Day 418

Monday August 26

Maja has a week off and we’re using it to get ourselves back into the studio to see if we can finally start to do some album damage. The concept of the album has kinda changed a little. Well, not exactly changed as such. Well, it’s like this. Yes it’s been a long time and yes there have been long periods of dormancy to be fair for some of the reasons a little outlined above. But while we have the twelve songs we’ve always intended to be on this debut album, no matter what other songs we’ve written and continue to write, we’re not going to wait until the whole thing is done before putting it out as one piece of work. Well, music and the whole concept of how music is released is changing anyway, and by default we’re fitting right into that. So yeah. What we’re planning now is as soon as a song is done, we’re just putting it out. When the next one is done, out that goes too. And so on until all twelve are out. At which point we can repackage the whole lot as the long (for us at least) awaited debut album HEᒐ. By then we’ll also have other songs ready to go; first of all, album number two is already completely written and album number three is practically all there too. Within that, a load of recording and pre-production has already happened. So yeah, although HEᒐ has been a long time in the coming, once it actually has emerged, we’ll be fully ready to rock’n’roll onto the next stage.

Day 423

Saturday August 31

Oh wow. Oasis has announced they’re getting back together to play a few huge shows. After that, who knows? Maybe by the time you’re reading this, you do. But this is Oasis doing their thing again. One of our touchstone bands. We have so many references to them and their lyrics in so many of our songs. Our first studio release, just out now, is full of them. You may know it if you’ve seen one or two of our videos. Rock’n’Roll Tree. For a start, it begins with the line ‘Some might say…’ Then the chorus, well, one of the choruses, it’s that kind of song, starts with, ‘And it shines,’ and ends with, ‘When you’re standing on the shoulders of what some might say/ In a sink full of fishes.’ And another of our most referenced bands, Oasis adjacent you could say, is also in there with three references in one tiny tiny section. ‘When he loves you all the more than yesterday/ You’ve got to let it be.’ An early version of the song ended with the last yeah yeah yeah echoing the final lines of She Loves You, but Maja deemed that just a bit too much. 

There’s some big furore about who’s going to be in the band. Will it be the original lineup? But really, the whole thing is about Liam and Noel getting back together. For me, it would be nice if Bonehead was there too, but as Noel has said many times, Oasis is the two of them and anyone else in the other slots. Apart from the original five, thirteen other people have been in Oasis over the years, making a total of 18. So if you’re not going to get the stone cold original Definitely Maybe lineup, and you’re not, what does it really matter? Yeah. It’s really all about Liam and Noel. And Bonehead (my opinion). Also for me, I’d love it if Guigs played bass. Would really truly love it if Tony McCarrol got up and played a song or two a la Steven Adler. I really don’t see it. But Bring It On Down would just be perfect. Just for that one song. To have the whole band back together. Again, I really don’t see it happening. But really for drums, it has to be Alan White doesn’t it? Although when I saw them it was Zak Starkey and he was amazing. Ringo Starr’s son. Bringing Oasis and The Beatles totally together. But really, after what follows in here, I think most people couldn’t care less who plays on the bill. After all the fuss and excitement, couldn’t care less anymore that this thing is even happening. We’ll get to that.

For now, this is a huge deal for Maja who’s never seen them. It’s still a big enough deal for me too, even though I have seen them. Twice. But to be fair, both those shows for me were in the later 2000s so no, I never saw them in their mid to late 90s prime. I almost, almost went to Glastonbury in 1995, just as they were approaching their zenith and just a few months before Morning Glory came out. And I still can’t figure out how I missed going to the epochal Knebworth. I was living near Manchester at the time, was all over the bar and club scene, and just about the only things you ever heard anywhere you ever went was Oasis and The Stone Roses. And yes, of course all the other Britpop stuff was bubbling around everywhere too. So how did Knebworth manage to pass us all by? By us all, I mean all my friends at the time too. Not only did I not go, but I don’t remember anyone talking about going to it. At all. Either before or after. I have no idea. But we’re totally on this reunion tour thing. 

The only problem is, half the world (away) and its mother also is. We do the whole thing. Register for tickets, get ourselves on the pre sale ballot, sign up with the ticket sites. That all happened yesterday in anticipation of sale day today. Oh, this is exciting. We were a little disappointed to miss out on the whole pre-sale thing but that’s OK. Up early this morning and let’s log on as soon as the sale begins. Oh, we’re so on this.

The only problem is, half the world and its mother also is.

First thing in the morning we’re in the queue. Guess what.

Yes.

You are number 126,879 in the queue. OK, I made that number up, but yes, deep in the hundred thousands. Oh OK. Let’s see how this goes. There’s what? Fifteen stadium shows across the UK to aim at. Of course we’d prefer Wembley Stadium, what with us being in London and all that, but we can spread it out, right? That’s the plan anyway if our chosen venue sells out by the time we get there.

Right now you might be thinking how long it takes to get to the front of a queue when you’re being well over a hundred thousand people. 

We don’t sit and stare at the screen and watch it happen, although yes we do keep up with it. More, we just get on with our Saturday hanging around the apartment, watching a movie and stuff, but making sure not to go out. We do need to at least stay on top of this thing. 

