Category: The London Diary: Camden

The London Diary: Camden

Day one

Monday July 10

We really are seeing the difference between the Ireland to London move and the inter London one. Apart from anything else, not having to put anything in storage to move later, meaning it’s all been done in one weekend and two trips. Which means we’re able to get this place looking like almost like a home by sometime early to mid afternoon. It also helps that Maja’s taken today off so we’re both on it from first thing in the morning.

The plan for this place shapes up like we thought it would with the bedroom and then a living room/studio situation. And being out of the city city, we’ve got clear sky outside our windows rather than looming buildings. So it all feels more open and private. Yes. This is all really starting to feel like home already.

Day two

Tuesday July 11

Today is the last official day of us having the Shoreditch apartment, and with that, and with us all fully moved out and in now, I go and return the keys. I also have to return to the apartment during this little errand because we forgot to do a final meter read, so I get to enter the apartment and see it exactly as we saw it on the first day we moved in and caught our first sight of it. Except this time there isn’t even any initial luggage to drop on the floor. So it’s just a cold, hard, white space. A space we really did manage to turn into a home. I’m in and out without sentimentality. Functional. Take the reading. Leave. Double lock the door. Leave the building. Return the keys to where they came from. That’s it. Time to go home.

Day three

Wednesday July 12

For the first time since we arrived in Camden we go out for a drink with no obligations. All our admin is done. The place is basically set up. We’ve been on this everyday for the better part of two weeks. I suggest The Earl Of Camden, which is a wide open sports bar with basic bar food. And the last of the day of Wimbledon is on with subsequent highlights. Perfect. But we don’t take much of it in. Instead, we sit in stunned, relieved exhaustion. The job is done. And it has been really hard and totally wiped us. We order food and when it comes we just sit in silence and eat. That action in itself takes all our energy and focus. Right now, we really do not have anything left to give. But in all that, I think is, a sense of achievement as well. Of having landed. Of having done it all and finished. And now here we are, with nothing left to have to think about. Oh it is glorious. But this doesn’t feel like a celebration, even if deep inside it is. I think relief is the only word as we sink into the cottonwool embrace of this extended moment. 

Day four

Thursday July 13

We’ve not really explored the local area because, well, unusually for a move, we already know the area pretty well. I mean, it’s Camden. I lived down the road in Kentish Town for six years and me and Maja have been here many times while living in London this time round. And Maja saw it while living in London during the lockdown time prior to the Irish move. But living here offers a whole new perspective and it all feels totally different and even more epic than it did before. Example. We head out properly today for the first time. During lunch, so not even a night out. Damn, it’s almost overwhelming. Out of our front door and a minute or two of walking and we’re launched right into the centre of London touristville, walking towards Camden Market along the canal with a whole new leisure area built next to it that wasn’t there last time we were here. Even a carousel now we see. They’d been building this whole complex for ages but we didn’t really know what it was. Now we see an open plan, multi level series of shops and bars all right next to the canal and lock, which you can also still very much walk beside in today’s glorious sunshine. So practically a whole new little town has sprung up here and we don’t possibly have time to explore it now. So we just walk through it, take in the busy and bustling canal walk. Then we’re up onto street level and right among the music venues and again, packed streets. Damn. We live here now. This is exhilarating. We’ve kind of emerged near the place where I see Camden as splitting in two. So I’ll veer off from our lunchtime walk and try to give you some kind of introductory overview of Camden Town, and what we’ve moved right into the middle of.

We’re a little way down from the underground, so right by the canal and next to the Stables and market area. The food stalls in here make can often make me think I’m on holiday. Then there are so many other kinds of shops and stalls in this famous area as well, along with a whole other bunch of bars and live venues too – a lot of famous comedy around here as well as music. Among venues here are the famous Dingwalls, and the Lockside Tavern. The street snaking down to our right, is what I consider to be the main strip. It runs parallel to the market places and is lined by a whole load of bars and music venues and is topped off by The Roundhouse at the end as you come to Chalk Farm tube station (in my mind this is Camden North). Along the way you will find The Elephant’s Head, Joes, The Camden Assembly Rooms, Spiritual Bar and The Enterprise, all places that have graced The Diaries in one way or another.

Going back to where we were, just a little way along from Camden tube station, if you walk the other way here, you’re onto more a conventional high street. Mostly shops as that would suggest but also home to a few more bars including The Blues Kitchen and, at the end of the high street, is Koko, almost working in tandem with The Roundhouse to bookend Camden. Just opposite Koko you have Mornington Crescent tube (which I see as Camden South). So, actual factual geography and locals may say otherwise, but as I alluded to above, I see Camden as starting at Mornington Crescent and ending at Chalk Farm.

Then in that middle ground – Camden Town tube –  you’ve got a bunch more places on and around the crossroads, not least The World’s End and the attached Camden Underworld, and then The Electric Ballroom. And we’re still nowhere near finished because leading off from this central point is Parkway leading up to Regents Park. Up on this street you will find The Dublin Castle and The Green Note, as well as the aforementioned Earl Of Camden and the equally forementioned Spread Eagle. Oh, and The Edinboro Castle at the end containing one of the best beer gardens in north London. If this part is coming off the high street, well, it comes off the central point really, then leading off from the same direction from a little way down of what I’m calling the strip is Inverness Street. Another famous outdoor market area lined with a load of internationally themed bars and restaurants, some of which regularly host live music of all different kinds. Then at the end of this street you find The Good Mixer, as we’ve said before, the very centre of Britpop when that was all kicking off in the mid to late nineties, and still home for all types of Camden music lovers. 

All that and I haven’t even mentioned venues like metal bar The Devonshire Arms, or Hawley Arms, a destination for rock’n’rollers from all over London and beyond. The Fiddler’s Elbow, another legendary live music venue. Or the Sheephaven Bay, a wonderful, large, meandering low ceilinged Irish bar great for sport round the back by Mornington Crescent. All these and many more are kind of on their own, away from the main streets I’ve been talking about. Not to mention All About Eve where we’ve played a few open mics, which is again kind of slightly off the beaten track around the vicinity of The Good Mixer. Coming full circle (kind of) back to The Mixer is a pretty good place to stop now I think. And yes. The visual and aural assault of the place can be about as overwhelming as trying to take it all in through the page. Yes. We’re going back home now.

Day five

Friday July 14

Maja: ‘Is it bad I feel I don’t want to go out at all and just stay in tonight?’ Absolutely not. I’m still totally wiped too. And besides. We live here now. We can have that Camden night out whenever we want. Even a quiet one to just pop out and back again.

Day six

Saturday July 15

A day trip out to Hammersmith Ikea for a few bits for the new apartment. On the way back, from the top of our double decker bus as it winds down Kensington High Street, we see an unusual and striking sight. We rush our phones out to try to photograph it but the bus moves and and damn it’s gone. But then I check. Oh oh oh. I got it. I had no idea. This is album cover level material. With that, we attach a title with it. It’s a great title. But now we have to write a song to go with it. Just the title song to sit above everything else we’ve earmarked for album number two and to make sure we can actually legitimately use this incredible shot. So no pressure.

Later we decide to head out for dinner somewhere in Camden. We kind of have our eye on an all you can eat Chinese place we checked out during our walk on Thursday. We get round the corner from our place and hear a sharp, surprised cry. ‘Mark!’ ‘Mark!’ I look around and it’s Ivano. My great Italian friend who hardly has a word of English in his vocabulary. He pops over from Italy from time to time and here is now, having popped right in front of us. Oh wow. OK. We have a joyous hug, then I introduce him to Maja. Well, we’re right in front of The Devonshire Arms now so it would be rude not to. Dinner plans postponed, we go in there now for a drink and a catch up. Or as catch up as you can when your friend barely speaks a word of English. But somehow me and Ivano manage to make it work. We always have, although Maja is a bit bemused. But you know, you hear about couples who get together without being able to speak each others’ languages. I’m sure they get there. I’ve never understood that but I know it’s a thing. Well, that’s how it is with me and Ivano. It helps that he loves metal and has seen me play in Cris’ metal band Wild Child, but hey, communication has to start somewhere.

 A few pints in here, then we invite Ivano to join us at the Chinese place, which he very happily does. Yes, it really is fantastic. Then we’re off and planning to go to The Blues Kitchen. Until we discover you have to pay to get in on Saturdays. Oh well. So we go across the road to The Camden Head instead. Where the three of us happily hang out by the bar, then me and Maja decide to dance about the place during which time we manage to engage a few different tables who rise to our energy. When we leave they’re eager to say goodbye and we feel it appropriate to go and say hello properly briefly and to give them cards. So we’ve not even played a gig but we’ve still managed to make an impression and been able to introduce ourselves a little. Now it’s time to head off home. But not for Ivano. No. He’s carrying on into the night, all infused with a bright new energy. We say a very happy goodbye and leave him to it. 

Day seven

Sunday July 16

Right. That Edinburgh thing. We’d decided to sleep in the car, but didn’t really know what that looked like. Well, Maja’s been collecting ideas and has found a way to turn the little Toyota into a lovely little bedroom, complete with mattress. Kind of like a metal tent. Yes. We have a look and we really think this is going to work. Now all we have to do is join that national gym we were thinking of so we can have access to showers. It has a branch right in Camden. We’ll do that sometime during the week and then we’ll be all set.

Remember we promised Matt pizza and beer out for helping us with the move? Well that happens tonight as we first invite him to the apartment to see it now we’re all properly moved in, then we head out to a bar and do the full pizza and beer thing. But we’re not done after that. It’s Sunday. Time to do the thing we haven’t done since we moved back from Ireland. Blues Kitchen jam. And yes there are a few very surprised faces and really cool little reunions when we walk in. Not too many regulars around tonight, but Joe and Adam of the house band are here. And Aristo, and a few general people I would have seen around a lot in years past without knowing that well. But everyone likes to see a familiar face after a while too, so that’s also great. And yes, I get to do my thing on the stage again as Adam, host for tonight, invites me up when the time comes. I don’t get to play with Matt tonight but you can’t have everything. It’s just so cool to be in here and playing on that stage again and having the hang. And for Maja to see it all in full flow again. With us being more on the original burn now, I don’t see this as being a weekly thing like it was back when, but for a jump back in now and then, definitely. Especially as we live just a few minutes’ walk away now. This little jaunt tonight has inspired Maja to start thinking about learning a blues song or two to sing so that we can go up together and just so that she can have a go on that stage too. No idea when or if that will happen, but we do now have it written on a mental card somewhere.

Day eight

Monday July 17

It’s a thing in many parts of London to put your unwanted items out on the street for people to pick up if they want. Sometimes with a sign on electrical stuff saying, ‘This works.’ Today we head away from Camden Town and into the genteel back streets during lunch. Along the way we come across a house that looks like it’s being internally renovated. They’ve put a bunch of stuff outside including a fridge and some other bits and pieces. Among it all is a print of a painting of the Gallagher brothers of Oasis. If I hadn’t said Oasis, what other Gallagher brothers would you have been thinking of right now? Maja’s all over it. We’re having that. It looks fantastic and will look even fantasticker on one of our walls. It also proves quite a conversation piece when we stop at a fast food stand as we’re getting closer to home. The guy who runs it is super friendly and we really get talking about all things music as he prepares our order. When Maja passes him a card and he discovers what we do, he tells us about a friend of his who runs a few cafes who he thinks would love to have us play. OK. A good heads up. Worth a shot. We’ll go and say hello when we get the chance. Leads on gigs from the guy at the streetfood stand. Yep. This is Camden.

