with it being a Monday afternoon, we almost have this 14 kilometre long thing to ourselves as we pass very few tourists. It’s an absolute privilege to be here and we’re aware that we are in the presence of, and standing on top of, one of the true natural wonders of the world. And yep. I’ve just checked out worlds greatest cliffs, and right at the top, standing above all the others in more ways than one, is this very spot we’re standing on right now. It’s not just a walk. So many times we just stop and stare and try to take it all in. But really, that’s an impossible feat. You can never take this all in. You have have to keep trying and keep looking. Until that sad moment comes when you realise you have to go home. It’s either that or stay here forever. And believe me, that may well not be so hard to do. This truly is scenery the like of which neither of us has ever seen. With that, I’m touched with more than a tinge of guilt that I lived in Ireland for nine years way back when and never came here. Well, I’ve put that right now.

And we’re still not done as we get back in the car and head off in search of dinner. Now onto the lovely little town of Lisdoonvarna. We find a large hotel restaurant here and settle down for fish and chips while being entertained by a pretty cool and lively cover duo. But what blows me away here more than anything is that they’re playing for tips. It’s always been a given that original acts do not get paid. They can make money if people pay to see them – no upper ceiling; how big do you want your stadium? But unless you’re famous and are playing Mr millionaire’s birthday party, original acts do not actually get paid. It’s up to them to hustle. And on that, we have the hat. Cover acts on the other hand very much have a ceiling. It can get a little high, but it will never reach the stratosphere – alright, the occasional tribute act. You’ve got me. But you see what I mean. No. Cover acts get paid. Fill the diary, chuck the odd wedding in and you’ve got a nice enough full time earner. You won’t be retiring to the Caribbean in your yacht on it but if you’re able to play the game well enough, you can get by while it’s rocking. And that’s why people play covers. But for a tip jar now? That’s harsh. I’d never seen it until Hamburg, and I’ve been aware for a while that it can be common in some tip heavy cultures. But in Ireland? No. Original bands hustle – or take all the non paying gigs they can get in the hope of reaching the next level – and cover bands get paid. Original bands can strike it rich, but usually don’t, while cover bands can get by, and usually do. But here we now see the first creeping of the metaphorical hat into coverband territory. In Ireland. All of this is to say that I feel much better about the hat now. The first time we did it here we were told it wasn’t very Irish, although to be fair, we did quite well that night. On our first full hustle, the first guy we asked said he was uncomfortable with it. And to be fair, when we were contemplating it after our Berlin and Hamburg experiences, I was uncomfortable with it – still not quite got it in/on my head so to speak – and my one reservation about it being a financial way forward in Ireland was that culturally, it would not be accepted. I still can’t believe it has been totally accepted in the way that it has.

In Germany, once we became aware of the ubiquitous concept of the hat, whenever we saw a band we put in generously because, well, that’s what we were hoping people would do for us. Which could mean putting in two or three times a night because we were bar hopping, checking out venues and bands. Who would all then put a hat in front of us. And it was Germany, so we always carried cash; it’s still essentially a cash society. Now here we are, a lovely dinner in front of us after an amazing day out and we have a live act to enjoy it all to. And they really are very enjoyable. And guess what. Yep. We have no cash. Oh OK, we manage to scrabble a few coins together so that we can make it look like we’re joining in, but really, it’s not much more than appearances and solidarity between fellow hustling musicians. Sorry lads. We tried. And believe us, the intention was there.

Day 148
Sunday July 24

We decide to go to Trap just for a drink or two. As soon as we walk in we’re met with clapping and a small cheer from a section of the bar standing near the door. Now a few of those people come forwards and request a picture with us. Oh. OK. We do that and then continue checking the place out, because there’s clearly something going on out back. We walk through the bar and into the back function room which really is rocking. Just as we’re at the door and about to enter, someone comes out, see us and also requests a picture, giving his phone to a friend to do the, er, honours, I guess. Damn. This really feels like being famous.