Now, to get to the answer of how long this takes. Around eight hours. Eight hours and we’re into single figure thousands. Which, bizarrely, feels like a really small queue. For a further hour we watch with some fascination as it winds through the thousands and then unbelievably into triple figures. Somewhere in the mid thousands we stop the movie ane watch, transfixed as it goes down, down, down. Triple figures, then double, then. Then. Then. Single. Actually single. Eight people in front of us. We’re at the computer and waiting. All required details at our fingertips. Then, incredibly, almost impossibly, it ticks down to just one. We’re up next. Yes, this is adrenilly. Then it happens. We’re in and we can select tickets. We’re actually in. Then it happens. What? What? What? Is our disbelieving reaction to what we see. The advertised price of around £150 per ticket has more than doubled and yeah, that 150 was damn high to begin with. But this is Oasis, Maja’s never seen them and they are kinda our band. A little more on that later. But for now, we’re absolutely stunned and Maja is heartbroken. No. Just no. We are not paying that. It was a stretch to start with. But this? Due to high demand they say. High demand? High demand? The biggest band of their era, the defining band of their era, has got back together after 15 years of, it will never happen, and demand took people so much by surprise that the prices had to go up? No. Just. NO. An absolute disgrace. An absolute farce. Never have I seen so much goodwill and overall feelgood vibes evaporate into badwill and recrimination so quickly. Everyone involved should hang their heads in shame so that they can look down and see that little bit clearer how much money has pooled all around their ankles. Oh damn this is dirty. I’m very sorry to say, but Oasis feels just a little bit more sullied now. The event everyone was so jubilant and excited about yesterday has become a bitter, disillusioning experience. Literally over night, something so good, so joyous, so celebrated, has become something dirty, disdained and, yes, disowned. Well done everybody.

RIght. If I’m not going to tell this now I probably never am. What a perfect opportunity to talk about the time when I was working in a bar and I looked after Liam Gallagher and his table of, I’m remembering, around 10 people. They were on our biggest table on a Sunday so there must have been a lot of them. I think enough time has passed now to talk about this encounter. Damn that was a busy day. One of the busiest and most stressful I’ve ever worked through in a bar. Sunday Fathers Day, 2019. We had an inkling it would be a big one. So much so that the day before the assistant manager Duran, who I had a great relationship with, asked if I’d be OK to be called to come in early if it all really kicked off. I said yes I would, and said if I saw I had a call from the bar I would assume it was because everything was on fire and so wouldn’t even answer as that would waste time. Instead, I did what I said I would, which was to be ready to leave, just reject the call as soon as I saw it was coming in, and head straight to the bar, which was about a 10 minute walk from my house. I walked into absolute chaos and a massively grateful and relieved Duran who said she’d totally forgotten my suggested tactic of the night before and thought I’d just rejected the call and not thought to come in. That, and to see Liam Gallagher sitting at our biggest table. As soon as I entered, I sprang straight into action, throwing myself anywhere and everywhere to help get things under control. That was impossible. But at least I helped hold our heads above water. Oh, who am I kidding? The place was a mess. The one time it actually did fall apart like you feel it can sometimes, but somehow it just about manages to stay together. Today was the day it actually did fall apart. So much so that Duran even had to leave the whole thing to me being in charge as she felt she had to help out in the kitchen. In all my time in bars and restaurants, you’re talking fewer than five times that I ever saw any floor personnel have to do that. And only once did I ever see any kitchen staff come out and work the floor. That was when I managed to slice right through my hand while cutting a loaf of bread and so couldn’t possibly deliver plates of food to anyone. The blood pouring out of my hand was almost unstoppable.

Digressed.

The point being, in all this, Liam’s table had to wait possibly the longest I’ve ever seen a table have to wait for desserts. So long in fact that the next party for their table arrived for their booking and I had to be the one to go and ask/tell The Liam actual Gallagher could he and all his family and friends please leave this table and go and sit outside in the garden. Yep. I had to ask/tell Liam Gallagher to leave my pub. But in the best possible way and he was so so understanding and brilliant about it. And you know, through all this thing, when his table had so many things go wrong because it was just the worst day ever in there, and they would have had every right to feel aggrieved and to have voiced that quite strongly, I didn’t hear one complaint. Not to any of us, and neither did I even hear a word of complaint or disquiet pass between them. I’m sure words were said and eye rolls made, and all totally justifiably. But I didn’t see or hear a hint of irritation, blame or castigation. Then, out in the beer garden – I could almost have got on my knees in thanks to the weather that day – I heard him talking about how much he really liked the pub. And, once the people at the newly vacated table had settled, he went out of his way to go inside and talk to and spend a little time with them. And during all the chaos of the day, he also took interest in talking to me, asking where I was from and telling me two or three times that he really loved and appreciated the job I was doing. If anything, I was the rude one. Answering questions as briefly as I could and really trying to get away as quicky as I could. Everywhere I looked, it felt that day, something somewhere was on fire and I had to go and put it out. Sorry Liam. I just didn’t have the time. What I was quite happy about myself with was that, like every other famous person who ever came in – apart from Damian Lewis one time, but that really is another story – not once during that whole day did I ever let on that I even vaguely recognised him and I really like to think he clocked that and appreciated that. Because of course he knew that I knew who he was. He even knew that I knew that he knew that I knew that he knew that I knew who he was. You know? Basically, the guy and all his company was an absolute pleasure to deal with as customers. He played no large cards at all at all. I don’t think I ever even heard his voice above the general chatter of the bar. He just sat, chilled and enjoyed like everyone else in there that day. And, apart from a massively star struck colleague who just had to get a photo with him before he left, I don’t think I saw one person approach him or bother him.