The only minor niggle to that is that we’re really not thinking of gigging or open mic-ing too much right now as we concentrate on preparation for Edinburgh. We’re in the process of consolidating all of our repertoire to make sure we can play any song at any moment while also trying to finish a few others we’d quite like to have. Whether or not we actually play or fully learn any of the new ones isn’t a massive deal, but we would just like to give ourselves the best chance of maybe adding one or two of them. And, newsflash. We’re back in the studio trying to get back on track with the album which got taken massively off track all the way back in October or something last year, culminating in the move to London. Which took us even further off track of thinking about the album. So much of it is done, but there is still so much more left to do. But now we’re on it, or at least reconnecting with the studio. But of course, there will then be the Edinburgh period so we’ll be off it again. But it is cool to have it back on our agenda and back on our horizon again.

Day 11

Thursday July 20

Out and about in Camden early evening and Maja gets her first look at The Good Mixer. Not everyone I’ve taken to this place has taken to it. It certainly isn’t for the shy and retiring. I’m just delighted it’s still here after lockdown and all that. Not just still here, but still recognisably The Good Mixer. On the face of it an old style pub with a clear love of music and pool. And when you get into it, it’s a wonderful old style pub with a clear love of music and pool. Maja loves it instantly. Just the one in here today. We will be back.

Day 13

Saturday July 22

We return to The Good Mixer for a Saturday night out and if Maja loved it before, well. DJ tonight and the music is just spot on. Full of guitars, 90s classics and punk favourites. We spend a lot of time on the impromptu dancefloor tonight. Yep. It’s that kind of place. 

Day 14

Sunday July 23

Apart from last night’s trip out, we’ve also been prepping the car for Edinburgh this weekend. Which has meant paying for a secluded, off street car parking spot in Camden, then getting a great bargain on a second hand mattress. It just so happens that the small car park is out the back of our apartment so that’s handy. With that we have of course had to collect the car from it’s zone four parking spot which we did yesterday. Been a very wet weekend but with the mattress fitting perfectly first time, we’ve not had to do as much work or experimentation or prep as we thought. It’s seats down, mattress in. Oh, it fits. That’s where our stuff can go. OK. Can’t bring too much of it. But yeah. We have this. That job done, we take the mattress back the apartment and return the car to a different home in zone four.

Day 18

Thursday July 27

Into The Mixer again tonight, just for a quick one. But yeah. We’re starting to become a little familiar with people now. At least slight nodding terms now. Yeah. This is starting to become our place a little bit. I’d hoped and secretly thought it would.

Day 21

Sunday July 30

A quiet weekend this time. Punctuated by a late night Sunday walk around the more exclusive Chalk Farm/Primrose Hill area. And Maja gets her first proper look at this far end of Camden. A whole bunch of music venues all clustered across the road from The Roundhouse. Some may not still be music venues, but there does seem to be a continuing healthy presence. I’m sure we’ll get a deeper look in time. Then we veer sharply left across an imposing and striking industrial bridge to find ourselves in an area with a totally different feel. Far more gentrified and seemingly quiet. For those who may want to live a little gentler but still be in and around Camden. Or not; also in the vicinity are Belsize Park, Hampstead and the satellite areas of Regents Park. Upmarket London. If you keep walking past Primrose Hill and beyond, you come to Lords Cricket Ground, the home of English cricket, and then Abbey Road studios. Spiritual home of a certain band you may have heard of. But we won’t dip our toes in any of those hallowed waters today. Instead, we take in the genteel environs of the neighbourhoods of Primrose Hill, then head back to deepest Camden. Oh, we were totally planning on walking up Primrose Hill itself. It offers views of London from around here rivalled only by Hampstead Heath – which I think has a better view. But this place is still a cool park to have nearby. But as we enter, a kind gentlemen stops us and says the place will be closing soon. Apparently they do that now. A pretty recent development. Oh well. Next time.

Day 24

Wednesday August 2

New Song Day. Oh I love New Song Day. Shall I tell you what it is? Not sure. Anyway, that’s what today is and me and Maja are deep in it and doing all the learning and all that kind of stuff. When Matt calls. Our friend Woodie has a gig tonight. Apparently he’s accompanying a couple of female singers in two different sets down a bar in Soho, just down the road from Ain’t Nothin But… We had plans to go to the gym. Oh, look at us. But NSD smashed straight into that. We were still thinking about it but, Soho night out. Strong willed individuals we are, we said of course we’d go. We’ll leave in 20. This being our first time downtown since we moved to Camden, this is a chance to see how long it takes door to door. Well, the bus stop is right out side our front door. The required bus wait time was two minutes. Just over 15 minutes after that we were pulling up right by Oxford Circus tube, a few minutes’ walk from the venue. So about 20 minutes. That was fun. 

Tonight’s gig is at a bar called The Coffee House. I’ve never been. I really should have. This is a great place. A really traditional English pub feel right in central London and they’re up for having this cool music event in here. And a load of Blues jam and general London music scene regulars have turned out. It’s just a full on general mingle. Me, Maja and Matt kind of coalesce every now and then, loosely around a table somewhere in the middle. And from that we keep shooting off in our own directions talking to him, talking to her, talking to them. Some of them we know, some of them we don’t. And one or two people I’m catching up with for the first time since late 2019. Yep. That four years give or take thing again. Inside, outside, front of stage, back of the bar. Oh, we’re just all over. No-one moreso than Maja. Probably no-one moreso than Maja in the whole place. She moves around effortlessly and effervescently chatting to just about everyone she feels like and everyone chats back. Some of them are on the music scene, some of them aren’t. Unlike me and Matt, she really doesn’t even know anyone round here just to see. Then she introduces me to a few people she’s connected particularly well to, and I chat to them too. This is how you do it. And we may also well be bumping into a few of tonight’s new people around the place in other London venues. Maybe even in here again. I think we’ll be back here. What a cool discovery. How did I never know about this place? And of course Woodie himself. Always good for a hang. And just brilliant at holding down those guitar parts and generally being a fantastic stage presence as he vibes with the girls who also give fantastic performances of pop and rock covers with just about the whole place getting involved and singing along. Just a real, total feelgood night. Then, when it’s all over and it’s time to say our goodbyes and leave, we’re home within half an hour. 

Day 27

Saturday August 5

We were initially thinking of leaving for Edinburgh today, but I suggested that Maja might not want to work Friday, then make the long drive immediately the next day. Good point, she says. So Sunday it is. But then we get to preparing today. Oh wow. How is there always so much to do? Seriously. It takes us almost the whole day. So much so that towards early evening, Maja is starting to suggest that maybe we even think about leaving Monday. No no no. We have this today. But it really is touch and go for a while there. Why and how is there always so much to do whenever we go away?

Day 28

Sunday August 6

Up, car packed, and out on the road by a little after 10am. Really not too bad at all. Now Maja gets a bit more of a look of the geography of the UK with a first hand perspective as we drive up the east side of the country and catch glimpses of some of the towns and cities as we pass them. Nottingham, Sheffield, Leeds. Then we’re closing in on Newcastle which we bypass with the city on our right. And there’s The Angel Of The North. The first time I’ve ever seen it.  The huge open armed statue welcoming you to the north east just as you’re coming to Gateshead, the city across the river from Newcastle. Past this, there are no other major settlements and you’re still another hour from the border. I really did not know this. But here we are now passing through the spectacular Northumberland National Park which, and I didn’t know this either, creates the natural border between Scotland and England. This is ridiculously hilly area. Almost roller-coaster like in its construction. Weeeee. We go down another hill after reaching a crest to discover a stomach rising drop. This makes each new rise a whole other adventure as you ponder the mystery of what might be on the other side. Weeeeee. Oh, that. Brilliant. Again. Let’s go again. And this is how we joyfully travel into Scotland where the scenery becomes even rougher, wilder, and more mountainous. All I can think about is what any prospective invading armies through the ages must have been thinking, having to march up and down all these hills before even beginning to engage with any enemy at the end of it all. You just wouldn’t bother would you? But it’s OK for us. We have the perfect music to accompany this wonderfully unfolding sight all around us as we drop in Slayer’s Reign In Blood album. Oh yes. This is what that was made for. Perfect wake you up music after a long countryside drive. Because yes, for some reason, digital maps and all that has seen us do most of this without the benefit of a motorway so it’s been fantastic scenery all the way. 

Through all this, we arrive in Edinburgh just before 9pm and begin threading towards our destination. The place we’re going to be calling home for the next two weeks or so. A multi-storey car park. It’s perfect. I’m really not messing. It’s indoors and out of the wind and rain, and even relatively warm – well, it is the height of summer, but it’s also Scotland so, you know. And it’s well lit. Until we find our spot, I totally hadn’t thought about this. The whole getting in and out of the car business, and maybe being all wet and stuff with rain lashing down on you while the wind has a go as well. Maja says she really had considered this. So yeah. This is a great idea, something she came up with a few days ago when talking to a colleague who knew Edinburgh. He said we should think about this place. A good price for 24 hour parking, CCTV so at least you have a burglar deterrent, and it’s bang in the centre of the city. And very close to the nationwide gym we became members of back in Camden for the very reason of wanting shower and other facilities here. 

We have a drive around the place  – it’s alarmingly full so it takes a while – and find the perfect spot that someone is just backing out of as we arrive. It feels almost built for us. Not just a parking space, but a parking space with walls either side of it. And natural light above with a street level grate just up there. We’re not backing onto another wall either. Nope. We’ve got an open barrier there, with another barrier a few feet across from it to the other side of the carpark with a bit of a drop between them. Which makes this back area feel private and open at the same time. Well, let’s get to it. Let’s turn this car into a home. Seats down, mattress unfurled, windows all covered with this fantastic magnet lined sheeting Maja found online. We have tiny torches tied to strategic areas inside, all our bags on the front seats and then cloth bags either side of the car inside for all the little daily nik-naks we might want to find instantly at any time. Shower and gym bags easily accessible in the front as well. We really are good to go in here. The car will now stay here and like this for our entire stay. That took about an hour. All settled, time to go out, and have a look at this city we’ve found ourselves in. We’re not massively looking to really get into the festival vibe, or really go on a voyage of discovery. There’ll be plenty of time for that over the next few weeks. Our mission now is just to find some food and then think about the after after. 

But even for the after, we really don’t have that many thoughts. We’re just planning on taking the festival in – maybe a show or two – hustling around bars and essentially, just being. The absolute ideal would be finding a bar we could play in more or less daily, but let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves here. One hustle at a time and see where it takes us. One of our thoughts is that we could fit in between different shows bars have to keep the vibe going. Anytime we play, we feel we only really need two or three songs to make an impact, then leave and next place. Really, one song is enough. Bang. Audience hit. Done. And with us having such a small setup, we’re confident we can find people who’ll be up for us doing our thing. 

While walking around we come across a bar called Whistle Binkies. This is one of the four bars we were recommended to try by the guy who suggested we come to Edinburgh in the first place. We’ve found our post dinner drinks place. Apart from anything else, it just looks immediately cool with the entry from the street being little more than a doorway. From there, it’s all downstairs and into an old style wooden floored cavernous area split in two. The large bar room, then a kind of threshold which is clearly curtained off at times, which leads to an equally large area with a big stage at the end. Yes. It appears we have stumbled into one of Edinburgh’s coolest grassroots venues. Even better, we see that they have an open mic tomorrow night. We ask the bar staff about it and are told the sign up time and also advised to be in early because there is a lot of demand for this one. Great. Noted. Will be done. Right. Show number one sorted.