The back bar thing is a Status Quo tribute act and they’ve really brought the crowds out tonight. General live music fans and committed fans. And Status Quo inspire a level loyalty in their fanbase that very few other bands enjoy. That loyalty is on full view here and is actually a little inspiring as the committed few work the room and pull other people up to dance. We grab a drink, find a great spot at a table in the middle of the room and get right into it, and yes, a dance or two. In an atmosphere like this, with a band this tight and into it, you really can’t not.

A few rounds in and I head into the front bar for another. Before I reach the actual bar, I’m enthusiastically introduced to a guy called Roy. Roy, I’m told, is a major promoter. He counts Dublin’s 3 Arena as one of his venues. Damn, this is the place that used to be The Point, Ireland’s biggest purpose built music venue with a capacity of 13,000. While I’m standing there, Roy is told all sorts of great things about us. Then he says to me, ‘Could you do a song or two for me in here now, or not now exactly, just some time tonight?’ I’m not entirely sure, but I’m met with something of a chorus of persuasion, so I say I’ll see what I can do. I’m not going to just get the guitar and have me and Maja do something in here without any licence at all. Not to mention the fact that she’ll want to be amplified. So I go and pull Maja out of the back room and tell her what’s just been asked and would she be up for it? Well, yeah, sure. We’ve both had a few drinks, but hey, it’s just a few songs and we know what we’re doing well enough. Let’s do it. Now to see if this can be done. Jimmy’s around and I ask him for a quick chat. I explain to him what’s going on and what we’ve been asked to do. It’s quite loud, even out here in the courtyard type area, and he’s not completely sure what I’m asking. To be fair, neither am I. His initial response is, ‘Not a chance.’ It’s not been planned and besides, there’s another band playing right now. I tell him we had no intention of this, but have an opportunity to play for a major promoter who’s specifically asked us to perform for him here and now. Jimmy ponders for a few seconds and says, ‘Yeah, but what money are you asking for?’ Money? No. Nothing. We don’t ask bars for money at all. We do the hat. But this being a kind of live audition, we might not even do that tonight. He thinks again. Whatever he says next I decide I’m going to have to have to accept because we’ve had enough of a back and forth and the volume is quite difficult to talk through. ‘Oh, OK then,’ he says. Brilliant. We’re on. I go and tell Maja, then I go into the front bar to tell Roy. He’s nowhere to be seen. But no worries, I’m told. He’s around. Just go get your gear and do your thing. OK. One impromptu instant show coming up.

By the time we’ve got back home, returned and set up, the show in the back bar is coming to an end. Word has got round that we’re about to play, and an expectant crowd is starting to form. Great. Except Roy is still not among them. He said he would be around all night and whenever we played would be fine. Well, where is he? I’m told various things. Out back, or maybe even gone to Dolans for a quick one. But we should just start, we’re told. If he doesn’t come, he can be sent a video. But that’s no good. We could have already just have given him a video link if that was the case. He wanted to see us. He asked us. Where is he? All fine, but the increasing crowd is starting to get a bit restless and really wants us to start. We say we’ll wait another ten minutes and if he doesn’t come, well, we’re all set up to play now. People clearly want a show, and so we’ll just play. But just the two or three songs, as that’s all we were planning to do, just so Roy could have a look.

Two or three songs. Yeah, right. But this is in danger of becoming like The Brazen Monkey; I have an unplugged guitar, while Maja has a microphone. I do my thing, walking among the room chugging out a few isolated chords as something of an introduction while Maja gets ready. I can immediately see this is very different to The Brazen Monkey. People are waiting. Their attention is held. They want to see us. Not slam Jager and burst balloons. We start. And it’s on. Instantly. The room is with us all the way. There’s not a single hope we’re getting out of here playing just two or three. Two or three in and it’s clear the room is just warming up. The cheers greeting the ends of our songs are enormous. Some of the reactions enter soccer jubilation territory. This is mad, and we’re just riding it. Me all over the place and Maja doing her thing from the stage. And in and among it all, our friend Cyvina is filming. We’re going to miss the end on the video because we were not expecting anything like this and my battery is not fully charged. But I can report that we get enough.

After song four or five, someone comes up to me to make a request. I tell him we only do our own songs, sorry. ‘These are all your own songs?’ he asks in incredulity. Yep. He takes a big step back and says, ‘Carry on.’ Brilliant. And so we do.

We end up playing around 40 minutes and it’s a full on sweaty affair, with the whole room involved and engaged. And here’s Jimmy, coming in for the party as well, and the two of us just rock it out when me and Maja break out our latest song – The Cat – for it’s first appearance.

When we finish, the call for an encore is absolutely irresistible. We blast into How You Rock’n’Roll. We’ve already played I Like You (Better When You’re Naked), but of course we’re not going to get away with not playing it again. Bar regular Alan is with us right at the front, being a great cheerleader and supporter, and now he turns MC. He announces to the crowd that we’re now going to play what he calls our hit. You all know it, he says. Over to us. It’s into a frenzy that we launch our final song and our second encore. And when it’s all over, Cyvina comes up to us and in some jubilation presents us with our hat. Oh wow. She’s already taken it upon herself to do the hat. And it’s full. People really have gotten into the spirit of it and very generously put in. By far our biggest ever take. And for a show we had absolutely no idea of when we came in here tonight. It’s fair to say it’s up there with the very best we’ve done, and certainly the most vociferously received. Although yes, Laksmi in Berlin still holds its very special place in our memories. But tonight? Oh wow. Just the size of it. The full show-ness of it. The hat result. The expectation. Yes, this was a big one. But Roy is still nowhere to be seen. As far as we’re aware, he missed it all.

And here’s a part of what he missed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xhjg2Wp0I8&t=29s

Day 149
Monday July 25

The owner of our local music shop in Tullamore recommended a specific guitar for us a while back, one that he was just starting to get in. He has a really good feel for our sound and totally understands what kinds of demands our hard hitting, low tuning and high energy performances place on a guitar. This is a monster of a guitar from Tanglewood and we go in today to have a look at it. He says it can handle low end better than just about anything in the price range, has a larger, stronger body, and can be extra reinforced just for us. It’s a Harry Potter wand moment. As soon as we take it off the wall, it already feels like ours. And I don’t need to play it for more than a few seconds to confirm that fact. It has a sound and feel unlike anything I’ve ever experienced from an acoustic. Just enormous. Huge action – meaning the strings are set high above the fretboard. But that’s fine. The way we play, we really need that extra room for string vibration.

Day 151
Wednesday July 27

Maja leaves for Sweden today. The plan now is that I will have a couple of weeks to really hit the studio, rerecording all the guitar parts with the new guitar. Then the bass down, then onto the drums. Basically to get as much as I can of the backing tracks down. We’ve decided to take advantage of Maja’s Sweden trip for a brief European tour because, get this, she’s driving there from here, then driving all the way back again. So, we decided, why not come back together, hitting a few different countries on the way? And we decided to begin that together bit in Berlin, sometime in the second week of August. Then after Berlin we’ll play it as we go, hitting another country or hopefully two, before returning to Ireland on August 24 through France.

Day 152
Thursday July 28

My studio stuff doesn’t quite work out as planned. The day Maja leaves I get sick. And stay sick for a little over a week. I do manage to get some studio time in when I’ve recovered, but not as much as I was hoping for. During this period we decide to head to Berlin on August 11 by which time I’ve at least managed to get all my guitar parts in.

Day 158
Wednesday August 3

A message comes from Maja to tell me that she’s bought the equipment we need to go wireless, something we’ve been discussing lately. Now she’s gone and actually sorted it out. Just brilliant. Another step forwards in our presentation. We’ll be trying this out for the first time when we play the first show of our next European tour.