Now it’s time to go home. Or, at least to the car. For the first night of actually sleeping in this arrangement we’ve made. It really is comfortable and cosy. Until we have one thought after a few pints. Yeah, we have already talked a little about this and have come prepared. We had some small bottles of water for the journey here and apparently they’re recyclable. Well, we’re about to recycle them in a slightly different way than was intended. Ladies and gentlemen. I introduce you to…the fun funnel. Like I said. We came prepared.

As we settle in for this first night of sleeping in the car, we know we are now on the verge. After all the talk, planning and then actually preparing, we have arrived and settled. We are full of anticipation for tomorrow. Would excitement be too far? Maybe, but oh go on then. We are about to do Edinburgh. One night’s sleep here and then it begins. We are about to announce ourselves to the current most happening entertainment hotspot in the world.

Day 29

Monday August 7

Maja wakes me with a start. We have to go to the gym. Now. No cosy slowly wakey time. No cup of tea – well, we couldn’t do that anyway. And no fun funnel. Because, well, it’s daytime now and there’s no fun funnelling in potential public. We’ve decided. So this is how we have to do this. We have to get up, get dressed and out. And go to the gym. Now. Right now. 

As we’ve now warmed up, so has the day, and we find we’ve planted ourselves right in the middle of everything, and it all resembles something of an urban Glastonbury. There are posters for various theatre and comedy shows everywhere, and every few minutes someone wants to put a flyer in your hand and tell you all about their show that starts in five minutes. Adding to the overall holiday-ee festivally vibe is the abundance of colourful street food trucks. As I’m taking all this in, Maja says something that ends up being an ominous foreshadowing. None of the posters overlap. We are about to embark on a day during which we will find out exactly what that means.

But first, and I really should have known this already, I’m stunned by how small Edinburgh is. I knew it was an anomaly in that it’s the capital of Scotland but not the biggest city – that’s Glasgow. But I had no idea how much smaller than Glasgow it was. Which is handy because it means we can take in pretty much the whole festival area in one substantial walking session. That’s a relief because we’ve had some quite destructive hustle sessions and were very conscious of using that experience considering the hustle here could last a few weeks. Don’t blow it in the first day or two. Maybe you remember the Dublin hustle we did last year while carrying all our gear the whole time. It took weeks to properly physically recover from that. This time we’ve decided not to take all our gear. We’re bringing the guitar for possible instant opportunities, but we’re not thinking of this as totally a Now Hustle. We think we can arrange things, so we can then pick up what we need from the car. We’ve even brought our full two speaker and backdrop set-up incase we manage to pull any slightly bigger shows. But out on the street, guitar aside, we’re not massively encumbered.

I’ve thought a lot about how to approach writing this next bit and have decided not to go through it all hustle by hustle.

I won’t name any venues because I’m sure they’re great and that the people we speak to are lovely, but they have absolutely no interest in engaging with us. We are met with something bordering on hostility. Polite and smiling it may be, but we very much feel it all the same. Seriously. We’ve done this in a whole bunch of countries and have mostly been met warmly, often even when being turned down, and as we’ve got better at all this, even the being turned down has reduced; we once did over 10 hustles in a row with a positive outcome; it may have possibly been 15 or so but we lost count. But here? In festival, live entertainment party land? It’s just harsh. And totally, totally closed. I’ve never encountered such closedness at all. Steel. Total steel. I struggle to find the right word but then I think I do. It’s as though we’re actually offending people by approaching them in this way and that we haven’t gone through the proper channels. Right. Give me the proper channels argument all you want. But if you do, you have to show me an act that ever got anywhere without some kind of cavalier attitude. Or attitude at all really. And really, is there anything out of line at all about coming to a festival – A FESTIVAL – thinking you can hustle a little?

To that, we discover that the big sin we’ve committed is to have not booked with the official festival organiser who would then have assigned us bars and shows. Or something like that. That’s it. If you haven’t got themselves on their lists, your name’s not down and you are definitely, absolutely, not coming in. I’m doing it again and I’m not apologising. We’re at a festival. An actual festival. With almost every bar having entertainment. But we’ve never encountered such a totally closed, ‘No’, environment. Nothing even comes close. We were warned – almost to the point of verbal violence – about attempting what we did in Ireland. Smashed it. We were told, with no intransigence whatsoever, that what we wanted to do would be totally impossible in The Hague. We played four shows in the one day we were there. But here. In the current centre of the universe of live entertainment and free spirit. Our names are not down and we are totally not welcome to come in. As we get rejection after rejection, barely able to get our pitch out, we take each one with good grace and move onto the next. Again. We’ve learned this from experience. You will be rejected. Sometimes people will even be horrible. Try not to take it personally, thank them for their time and move to the next one with no lingering feeling of resentment. For a start and in all fairness, they owe you nothing and you’re smashing into their day and time with no invitation or welcome whatsoever. So I totally get it. Second, the next hustle is brand new. It all starts again and must be met with all the positivity with which you attempted on that last horrible one which tried to smash all positivity out of you. Believe me. I’ve felt it. Gone out onto the street all angry indignation. It’s not conducive to good vibes and a continuing good hustle day. And no, I’m still not totally impervious and may well have those moments again but we’ve got better. And I’ve got to say, that if nothing else, our experience here today shows we really have got better at this as we leave each venue with a renewed spring in our step, and are able to shake off most of any bad feeling before even reaching the door. How’s that for taking the positives out of such a day? But the weight does begin to, well, weigh. We do get the one tiniest bit of a something when we hustle the guy who owns Whistle Binkies when we unwittingly try to hustle another bar he owns. He says the bar we’re in right now is mainly a sports bar and that all the music happens in WB, where he’s happy to hear that we’re playing tonight. He then points us in the direction of an outside venue and says they could be receptive. We go across the road and do our thing and are told the manager isn’t around but could well be happy to hear from us tomorrow. But when we look back at the place we’ve just approached, we conclude it would be at best a background music gig. Not one for the three or four song all balls and energy blast we would be offering. We will not be returning here.

For all our water-off-a duck’s-back-ness, around 5pm we take a break and sit down somewhere to get something to eat. We joylessly chew on burgers that are probably good but, well, who cares, and with something approaching reluctant incredulity, conclude, there’s just no point being here. We are totally wasting our time. We have totally wasted our time. And an enormous amount of effort and charged up positivity and invested energetic excitement. We look at each other and the same thought is just spontaneously there. As obvious as if we’d both just fallen into the same pond. Let’s leave. Let’s play our open mic at Whistle Binkies tonight, then just leave Edinburgh tomorrow. After all that planning and organisation. And yes, anticipatory excitement. I’m repeating myself a little bit now but I couldn’t care less. This has just been the absolute biggest let down and waste of time and effort I think The Diaries have ever been involved in. Listen up everyone. We’re having a festival of entertainment. A wonderful, chaotic, free spirited enterprise. A mecca for entertainers – or so I’ve read it so described at least once. Come one and all. But if you even think about not organising before you get here, just don’t bother. We don’t want your sort here. Fine. We’re getting our coats. 

Oh, another one on that proper channels thing. These things are all email and/or online application. We’ve done so many emails and applications and 99 point whatever decimal you want to put in here, no-one ever gets back. Not even people who have specifically requested an email. I’m not saying we’ll never email anyone again, but most of the time by this stage I don’t. I think this is something we just have to do ourselves. Hence the Now Hustling. As different and as lively and as effective a live force as we are, and with the songs to match, not to mention the track record, the world just sees another acoustic guitar/songwriter act, and goes, ‘Great. Just what we need. Another one.’ 

OK. Back with it. If not Edinburgh, then what? Well, before we’d even thought of this we’d been talking about possibly doing a tour of Scotland. We’re here now. Why not do that? Right back to the original plan. Brilliant. Yep. Maja says she’s always wanted to see the famous Loch Ness, around four hours drive from here. So that’s the vague plan. Head up that way, maybe stop and hustle and stay in the vicinity of a venue or two. The apex of the trip will be the enormous Loch Ness, around which we’ll spend a few days maybe. The big plan in all this is to do something we never quite managed in Ireland. Take a trip to an island. A really small one with just one pub. Hustle that pub and of course hopefully play there. Then the trip will be truly replete. Then start to make our way back to London, maybe breaking the trip up into a few more hustle days as we pick our way through a different route through Scotland to the one that brought us to Loch Ness. But before any of that, we have our open mic at Whistle Binkies.

This planning of a tour has been a lovely way to use the time between deciding we were no longer doing Edinburgh to arriving at the time to head off to whatever tonight is going to bring us. We’ve also been intermittently texting with our Edinburgh friend and he says he thinks he’ll make it down tonight. Not only does he totally come through with that, but he brings a huge surprise. One of Maja’s London colleagues, and a guy I’ve also hung out with, who just happens to be a massive music fan and who also just happens to be in Edinburgh right now. Amazing. So, me and Maja have got ourselves on the list. We’re going to be first, as soon as the full live band finishes, which is warming up the room very nicely. While that’s happening, the four of us hang back and hang out in the bar area. Then, when the band finishes we make our way to somewhere near the front of the stage area.

A little after 10pm and the open mic begins as sound technician and open mic organiser Nico calls us to the stage. This is a similar setup to what we experienced that time in Hamburg when again the event was run by a sound engineer. That guy pretty much kept himself to sound duties and just told people when it was there time to go up and had very little involvement with on-stage duties. You know, saying nice things about the act coming up or going off. Engaging with the crowd. That sort of thing. No. That wasn’t that guy’s sort of thing. And neither is it Nicos. But he does run a very tight open mic, and you can see he’s really running around to make it work the best it can, and then he really, really makes sure the stage and any act on it has the best sound possible. As a result, if you’re just casually watching, it just seems as though things are magically running themselves extremely smoothly with no hitches and a great sound. There’s a reason it appears like that and his name is Nico. From somewhere out in the room – I only hear him through the monitors, I have no idea where he is, he runs us through a quick on stage sound check. Here, I smash the guitar like I mean it. This is no basic line check. This is someone who has no idea what we sound like so he has to be given a solid representation of what he’ll have to work with. So I just hit that E chord hard and rhythmically. Already people are starting to take notice with some even moving a little to what I’m playing. Is that anticipation I see? Maybe. Afterall, the room is packed. This is Edinburgh. And the two people on stage have never been here before, are facing a roomfull of festival strangers and acting like they live in here. That kind of confidence makes an audience feel confident. They know that, whatever is about to come out of those speakers, the people about to do it look like they know what they’re doing. They’re not yet fully on our side, but they look like they would like to be. That still depends on us taking that final transaction over the line by giving them something they can get behind. We’ve come prepared. We’re going to begin with one of our what we’ve come to call Room Owners. We have a lot of them by now. Songs that make you sweat. Then a good number of mid tempo bouncers, a few real strong singer/songwritery sing alongers, and a handful of slow laid backers. Tonight we’re going for two Room Owners. We’re going to open with Make Me Shine, then we’re going to hit them with I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). 

Make Me Shine is just a pummeler, smasherer of a song. One that people joyfully allow to pound them to the floor and hold them there. At first we think we’re going to just hit it out straight away. There’s no count in to this one. Just Maja shouting ‘Go!’ Then straight into the enormous, celebratory chorus followed by its infections singalong chant. An instant double chorus really with vocals and guitar immediately all in at the same time. Like you’re dropped straight into the middle of a song that didn’t want to wait an extra split second for you to get comfortable. Oh, you weren’t ready? Too late. It’s already happening and you’re here with absolutely no say in the matter. So yeah, we don’t go straight into it. Instead, Maja decides she wants to say something. The crushing disappointment of a closed city has meant that we can now claim the kudos of having traveled all the way here from London and then slept in the car purely for the purpose of playing this open mic tonight. And Maja uses every bit of it. Just mentioning the fact that we have come from London tonight pulls up a huge cheer. We haven’t played a note and she has made them already ours. ‘Go!’ And we’re off and the crowd is truly and instantly launched. We’ve started on the stage – we did have a bit of a discussion about whether to do that or not – but by the time we reach chorus part two we’re heading out onto the floor to get right into the whites of our audience’s open and eager eyes. By now we have people clapping along and it seems the people out there are starting to crowd in a little more. Oh yes. We have them. There are huge smiles from people with that smile being part bemusement, part entertainment, part, what the hell is happening here, all, oh balls to it, I’m in. And, somewhere in there, they also appear to say, ‘I can’t quite believe this is happening.’ And all among it, people are looking around and seeming to say, ‘Are you getting this too?’ With all that going on, of course when we finish the eruption is spontaneous and deafening. Yes. They were with us. Yes. They are with us now. And yes, they will go with us wherever we decide to go next. Edinburgh is famous for having some of the fiercest grassroots crowds you could ever find. We have walked right into the middle of one and come out with it totally in our hands. It is ours. Again, we were going to smash straight from one song to the other. Instead, Maja decides to do the talky thing again. People are still clapping and cheering when she begins. When she again says, ‘We are The Diaries,’ a cheer goes up again. She strides straight into the middle of the room that she now indisputably owns and declares, ‘We have one more song coming up. Then: ‘So, we traveled all the way here from London yesterday. We slept in our car. We decided. We’re. Doing. Edinburgh. I hope you appreciate it.’ With that, a cheer rises up again. ‘We’ve got two songs. And we’re so happy to be here. The cheer rises higher, with Maja raising a triumphant fist and letting out a cry to join it. Me: ‘Here we go.’ Guitar: ‘One two…one two three four…’ Maja: ‘I. Got something to say to you.’ And we’re off. I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). Halfway through the first chorus and we’re in among the crowd again. With that, I leave her to command centre room while I go out and play right in front of some of the people right at the back, moving around the room and almost from person to person as I do so. She then comes out to meet me and we play just to ourselves there at the back of the room, almost ignoring the audience and seeing only each other as everyone else just watches us do that, knowing they are now the backdrop to us, almost an actual part of the show they are, at the same time, watching. Into the second chorus and people are actually spontaneously screaming out. I mean, really screaming. Then the most magical moment comes. As we fly out of that last chorus and instantly put the brakes on to go into gentle mode. With that, the whole place melts in cheers and applause as they continue to ride our wave. Now I return to the stage, which is all of a sudden the private place to be, as Maja soaks up every last bit of attention in the centre of everybody and everything. Outside and right now, I think the entire Edinburgh Festival is revolving around what we are doing in this room. Then there’s the launch into the second part of the final verse. More screams and more faces of sheer delight and glee. People are even laughing in disbelief, some almost bouncing randomly. Just, how am I supposed to react to this written all over their faces. This is a totally unknown act that has been thrust into their worlds, and all they are seeing is, well, stars. Fully formed. Right in front of their eyes, walked in right out of the Edinburgh night. Then we end. A final shout of I like you better when you’re naked. Then the room truly explodes as people scream to the ceiling as high as they can and the applause goes on and on and on and people keep pulling all their spent breath in and screaming again. Two songs. We’ve been up there less than six minutes. In that time we’ve owned everything and this has been everything we could possibly have wanted from Edinburgh. All the planning, the journeying, the car-ing, the not caring. It’s all been totally worth it because we got to come up to Scotland, right into the middle of Edinburgh festival and do this. We have just put a huge Diary sized mark on the place and I think it’s going to last. When we leave here, our imprint will stay. Only one show. Only two songs. Only six minutes. But yes, we really have out of all of it, pulled out exactly what we came here to do. And have the video that shows it all thanks to our Edinburgh friend who does an amazing job of capturing what we have done here tonight.

Maja finishes by saying that we’re going to be around. And that we are. We go and join our friends who now have somewhere else to be, so it’s a goodbye and thankyou very much as well. As we approach them they are looking at us with a new wonder. They had faith in us I’m sure, but they had no idea that was coming. Last time we were chatting to them, less than ten minutes ago, we were Mark and Maja, two people who apparently fancied themselves as some kind of songwriters. Oh OK. On you go. Aw, ain’t they cute? Now we have returned as stage warriors. As conquerors of Edinburgh. The pivot around which all else turns right now. As we’re talking to them and, indeed, making our way to them, we can barely move a second pace without another congratulatory handshake or back pat. And having said our goodbyes and plonked ourselves gratefully and still breathlessly at the bar, a guy comes up to us who has a lot more to say than well done. He does that too of course, but then his voice goes serious and he says, ‘We need you.’ Which I take to mean – and the course of the subsequent conversation proves me right – that we, the wider world and society in general needs The Diaries. You can Not stop. He says. You Can Not Stop. It may be hard, you may get doors slammed in your face but you absolutely have to keep on going. Wow. Thankyou. We will. There’s no anyone inviting anyone to join anyone. Instead, the three of us kind of spontaneously settle in all together at the bar. And a new part of the evening begins. Through this, he tells us that we are totally new and far ahead of anything anyone else is doing. But, critically, he says, we are not so far ahead of our time as to be over the other side where no-one else can see it or understand it. That is so important, he says. I know what he’s talking about. There are legends who were ahead of their time, never appreciated in their time, and now so revered we can’t imagine a world in which they didn’t exist. But in their world, they almost might as well not have. I’m sure you can come up with your own person or act who could fit into that. No. He says we are out there on the edge. But, very importantly, on the right side of it. Where what we are doing can be seen and understood, and also still have a relation to where we’re coming from. 

Going right back to the early days of Mark’s Diaries, I used to write about all my fantastic encounters and people who would promise this that or whatever the other thing might be. Then, nothing. So I stopped writing about those encounters, deciding I would return to mention them should the thing they spoke about happen, then I could go back in time and talk about the beginning of where it happened. I’m going to break that rule now and say that this guy, who’s been around music a long time himself, tells us he knows of a kind of traveling entertainment setup that we would just fit right into. It sounds something like a circus but without the circus. I can’t quite tell you what it is because I don’t fully understand it myself, but he says he can make a call or two and get us on that particular radar. Brilliant. Why not. And if nothing happens, that could have nothing to do with him. All he can do is make the call. A few days later, with our video of tonight having been sent to him, he says he has. Thankyou very much. Can’t ask for more than that. I’m writing this exactly a month later. September 7 to this day’s August 7. Still heard nothing, and if we don’t, no harm at all. But what a wonderful encounter with someone who has connected with us on such a level. And after all the door slamming we’ve experienced while being here, here is someone who believes The Diaries are important. The Diaries are needed. We, the world, society, needs The Diaries.

With that, the newly anointed most important new band in the whole world goes off to have a date with the fun funnel. We have other parts of the world to visit tomorrow. Tomorrow, the second part of this chapter begins.

For that video, go here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_aNeDdOETg

Day 30

Tuesday August 8

We come out of our morning gym session and are on our way to the car when Maja suggests we just go home instead of driving round Scotland for the next 10 days or so. Sure. Why not? Maybe we can work on the album. Or start gigging properly around Camden and London. Not a bad replacement. So that’s what we do. We turn the car back into a car again, and then we’re off. 

Lunch is a fantastic spot in the small town of Jedburgh right across the road from its spectacular abbey ruins. Then it’s into a charity shop there to buy a few books and then out on the road again. The next stop is the border. We just have to. We get out of the car here into a very windy parking area with the Scottish flag on one side and the English flag on the other, both seeming to compete for which one can rip itself from its pole first. They’re still battling to a score draw by the time we leave. While there, we delight in walking from one country to the other quite a few times. And of course we have to stop and take in the incredible views of nothing but rough and rolling hills all the way to any horizon. After that, it’s time to get back to chasing our horizons.

Day 31

Wednesday August 9

Recovery day. Most of it is spent reading the books we bought in Jedburgh. We bought five. I’ve chosen to read the one about a guy who spent the second world war escaping from POW camps. Maja’s reading a book about international espionage. We didn’t delve into any of these books when we bought them. In the foreword of my book, the author talks about going on a journey to meet one of his sources – at the Edinburgh festival. Maja’s book contains a character who works for Camden council, and has another who lives in Kentish town, where we both lived before our move to Ireland. Even more specifically, that character lives behind Kentish Town station. Which is where I lived when I first properly landed in London. Damn. For that initial ridiculous drama, I refer to you to Mark’s Diaries.

Day 32

Thursday August 10

Oh dear. Maja is starting to feel sick. No idea where that came from. I don’t develop anything. She’s not majorly bad, mainly a sore throat and not much of a voice, certainly not if she really tries to push it. So yeah. For a vocalist intending to do some recording and maybe the odd gig here and there, that’s bad enough. That’s a bit like me getting a papercut on a finger. A minor irritation, if that, for most people. A potential out of action injury for me. And so Maja is. Out of action. Yeah. 

On the drive back we concluded that our overall plan was very basic. Get back to the album and work to get that completed, open mics, and out and about socially in Camden. But with Maja unable to sing and not much more able to talk, nothing much is happening on any of these fronts.

Day 58

Tuesday September 5

Yeah. We’ve fast forwarded all the way to September. Not much happened in August. Just hot hot hot as well. We imagined doing a gig in that heat a few times and we were just, no. We did have an experience in Berlin once playing in very hot weather. Not nice. Not nice at all. So we didn’t really push it. 

There are a few nights out though, the most memorable being a night in The Good Mixer when we get deep into conversation with a guy who’s been around for a long time. He’d seen us around and in here and was curious about us. He loved our story and what we’re doing here and invited us to join him at The Dublin Castle. Great. We were expecting a pint or two with some friends of his. Nope. Straight to the back of the bar and into the live music venue where entry was £15. Not for us. He got waved straight through. Then said, ‘They’re with me.’ In we went too. For a really fantastic punk type band in London from Germany. So yeah. We’re now meeting random people out and about who invite us to cool gigs for free.

And Maja’s also been following in the footsteps of Amy Winehouse and playing pool in The Good Mixer. I’ve not yet made it onto the table myself; unlike Maja, I’ve been put off the queue to play, which can be so long. I think I should just get over that.

Day 69

Friday September 15

This has been on the cards for a long time. Probably since around February when we first realised what we had after a casual listen to a gig from a few months before. I’ll go straight with the headline first. Today we push the button on our first EP. Five songs recorded live in November. At that gig we did at The Canal Turn in Ballymahon. Which resulted from what we thought had been a totally disastrous gig in Athlone. This week we finally got round to downloading it properly from the phone recording and importing that into our studio software so that we could begin the process of, well, processing it. It really is just a basic phone recording of a bar gig. So yeah, we really had to work hard to get it sounding as good as we’ve been able to. What came out at the end of it all was a great look at what the NOW hustles were all about and how they were received. This, for us, is our document of what we achieved in Ireland from scratch with our own songs and our own hit the street and just do it mentality.

The people in the bar that night had no idea we were coming, didn’t know us in any way, and had never heard any of our songs. For that, we would suggest that the audience reaction is the sixth track. People can listen to the songs, yes, and that is really important. But we are also now putting out what our songs and performance do to a room full of people experiencing us for the very first time. And not even a musical audience at that; these are not people who had gone out to see some unknown act with their minds open and expectant. These are people who had just gone down their local for some banter with their mates and then two people came in to play them a bunch of songs they’d written themselves. What happened next? Well, it’s now all there for everyone to see what usually happens whenever we just roll in and pop up. 