Day 161
Saturday August 6

Recovering from being sick and just kind of meandering to take off, while getting back into the studio and really getting those double tracked guitars down. Then my phone pings. It’s a guy saying he works with Roy and that Roy would like to meet us. I Text back and say that Maja’s not in Clara right now and that we’re going on tour soon, but I’m around. Great, comes the message back. If you’d like to meet, Roy’s in Dolans right now and he’d like to talk to you. Oh. Oh. OK. So I take myself off to Dolans, and on the way I get another text telling me exactly where he is in there. Fine. And yep, I do find him. It’s a good job I was told where he was actually, over by the side next to the fireplace. Because the place is packed. Of course it is. It’s Saturday night.
He’s a bit surprised and confused when I go and say hi and that I understand he wanted to see me. I’m now confused that he’s confused, and I show him the text communications I’ve had in the past half hour or so. ‘Oh, that’s just someone in here playing silly beggars,’ he says. I’m confused even more. ‘I do want to talk to you as it happens, but this is someone just trying to insert themselves into the deal.’ The deal? What the hell? Roy continues. ‘Look, I was planning on calling you,’ and he pulls out our card from his top pocket. Right there in his pocket. He immediately tells me to forget whoever was texting me, and I never do find out who it was. But it looks like someone got wind that Roy was interested in working with us and decided to, as he says, insert themselves into the deal as a middleman. What the hell? People are inserting themselves into potential deals involving us now? Apparently. ‘So you did see us?’ I ask. ‘I did. I kept myself at the back, but I saw alright. Then a few days later I saw a bit more on some videos I was sent.’ Oh, again. OK. ‘Look,’ Roy continues, ‘I know Maja’s away…’ He knows? ‘When is she getting back?’ ‘Well, she isn’t,’ I begin. ‘Well, she is, but I’m meeting her before then. In Berlin in a few days, and then we’re going on tour for a few weeks.’ ‘Great. And you’re back when?’ ‘August 23rd. So, last week in August.’ ‘Cool,’ Roy says. ‘When you get back, give me a call and we’ll see about starting to get some gigs arranged. You’d be looking at something in the €500 region. Sound good?’ This is mad, but I don’t blink. ‘Yeah, but you do know we only play originals right?’ ‘I do.’ ‘Great then. I’ll let you get back to it and I’ll be in touch.’ ‘Do that.’ We shake hands and I’m out of there, his number on a piece of paper he’s just written on for me. I go across the road to The Trap, get a beer, go in the back garden and get in touch with Maja.

‘You’ll never guess what’s just happened.’

As we discuss this, now and in the next few days, we decide this is even bigger than getting the fabled record deal. We talk about that thing when bands have this or that label interested in them, or maybe when a new band gets signed and it’s all go for them, but a record deal could still go all kinds of ways south. This is much more than that as far as we’re concerned. This is what looks like a major promoter looking to get involved and to throw us straight in. Record deals. For a start, what does that even mean today? No, this is getting in with someone offering gigs, very well paying ones right from the off, and with a line to The 3 Arena. The Point. Ireland’s biggest music venue. We have no idea what to imagine. Support gigs with major artists? Probably some smaller gigs to start at smaller venues to see how we get on. Surely not straight to the arena. I’m guessing we’d have to really earn our stripes first. But he’s talking real money straight from the off. What kind of gigs would they be? Not basic pub gigs, that’s for sure. Not at €500 for a new original band. And what kind of new original band gets €500 a gig? What kind of gig even pays that for an original act? But even forgetting the money, with no idea how regular those kinds of gigs would be, this really does look like a potential line to really getting this thing started. We conclude that our job now is to sharpen ourselves up with a solid series of gigs in Europe, then get back and make the call.

Could this really be it? Or whatever that ‘it’ thing is?

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