The tracklisting:

0:00 I Like You (Better When You’re Naked)

2:50: Six Sense Lover

5:49: Make Me Shine

8:31: Rock’n’Roll Tree

11:40: How You Rock’n’Roll

It’s now on around 30 platforms, including Spotify, which is here:

And here on Youtube:

Day 70

Saturday September 16

After pushing the button yesterday, the EP is now up and live on a few platforms and will be coming up on others over the next few days. Around 30 in all through an online distributor. Apart from that, we are now talking about producing vinyl copies of it as well. Of course we could sell these at gigs, but our main thinking here is to get them into bars and cafes and other places that play vinyl as part of their appeal. A few ifs here, but if they do and if any kind of traction results in a given venue, we prospectively have a place to play with an expectant and ready made audience.

We also push the first button on something else quite significant today. Building a Japanese audience. We’ve been speaking about this for a while. Maja speaks fluent Japanese. Really; people speaking to her without images think she is Japanese. This is a part of our toolkit we’ve been keeping dry for a while, but now, with our first real product out there, it’s time. General livestreams in English will also be happening, but the initial focus right now is Japan. The medium we’re going to use is the livestream through a Japanese platform Maja knows well from her time in Japan. Another bunch of ifs, but if we’re able to build any kind of audience in this way, it could make a Japanese tour viable. We’re under no illusion that this is any kind of quick fix, if it could even be a fix at all. But we’re starting. Then, all we can do, as with anything else, is to keep on and keep on. 

This begins late morning as we set ourselves up in our front room. Maja in front and me behind and off to the side. We bought a cool Camden tube station cushion cover a few weeks ago so that’s on display too. The next idea is to get a big Camden poster and use that as a backdrop. We know exactly what we want. There’s a bridge, right in the centre of Camden, which is adorned with faux graffiti stating: Camden Lock. That’s in reference to the lock of the canal which flows through the area. The actual lock is right inside Camden Market. That bridge and its logo is the backdrop we want.

The live stream is an enormous, exhilarating, joyful success. Although we’re only in our living room, from the very start we perform it as though it’s a gig. It’s late morning here, Saturday night there. Our audience peaks at around 40 with people coming and going, so our total audience is more than that. But what really makes it is the level of engagement and enthusiasm from those who find us, and a healthy number do stay from the moment they find us until the end. In between songs there are sometimes long stretches of conversation as Maja responds to comments that have come in during the songs. Then real time questions and thoughts come in as she speaks and she engages with them too. She introduces me as well, of course, but I generally just stand there and try to look charming. Or rockstar. Or whatever you can look like in your living room on a Saturday morning/afternoon. But yeah. As it goes on, we really do play into the occasion and as the audience involvement increases, that feeling that we are actually playing a live show only gets stronger. The live interactive element is a bit special. All questions and comments are written, and once complete are voiced by whatever female robot does those voices. So during a song, the stream can suddenly start speaking to us. And the other usual emoticon type things you can see during live videos such as love hearts and applause emoticons. We do this for an hour in two chunks of 30 minutes, as that’s the longest single stream you can do. At the end of it we are totally spent. You could say we’ve left it all on the living room floor.

The rugby world cup’s on and we’ve just done a gig. So we’ve done everything. Bar? Why not? The nearest place to us can be seen from the front door to our building. So off we go. Gig at home then off to the bar. Doesn’t it normally go the other way round?

Day 72

Monday September 18

Are we expecting big numbers from the EP? It would be nice but we’re really not. Not straight away anyway. It’s just important and great that we finally have something out there that we can point people to. It’s also a massively significant moment to finally have something we can use to announce to media outlets that we exist. So this week the push will begin to try to get some radio play, at whatever level, and whatever could possibly lead on from that. Then it will be on to more general music media as well. Blogs, podcasts, online magazines, real magazines, newspaper culture/entertainment guides. All of the above local, national and international. Maybe even TV. You just have to keep pushing. It really is an ongoing process, you just have to keep going. We have a story, we have a show, we have the stage presence, and we have the songs. If anything, we think that as much as we are trying to get in touch with these people, they are also on the constant lookout for something like us. It’s just that they’re bombarded with so much all the time, it’s so hard to pick out the sounds from the noise. They’re well aware of that too. All we can do, as I said above, is just keep on keeping on. I don’t think I’ll Diary too much of us putting stuff out. Just assume it’s constantly going on.

Back to the beginning. Do we think The NOW Hustle EP is going to be a hit and make our fame and fortune? No. Do we think it’s a good representation and product with the potential to take us to another level? Maybe not even the next level, but just another level? Yes. Absolutely.

One of its biggest values is that it demonstrates the kinds of shows we were doing during our time in Ireland and again, like I said an entry or two ago, we really have captured the sound of the types of shows were playing and what we can do to an audience.

The document we have produced and delivered is live. And alive. We have supreme confidence in our product and our project. It is ready. The album is also on the way and in pretty good, solid shape for where we are with it. So until we’re ready to push the button on that, The NOW Hustle EP is a great prototype.

Day 77

Saturday September 23

Second Japanese stream today and this time we get over 100 people in for our hour long show. This is just amazing live practice as well. Today’s show felt more fluid and just easier to play than last week’s. Because, let’s face it, we really haven’t been playing live that much lately and we definitely felt it last week, even if it might not have been visible to anyone. One of the most common questions today is, ‘Are these really your own songs and not covers?’ And yes, Maja has to say quite a few times, no. These are not covers. They really are our own originals. I don’t speak Japanese but I learn today that Japanese uses the English word original, at least in this context. And I hear Maja say it a lot.

Day 131

Thursday November 16

It’s been a game changing time.

Before we get to that, as far as I’m aware, this is the single longest period I’ve ever gone without writing or putting up any Diary at all. And that’s going right back to the beginning of Mark’s Diaries, which started in the summer of 2014. Damn. Over nine years ago. It may be a little more while before posting, as right now we’re at just under eight weeks since the last entry of September 23. Then, apart from the fantastic Japanese live streams, the last actual live show we played was that momentous open mic in Edinburgh on August 6. Well over three months ago. That night, we were told by an ecstatic audience member that we absolutely could not stop. He said we had created our own genre at the very edge of pop music and that we had to keep getting out and playing as much as we could. However, for one reason or another, and none by our design we totally did stop after that. At least as far as getting out live was concerned.

So, what’s been going on? There are a few spots to hit, but first, Maja went away to Sweden for a visit towards the end of September. Then a week or so later her company announced a huge round of layoffs and she was caught up in that and made redundant. Job she came to London with, gone.

This job had been the sole reason she had been able to secure a visa to be able to live here in the first place as the company had sponsored her on a skilled workers visa. To get another job, she had to find an employer who would take on that sponsorship. That is a very very narrow field, so this really was what the hell next territory. Of course, while that scramble was going on, all Diaries and Diary activity instantly ceased. With Maja’s work being so specialised and at such a high level, this isn’t like someone losing a bar or restaurant job and simply walking into some other place and more or less starting the next day, kind of like I did a few times in London. No. These things are whole processes taking weeks.

As I’m sure you can imagine, all kinds of twists, turns and uncertainties followed. In the middle of it all came a momentous development on the complete opposite end of the emotion scale. 

Maja applied for and was granted an unmarried partner visa. First, this meant that she could now accept any job at all with or without sponsorship. Second, for the first time in London, this now makes The Diaries a very real possibility as a going concern in the UK with us now being able to fully pursue any potential commercial opportunities or ventures as and when they arise. Which means we can now totally target The Diaries as a full time deal for both of us. A huge ask in any circumstances of course, but an absolute impossibility without that particular visa. In the meantime, all is back on the rails again.

Third momentous event, which kind of had to happen really for us to be able to keep doing this, but still. Yes, Maja does indeed now have another job in the same high tech field as the last one, meaning The Diaries are now ready to be go again. And it was the new visa that made that appointment possible.

In among all that, first one of us and then the other got sick. Not massively badly, just annoyingly persistent, and for over two weeks. At the time of writing  – November 16 – Maja’s voice is still nowhere match fit but we’re getting there and will be hitting the hustle trail as soon as we feel up to speed again. At and around the same time, live streams will be up and running again too. Some in Japanese, some in English. We’ll let you know.

Day 176

Sunday December 31

OK. Reconnect time. Again. Let’s start with New Years Eve, because it is. Our names are down for the private, regulars only night at The Marquis, one of our most regular central bars. A recap about this place which is just by Trafalgar Square. I played there every month for over three years with Dan in The Insiders and me and Maja have played there a few times now and been quite a few more. When we walk in tonight, it’s already packed and there’s a live cover duo playing. Our friends Nathan and Tony. They all but stop playing to announce over the microphone, ‘Oh look who it is.’ As entrances go for New Years, not bad.

After that, what an amazing night and just the best way to bring in 2024.

Day 190

Sunday January 14 

The last time we played anything at all was back towards the end of September when we did the Japanese live stream. Damn. Just did a count and disbelieved it so much I had to do a recount. That’s 16 weeks ago. Essentially four full months. Longer than we had to wait to begin when we first arrived in London. As for actual live performances, you’re going back to August 6 and Edinburgh, a further seven weeks. So as of today, you’re looking at 22 weeks since we last played live. Oh damn. Even between Ireland and London, the times between our last and first performances were December 19 and March 9 respectively. Just 11 weeks. Oh dear. Exactly half the time of where we are now.

OK. But we’re on it. I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know we’re getting back to this now. It begins today.

Without any forethought, as morning turns to afternoon, we’re just like, let’s get back into it with a Youtube livestream. We have no expectations of audience. Nothing is being announced. Hell, we’ve only just announced it to ourselves. Really, we’re seeing it as a reconnect rehearsal, but with songs we’re very familiar with so we should still be in sight of a performance so yeah, put it out, and why not live? And even if just one person shows up, we still have a new video.

Well first, we totally double our expectations. Two people show up. Which is actually a good thing because our performance is so far below where we thought we would be at. We weren’t expecting fully stellar, but we thought this material would be familiar enough that we’d be able to slot right back into it, but no. You still need to build that stuff up again before going public and this has been a bit of a wake up call. We were planning on tentatively starting our hustle again this Tuesday. That ain’t happening now. Time to strip ourselves back and get ourselves back in the rehearsal room so to speak. And privately.

Day 191

Monday January 15

Matt gets in touch to ask how the stream went and we’re honest about it. He was one of the two so now we just have to find out who the other person was. He reckons we’re being a bit hard on ourselves. Apparently, from viewer perspective it really wasn’t that bad. OK. Maybe a lot of it was in our heads, but we were making mistakes we wouldn’t expect to make and that meant that the overall assuredness just wasn’t there so we never really felt relaxed into it. Which made it feel all, wrong. From which you can project a whole memory of performance. Maybe that’s it, I don’t know. Also, with so much live experience, we do automatically just plough through when things go wrong so mistakes and slips can very quickly get swallowed up and they’re gone before the audience even knew they were there. But we felt it and when you’re assuredness isn’t totally clicking, that translates to actual physical performance which gets held back, and you know something just isn’t right because it simply doesn’t feel right. But yeah, stuff like that might not get picked up on at all by a casual observer, or even by a musician as experienced as Matt. We tell him we’re holding back on live just a little while we knock off the rust and he says we should come and play a few songs at his show this Friday. He has a duo with our mutual friend Herman, who actually made the invitation to us through Matt. They have a semi regular gig at a bar in Leyton, east London. This sounds like a perfect place to soft relaunch ourselves. Yep. We’ll be there. Thankyou very much. It also gives us a target to aim at.

We were already on it, but having a gig to be ready for in a few days’ time means we won’t slacken off with a ‘we’ll be ready when we’re ready’ attitude. We have to be ready. We have a deadline. Even before Matt had got in touch, we had done our first lunchtime rehearsal. That happened earlier today when we gently reconnected with the material. 

Day 192

Tuesday January 19

I won’t itemise each rehearsal but it’s worth commenting on our thoughts today. Which is that we’re aiming at having six songs totally consolidated and ready to choose from for Friday. We really expect to play two, possibly one more, or three then possibly one more. Beyond those six we’re consolidating for now, once we get past the weekend and into more rehearsal, we expect a lot of songs to come back quite quickly. Then there are a whole bunch of new songs, some of which we’ve already messed about with, and others that we know quite well but just haven’t fully played too much together yet. That lot can wait. Now is not the time to be road testing them or throwing them out live when we barely know them ourselves. Stick to what we know and stick to what we know works.

Day 195

Friday January 19

Here we go. Back into it. At The Coach And Horses, Leyton High Street, east London. This is a few stops south on the tube’s Northern Line towards the centre to Tottenham Court Road station, then change to travel out east on the Central Line to Leyton. The plan for tonight is for Matt and Herman to play two sets of around 45 minutes each with us fitting more or less into the break.

I actually saw them, and in this venue, just a few days before Christmas. Not only do they play a very crowd pleasing covers set but they are technically absolutely fantastic with great vocal harmonies. A brilliant cover duo with two acoustic guitars. To be expected really. Matt is a total pro on guitar with a huge amount of experience fronting bands as a guitarist/ vocalist while Herman is a virtuoso violinist and multi-instrumentalist. I’d never seen him play guitar until last week, but it seemed like the most natural thing in the world and I never questioned it. When I played with them both in a jazz band way way back, they would often burst into spontaneous Beatles songs. Just vocally, but harmonising was right there and effortless. We never explored that territory in our project. It was talked about but we just never got round to it. But here they are now. Fully formed and sounding every bit as amazing as I thought they would.

This is what we settle into as showtime arrives at 8pm and they take to the stage and do their thing. The bar is nicely busy and the guys get steadily applauded throughout the set. It’s a slightly strange set up though. The stage is just floor space really, on floor level. That’s usual enough at these types of gigs. What’s strange is that it’s kind of off to the side so the performers are sideways facing to most of the bar to their left. To their right is the restaurant area but there’s a wall between that and the stage part, and they’re a little apart from things anyway. The sound is fantastic though. One of the best I’ve seen in a small to mid size cover venue with speakers everywhere carrying the show to all corners. Although they are at the side, they do still have an audience to play to as many of their friends have come giving them their own private audience of eight people. Quite handy moral support.

Then it’s our turn. We’re given two songs. Great. That totally works. We plug in our wireless and now we’re not bound by the stage at all. We’re just all over this place and just a few bars into our opener, I Like You (Better When You’re Naked), it’s clear we have them. People are rocking, watching, smiling. And yes, cheering through the stops and restarts. Straight away we’re in to Make Me Shine, which is just a huge sounding song with a massive singalong chanted chorus. Out beyond left stage is the big expanse of the main bar and I sweep right through into that while Maja commands centre stage, most notably the large double table immediately to the left side of the stage. We finish that song to massive cheers, then we have one more song to play. We’d planned for this and don’t hesitate as we plunge straight into relative newie Talk About The Weather, which comes with an extended a capella section which this bar just fully embraces. We finish this one to a huge whooping reception too and feel we have made this night ours. Sorry lads but, special guests or not, we were always going to do what we do. There was to be no holding back. But you know what? Hold back with original songs in front of a chilled Friday night cover night crowd and you might as well stay held back. The only way you even get through this without being ignored is to front it, throw every hat you have into the ring then storm it like you own it. And that’s exactly what we’ve done. I’ve got to say, I felt a little edgy coming here tonight. We were putting ourselves on the line again. In London and in front of a coverband crowd baying for the hits. Play what we know. And after last Sunday. This really was get back on the horse territory. In the wild wild east. Tame the horse, ride it and own it. And we have.

As Matt and Herman thank us and start up their show again, we get down to the business of going round and handing out cards and beer mats. Hands reach out to take them and the cheers keep pouring in. As well as money. We are not hustling here and there is no hat. But that doesn’t stop someone from insisting on giving Maja a tenner. In the middle of all this, one guy tells us he feels he’s just had a night out on our three songs alone. While another says it was like experiencing an hour of live music in ten minutes.

Yes. This is about as good a return to live performance as we could possibly have hoped for and the unsuspecting and unexpecting crowd has completely embraced us. Matt and Herman, thankyou.

Day 196

Saturday January 20

This next statement might seem bizarre, but I ran it by Maja before writing it here. After initially being thrown by it, she stopped to think and then was like, ‘You know what, I agree.’ 

What we did last night feels like it was our first real London show; up till last night, practically everything we’d done in London had been either open mic or open mic related. Apart from maybe one show, The Reliance in Shoreditch. On the cold Now Hustle night we played, there was barely anyone there and three of them were almost performatively hostile to us. Although to be fair, we did impress the main man Mario and indeed could possibly, possibly have built something with him if he hadn’t been going on holiday almost immediately after. And you may remember that one person did come and talk to us and was massively encouraging and enthusiastic. But if anything, the most we can call that is a successful live audition that we didn’t quite follow through on, mostly due to the move to Camden.

Oh. OK. If you follow us closely and your memory is really sharp, The White Hart. But please let’s not include that one as we never stood a chance of being able to call that a show; so quiet did we have to be in a massively packed place, and so disinterested was practically the whole bar that anyone was even playing. 

So yeah. Me and Maja are in agreement on this one so you have to be too. Last night was our first real London show.

Day 197

Sunday January 21

Just a little mention of a couple of out and abouts as today we take a trip to Kenwood House on the far side (from us) of Hampstead Heath. This is a wonderfully cosy trip through historic art and lifestyle with paintings and furnishings dating back to the early 1600s including a Rembrandt self portrait. A perfectly leisurely Sunday activity.

And in perfect contrast going in completely the opposite direction, a few weeks ago we experienced Virtual Reality for the first time and oh, what an incredible experience that was. Pretty much across the road from us is an underground arcade/mini theme park. You know the kind of thing. Coin pushing fountains, video games, fairground games such as throw the ring or basketball stuff. Air hockey. Oh I love air hockey. It’s all very clean, tidy, bright and shiny. And running through the middle of it all is tiny versions of the big theme park machinery. So yes. A rollercoaster running over the heads of the gamers. We do that today. Just to do it. Of course it’s not big world crazy but a lot more fun and thrilly spilly than it might have looked. And a few other smaller versions types of rides you could expect to find.

But then. But then. We go and try out the VR. Oh wow. Nothing could have prepared us for it. And yes, we’ve seen it on TV dramas and all the rest just like anyone else. But the (virtual) reality. I did not expect it to feel this, well, real. They have a choice of rollercoasters and other bits and pieces. We go straight for the top level. And it’s truly terrifying, wildly exciting and totally adrenalising. We make completely involuntary noises and body parts and limbs clench and flail. It’s all cartoony. Meaning when me or Maja look to each other, we see not Mark or Maja but two cartoon rabbits but totally us at the same time with all our movements. Not that there’s that much looking left or right to be done as we’re thrown all through this interstellar rollercoaster experience. And with it not being, well, real, it can do all kinds of things a reality rollercoaster can’t do. Like fly off broken tracks and land on the next ones. Or take ridiculously vertical routes. Seriously. When it stops and kind of teeters and rocks back and forth on a sheer drop it is completely joyfully terrifying. I have no idea what kind of ridiculousness we must appear to anyone with a mind to watch what’s going on. When it’s over, we can barely speak above astonished whimpers for minutes afterwards. What the hell just happened? We. Did. Not. See. That. Coming. In the context of an amusement arcade, is the ride a little expensive? Yes. To be fair it is. But really, if you see such a thing and you have the chance to do it. Do it. This truly is a special experience and one we will be returning especially for. 

Day 199

Tuesday January 23

Today is the day. Just over a year after first arriving in London, we’re beginning in earnest. We are doing this thing and we are taking it on now. So far it’s mostly been open mic nights, one NOW Hustle and some memorable afternoons in The Marquis, the fantastic live music bar near Trafalgar Square. This is a venue we very much hope to continue building in, whatever happens with any of the below. 

Which is that we’re now starting a truly proactive push with something that has been on our minds since sometime during the summer. The idea, I believe, came into focus during our time at the Edinburgh Festival, really solidifying on the long drive back home.

This is to go for a residency in a Camden Town bar, maybe even two or three of them. But in any live scenario, just getting one gig, regular or not, can be hard enough so let’s start with the one then see if we can build from there.

I first wrote about the significance of Camden in Mark’s Diaries – marksdiaries.wordpress.com. 

I became aware of what it really meant in my earliest London days, probably in the beginnings of 2015, through a guy called Kieron, one of my first bar colleagues and London friends. We were both working in The Oxford in Kentish Town which borders Camden to the north. He was starting to take me seriously as a bass player and took me aside one night to tell me that what I needed to do was to get myself known in north London. I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. Hearing something like this was intimidating. Where and how the hell did one start to do that? As I hung out with Kieron over the next few months and we went for nights out after work – mostly walking down the road to Camden from Kentish Town – the concept began to take shape in my mind. To get known in north London meant to get known in Camden. It was here that everyone in north London came to hang out. If you were known here, that reputation could spread out to all the other areas. Not necessarily that people would go home and talk about what they had seen or heard or whatever, although that could also be possible, especially if you bring that into the context of The Diaries and original music. It was more that when you went out to those areas yourself, your Camden reputation would follow along as you would meet people who already knew you because of how Camden sat centrally to everyone else’s social world. 

To expand on this, the theory is, get yourself known in Camden and you’re known in north London. Get yourself known in north London and you’re known in London. Which is the train of thought Kieron was on. Because guess what. Many of the same people would also travel to, and from, south, west, east and central. Go to any of those areas, which by this point means anywhere in London, and as soon as you walk into a bar – we’re mostly talking about a bar at least adjacent to a music scene right now – someone else knows you from somewhere else, or you get chatting to someone and discover all kinds of mutual connections, and you’re away. Take it a stage further from there, and once you’re known in London, you hold the key to being known nationally. Get known nationally and you have the key to being known internationally. And the one key from which all these and all other keys are cut, is cut in Camden. And one of the key keys to holding that key? A Camden residency. Or even better, a few of them. That’s what we’re going for now.

You may be aware of Justin Hawkins, the lead vocalist of The Darkness. They had their huge moments in the early 2000s, but they’re still very active now. Apart from that, Justin has his own podcast on Youtube – Justin Hawkins Rides Again. In this, he talks all things music and music industry, including going deep into his and The Darkness’ own experiences. As we were mulling over this idea of essentially focusing on trying to get Camden residencies, Justin had an episode where he talked about what he thought people should do if they were really serious about this music thing. His first piece of advice was to think about where you were living, and to consider if it was the best place to be. If not, then if you really were serious, maybe you should think about moving somewhere that could be the best place to be. In this, while making allowances for cities in America and maybe elsewhere, he concluded that London should be high on anyone’s list. When he mulled over where in London – it is a huge place afterall – he settled and said, ‘I still think Camden.’ Then, among all the other things you could do to really push things along, he said it was time to talk about The Residency. He said that one of the most important things The Darkness did to get going in the early days was to secure a residency in Camden. Hearing him say all this didn’t set off any lightbulbs; we were already thinking that way. But what hearing him say all this did do was to add weight and validation to what we were already thinking.

We were planning on actually starting all this last Tuesday, but then came our below par Youtube performance. As a result of that we decided to give ourselves a week in rehearsal before getting going with it. Then the show we did this last Friday came up during that week which was a perfect way back in. It also served to concentrate our rehearsals a bit more because we now had a deadline rather than, ‘Oh, we’ll go out when we’re ready.’ Yes we were only going to play two or three songs on Friday but you do have to be ready for different eventualities, room moods and indeed performer moods so only having two or three songs ready isn’t enough. Even for that show we did want to have most of our repertoire there at our fingertips.

So yes, we’re ready now and Friday was a great marker to throw down for that. We think we would like a residency that was every week, then another couple more coming in once a month or bi-weekly or something. But again, you go out, talk to people, take what works and play it from there. So who knows what other formulae or possibilities could be thrown up?

We went out a few times in the Autumn just walking round Camden and checking out a few venues that we had in mind to see if they could indeed be as suitable as we thought they could be. Most of the bars we didn’t go into at all, and of those we did, it was a very quick let’s get the feel of the place type thing. In those walkarounds we discounted a few we thought might have been good, and added one or two we hadn’t considered. That gave us our shortlist of venues to aim at when the time came. We did this in just one concentrated area of Camden. Our plan is to hit these bars first, and if nothing comes about, go and look at the other two or three areas of Camden we haven’t properly looked at yet. If nothing there either, if you go one way at the end of northern Camden you head into Belsize Park, another good area, while the other way at the same end takes you to Primrose Hill/St John’s Wood. Ditto. For what it’s worth, and maybe even for trivia if for no other reason, St John’s Wood is home to Abbey Road Studios and a certain zebra crossing you may or may not be aware of. And of course there’s the rest of London. Basically, we have a lot of options and will just keep going. 

In considering bars, there’s also the local knowledge of knowing which venues are more about local characters, which ones are for the music heads, and which ones are more touristy. A lot of this is just in the ether and comes from lived experience. I have a good amount of that having already lived in Camden Town bordering Kentish Town for six years. And in the seven months we’ve lived here now (or 198 days) we’ve been out and about enough to have built a little more local knowledge. Incidentally, if you want to read about my time in Kentish Town and getting into the London music scene in general, that’s all in Mark’s Diaries too.

As for The Diaries’ experience in London leading up to where we are now and what we’re about to embark on, our first year has more or less gone down like this.

December 21, 2022: Arrive in London from Ireland having secured an apartment in Shoreditch. Wait three months for Maja to finish her probation on the job she’d come with. Then we hit the trail the second week which was…

April 9, 2023: Set off on a run of 12 performances in ten weeks. Pretty good going. From a standing start to averaging more than a show a week. Most of them open mics, but still, getting out there, being seen, meeting people, and getting to know the scene and getting to be known on it ourselves. And discovering that hell yes, our material hits as hard in London as it ever did in Ireland or anywhere else we took it in Europe. This took us up to…

June 18: The Wonderville performance in the West End. It was around this time we started talking about moving to Camden. Immediately all thoughts of live playing stopped as we began looking for an apartment and then got started on the actual move itself.

Then, during that moving period, the idea of going to the Edinburgh Festival took hold. So we decided to focus on being properly ready for Edinburgh rather than trying to pick up gigging again. That meant being ready with as many songs as possible should any opportunities arise while in Scotland. This preparation also included refreshing songs we hadn’t played in a while. 

August 6, 2023: The Edinburgh adventure begins.

Back from Edinburgh and we were deep into August and the London weather was simply too hot to contemplate going out and hustling or playing in. Sure a case could be made to say you carry on, but really, temperatures did just feel too much. Then into…

September 25, 2023: Maja headed off to Sweden for a short while. Because of that we decided to leave getting back to gigging before she came back rather than trying to hustle then just playing for a few weeks before having to stop again. We continued to go out and about in Camden and got to know a few more people on the scene but didn’t push The Diaries at all. Maybe in the odd conversation here or there. But the main thought was to let Maja do Sweden, then hit it again as soon as she got back. Then of course while she was there she got the redundancy news. So then it was onto job hunting which meant another extended period where we had to forget about playing. 

Coming out of that we had that whole run through the Autumn where we both had one sickness after another three or four times. This led to Maja barely able to find her voice even during times she was well. 

This all runs us up to the Christmas period, then of course the beginning of January when nothing much is happening at all.

So here we are now. Today. . 

Part of actually living in Camden means most of the bars you visit are Camden bars. Of course. Living in Kentish Town as I used to, with Maja briefly living there as well, you do come into Camden now and again, but then you go to central London too, and maybe other London towns. As well as dropping into your locals in Kentish Town. Which could well be most of your drop ins with all the other stuff spread out. And when you venture into Camden, it’s usually to that destination bar. You know, We’re going to The Blues Kitchen tonight, or so on. That and two or three other bars. But very very once in a while. Probably not enough to really get your face known. Unless of course you choose to regularly Destinate one or two of those other bars rather than stay local. There are people that do that. But let’s face it. Most of the time you’re going to stay local.

When you live in Camden Town, it’s all local. So we’ve really been able to have a look around and get a proper feel for what you might call the Destinations and also get known in them. When we started to think about where we might start to look for residencies, we decided to try a place called Quinns first. Not only is it a total Camden institution but it’s right across the road from us.

So when we’ve popped out and we’ve wanted to stay very local, guess where we went? As we got to know the place, we discovered they appeared keen to try things out. We discovered they have a comedy night for a start. And we got to hear about intermittent live performances that had happened here. So as well as getting a generally good feel for it, we also started to think that when the time came, we’d get at least an understanding ear. As we became more semi regular, we also got a very good feeling from the main man Dominic. So we’re not attack this place with a NOW Hustle. Instead we’re just going to drop in, take our time, have a few pints and wait to be in a casual chat with the man himself.

He’s not massively available tonight. Because he’s hosting the weekly quiz. Wow. That sounds fun. Let’s stay and do the quiz. So we do. Afterwards and late on, it’s all quiet and cosy at the bar and we just fall into quick chats with Dominic as we often do. This is where we finally tell him what we’re up to in London. Up until now we’ve never even mentioned we do music. He gregariously spreads his arms. ‘We can try it in here tomorrow,’ he says. Like that, we’re in. Of course, keeping in is going to be a very different matter. But all you can ever ask of a place is an opportunity. As we say our goodbyes and head across the road back home, we hold that opportunity deep in our pockets.

Day 200

Wednesday January 24

Something I forgot to mention in the last entry. This whole push we’re just starting now, which is about to manifest in its first live show in just a few minutes, is something we wanted to get started on possibly as far back as early November. Which was when one sickness after another kicked in. And as each subsequent period happened, we could see the calendar inch, then speed towards Christmas, knowing that if we didn’t get at least one show on the board by mid, or even early, December, we would just have to sit back and wait till late January. Which, as stated by the very date of this entry right at the top of this paragraph, is exactly what happened. 

Right. On to today.

Rock’n’roll wisdom #782. It’s harder to play to five people than it is to five hundred. I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). Apart from anything else, this can cause a situation where, even if one or two people (up to 40 per cent of your audience in this situation) like you, no-one wants to break ranks and clap and cheer if everyone else is staying silent. So in a sense, the silence can become exponential. Have I just invented exponential silence? I do believe I have.

So yeah. You really do feel naked when being stared down by just a few people in a bar. Or possibly even worse, not being stared down. Which means they just keep their backs to you and hunch over their pints, probably hoping that by the time they turn round to go to the toilet or whatever, you’re not there anymore. If it’s five people being like, we really want to see you, show us what you’ve got, that can be really good. But apathy bordering on unwelcomeness? We really do get the feeling that the people in here tonight either couldn’t care less whether or not we were there, or really wish we weren’t. No-one’s being rude and there isn’t a single thing in any way anyone acts that we could complain about. But you can just tell enthusiasm levels are non-existent. And we’re going to stand up and play to this now.

It’s a sceptical crowd (crowd?) on a wet and reluctant Wednesday. I totally get it. If I was in a relaxed cosy bar just trying to have a quiet pint and maybe catch the last bits of the football while chatting quietly to a few mates or casual bar acquaintances, then two hyped up bunnies with a guitar smashed in saying they were going to play some of their own songs? Yeah. My reluctant cynicism would kick in too. Yeah. I really think I’d be like, ‘Fair play to you guys, but not tonight, eh?’ Maybe I would be keen to go ahead to let the guys show what they had, but I have to admit that would be nothing more than associative bias.

We think Dominic is really keen to hear us, but anyone else just couldn’t care less. But we’re set up, we’re set to play, and we’re going to do it. Sometimes, in more, let’s say, politely reluctant environments, we’ve gone in gentle, people have worked into it, and then, on one particularly memorable occasion, have eventually been like, ‘OK. Give it now. Let’s see what you’ve got.’ None of that here. But we don’t wait. It’s a slow Wednesday and this is our first chance to make a first impression. The next impression won’t be the first one. I understand that’s how it goes. We go straight for the tried and tested crowd pleaser I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). And we play it like we mean it. Straight up, raw, and stadium. Wow. Actually, not a bad reaction. The guys have swivelled round in their chairs and are watching us with some interest now. We barely take a breath. Into Rock’n’Roll Tree. Halfway through this the phone cameras are out. And we get a good vocal reaction when we hit the final climax. Everyone’s totally with us now. All on the same side and they’re ready and waiting for more. One more, we say. We only intended to play three or four anyway, and it seems like quick in and out is the way to go. We’ve got ourselves ahead in tonight’s competition. Let’s stay there. The Cat comes out and the filming doesn’t stop. People are leaning forward into us now. Dominic is loving it. And so are we. As big a reaction as you could expect from five guys when we finish this one. 

But as the last notes echo and fade and the guys quietly turn back to their pints, the cavernous bar swallows up all our efforts and it’s already as though we were never there. We have absolutely no idea how it’s gone. If anything, badly. We sidle back to where we came from, almost trying not to be seen, and order a pint at the bar. We sit there in silence, the rest of the bar feeling like it’s also in silence. Some muted conversation down there but not much else and no-one’s looking in our direction. It’s as though we’ve never been in. ‘Oh, I feel awkward,’ says Maja. Yeah. I feel it too. But we’re going to stick around and front this out. We did great. We decided a long time ago that if we ever bombed in a bar it was them and not us. Then Dominic comes over. He stands over us in silence for a while then says, ‘You guys were shit.’ I look him in the eye with a ‘no hard feelings’ smile and say, ‘Thankyou very much.’ I genuinely have no idea if he’s joking or not and up front honesty is always to be appreciated. Even if, or maybe even especially if, it’s negative. Almost immediately he seems to decide he can’t do it to us anymore. ‘No, I really enjoyed that,’ he says, breaking into a smile. ‘Especially that third one. That was your best one.’ Oh wow. Yeah. We’ll take that. Then, as if taking us into his confidence, what he says next kind of suggests that how we thought it was going down was how it was going down. He tells us that when we started, all hyped up and into it, one of his regulars down there said something to him like, ‘What the hell is this?’ Yeah. We saw that guy. He didn’t give much, but there was a kind of intrigued interest going on the more we played. Well, at the end, Dominic says that guy turned to him, nodded and said, ‘They were quite good.’ Apparently that’s a big deal. We’re now told that this is a discerning music fan who is slow to praise and quick to criticise. I’m sure you know the type. Open but cynical I think would be fair. Possibly keen and on the lookout for something new and great, but perpetually underwhelmed and disappointed with what they’re being offered. But no. He liked us, and Dominic says that’s significant. More. As we’re packing up that guy comes over to us and is enthusiastic and very friendly in his praise. Oh wow. That was a moment. One by one almost everyone else in the bar also comes over to say well done and to tell us how much they enjoyed it and that it was great to hear something different. Really, if that’s not a triumphant gig from hard beginnings, I don’t know what is. For a first time out, no fanfare, no anticipation. Wet Wednesday with the football on and all that. Yes, we will take that. 

Whatever has happened tonight, Dominic thinks there’s been enough to at least have another go. He comes and talks to us again and we start to talk about what we might do next to see if we can at least try to make this work. First, he says he should have known it would be quiet on a Wednesday and that this might not have been the best night to try to kick things off. He suggests next Tuesday for another try. That’s quiz night. He says there’ll be a decent few in and it could be good to see what we can do with that with a few songs during the break. Brilliant. We’re on.

Day 201

Thursday January 25

It’s a nice surprise when Dominic gets in touch to see if we could go for that second try in Quinns tonight. OK. It’s comedy night. They tend to be busy nights and he says he really wants to see what we can do with a crowd. Brilliant. We’re totally up for that.

We’ve been to that night before. It happens at the back of the bar, a thick black curtain turning it into a separate room. Dominic suggests we turn up during the first half, set up, and then be ready to go when they come out for the break. He says it will be a cool surprise for them. Lovely idea. Yes. Let’s do that.

What can we say? It doesn’t work. It doesn’t just not work. It fails spectacularly. It’s something we would have suggested ourselves and indeed something we thought we could have connected with during the Edinburgh Festival. Hook up with a comedian, or a group of them, and play to their audience in the break. Or before. Or after. It’s something we’ve even thought of pitching to a comedian or two in London. So yeah. Dominic’s idea was solid and something we were fully behind. The reality is a full one eighty turn away from the theory. They’re there on a comedy night. Not a music night. And for the organisers, this is their crowd, no-one else’s. We’re not allowed to have it. 

So what exactly does happen? Well, as soon as we start playing, they start walking. Right out of the side door onto the street. And out there they all huddle and stay, resolutely, determinedly, waiting for us to finish as we play gamely and full heartedly to an all but empty and very large bar. We spiritedly take it to three songs but the writing is all over the wall, over the ceilings and out onto and across the street. Take this one on the chin. We were not wanted in here from the beginning and it had nothing to do with anything we were or weren’t going to play. They could have had anyone in here tonight and it wouldn’t have made any difference. Hell, they could even have had…The Diaries.

But all is not quite as disastrous as it may appear. As we’re taking our gear down, someone from a table in an alcove down the bar, a table that we couldn’t see, comes up and says disappointedly, ‘Is that it? Are you done?’ ‘Afraid so,’ I say. We were here to play for the comedy crowd in the break and they couldn’t have cared less so we just called it.’ ‘Well we thought you guys were great,’ he says. Oh. OK. Thanks. He goes on his way and we carry on packing up. As we do, more and more people come up to us to say more of the same. 

It’s fair to say we still feel a little downcast when we go and talk to Dominic, who was busy with other things and didn’t catch our blink when you miss it set. ‘It didn’t work,’ I say. ‘The comedy guys just didn’t want music in their half time break and we never had a chance.’ ‘Did people come up to you afterwards and say they enjoyed it and well done?’ Dominic asks. ‘They did.’ ‘You can’t ask for more than that,’ he replies. ‘That’s a success.’ We’re quick to let him know that we thought tonight was a great idea and it’s something we’d been thinking of for a while. But I add, ‘We’ll be knocking that idea on the head though. We’ve tried it now and discovered it doesn’t work.’ ‘Forget about all that now,’ says Dominic. ‘Shall we just carry on with playing in the break of the quiz next week like we said?’ Yes, yes and yes. And just like that, tonight never happened.

Day 206

Tuesday January 30

Unfortunately there’s not a massive turnout for the quiz. It’s a fun night but laid back night with a steady hum of energy. We respond to that at our halftime break slot by deciding to enhance the existing atmosphere rather than smashing into it in our usual style. We go for a low down version of Freefall followed by Sand Bang. Freefall gets a wonderfully chilled and appreciative reaction. ‘That’s a really good song,’ that kind of thing. But then Sand Bang really hits with a few cheers and whoop calls. A massive reaction in the circumstances.

This is all promising and we settle in and enjoy the night rather than pursue what’s next for us in here. We’ll leave that for another day and just enjoy the post quiz vibe. And anyway, a massive part of all this is to stay afterwards and chat to the people who’ve seen you. And yeah. Appreciate their appreciation. We really feel that tonight with a few very enthusiastic conversations during which we’re about other venues that would be receptive to us, along with the people in those venues we should go and talk to. Just wonderful local information. We also get asked a few times when and where we’re playing next. As usual, we have no idea. And while we may yet build up a futures roster, we really do quite like the drop in and play element we’ve followed through most of our gigging adventures. However, we do also say that we’re hoping to build something in here, so that could be something for them to look out for.

Yeah, we can’t yet say we’re in here every whatever day it might hopefully be, but it is really great to start to feel those little seeds of interest. However, we certainly think and hope we’ve done enough so far to book the next one in when the time comes for that conversation. 

Day 211

Sunday February 4

Tommy of The Marquis gets in touch. If you need a reminder, or are new to this, that’s the bar right by Trafalgar Square. One of his staff is leaving today and they’re having a big music day with a whole load of acts. Do we fancy it. Oh wow. Yes. We will be there. Thankyou very much. This will be our fifth gig in 17 days. We turn up totally matchfit and ready.

The main act of the day will be Tom McQ who will do his own full show from around 1pm to 4pm. I know opening acts aren’t usually the main act, but this isn’t to be seen as an opening act. It’s basically a separate thing with Tom completely owning the place for those three hours. After that, Tommy says, it will be a bit of a free for all, kind of organise as you go kind of thing. During all this, two bands which will include different staff members will be playing. The way it comes down is that Tom does his thing which we catch a good 30 to 40 minutes of. There’s a bit of a break, which has the effect of separating the two entertainment entities as I was saying. Then, once the stage and PA is all set up for the two bands, the floor is essentially free. We take the first spot, and then Brian of The Barrytones takes the second. After this, it’s band time to take us all the way to close at 8pm.

A word while we’re here on Tom McQ. He’s not just a singer/songwriter. He’s a whole event of a stage act, fully dressed for the stage, with the stage also fully dressed for him. He lives and breathes what he does and has done for years. In a three hour show, his own original songs fit right in among classic crowd pleasing covers. This is a trick so many acts find so hard to pull off as you spot the originals a mile off with the quality suddenly and very markedly dipping. Tom’s songs suffer no such fates.

I first saw him and met him when he played The Record Day at The Marquis in possibly 2015, an event I played at myself with Dan as The Insiders. Tom’s been playing there ever since and has progressed on the scene to the point that he managed to get a slot at Glastonbury last year. You can find him on instagram at tommcqofficial.

Tom has good support in here today, including a friend who owns a cocktail bar in Tottenham, north London, a place he plays at regularly.

As I said, I’ve known Tom for almost a decade. We don’t go and have coffee or anything regularly, or at all, really. But in the way of music scenes everywhere, whenever our paths happen to cross, no matter how much time has passed in between the last crossing, we come together as good friends. It’s also pretty cool that when we walk in today we get a big shoutout from him from the stage. Always helps the kudos and, yeah, lifts the ego a little. Cheers Tom.

He finishes his set, comes and joins us for a while, then does his mingling thing, then goes back to the stage to pull down so that the stage can be rebuilt for what’s going to happen for the rest of the day. Suddenly, looking towards me he calls out, ‘Hey Mark, come and have a look at this.’ So of course I do. Tom bursts into laughter. I wasn’t talking to you, he says. Here comes my friend who was sitting right behind you. He’s Mark as well. But anyway, you stay here too. This is pretty cool. Now Mark’s joined us, we have a little laugh between ourselves at what’s just happened and have a handshake hello. And that’s how I meet Mark. What Tom wants to show him/us is a signed guitar hanging up on the wall next to the stage area. It’s signed by Damien Dempsey to Tommy – Tommy in this entry is landlord Tommy. Tom is, well, the other Tom in this paragraph. As for Damien, if you’re not familiar with him, he’s a very successful Irish singer/songwriter from Dublin who shone hugely in the Meteor Awards between 2004 and 2009 being nominated for eleven and winning six, including best Irish male act which he’s won twice.

This is just one piece of signed memorabilia all around the bar which Tommy has been gifted over the years. The latest piece of memorabilia is a round plaque behind the bar, which was hung up in the place it actually happened for a while before being moved for reasons I don’t know. People probably kept taking it down and reading it and passing it around or something. That place was in the corner area where the stage is, and the plaque commemorates when Green Day played here in November, just a couple of months ago. Let me repeat that. Green Day played here in November just a couple of months ago. The story goes that Green Day had heard of The Marquis being a supporter of original music and had some cool bands. They began to follow the venue and saw videos of some of the shows they had. They were so impressed by the intention, vibe, and level of talent they saw that they decided when they were booked to play London next, they wanted to come and play here themselves. The only person who knew, until the day, was Tommy himself. The event made the news worldwide.

And it’s on this stage we’re going to play in half an hour or so.

I walk back to our table from the stage where Tom has been showing me/us the Dempsey guitar, and there’s a new addition, sitting on the other side of the table from Maja, facing the stage and minding his own business. He’s not gone and sat down with Maja or us or anything. He’s just found a seat going spare near the front of the bar and taken it. In the interests of togetherness and being social and all that we introduce ourselves to him and bring him into our company. His name is Ant. Cool. And that’s how we meet Ant.

A few minutes later, Mark turns up. Yes that one. He sits on the other side of the table from us as well, and he and Ant get talking. It’s clear they know each other very well. Soon, all four of us are chatting away, and during that time Tom comes and joins us as well. Of course he does. Those guys are his friends. Somewhere in the conversation Ant casually mentions a cocktail bar he owns in Tottenham and I’m like, ‘Oh, that’s your place that Tom was talking about.’ Yep. It was indeed. He asks a little about us and we tell him we’re playing in here today and have played quite a few times before as well. That gets his interest and we talk a little more about live music and stuff. I tell him a little more about us and he says, ‘You don’t need to sell it. You’re good enough to play in here. You’re in.’ And that’s how that can get done. Cool.

Pretty much at the same time as all this is going on, Per walks in. No, not totally unannounced and surprising like that time on the last afternoon of the 100 hour Jam in the Blues Kitchen. He’s in London for a short visit and we were intending to get together. We’ve let him know we’re playing in here today and here he is. Brilliant. He’ll also film our show. Brillianter.

That showtime arrives. So often we have to make the show and really force ourselves into the collective consciousness. But not today. The whole bar is ready and waiting for things to happen now. As we get set up, we’re on the main floor but looking up at a lot of faces looking back. Things are expected. OK. Let’s go. For the first time ever at any kind of show like this we start with a slow song. Sand Bang. Oh man, they’re with us from the first note. This song is atmospheric and cabaret/musical like almost. Unfortunately we had sound issues with the cordless mic so Maja is on a corded mic and unable to really roam as she would, especially with a song like this. But that really doesn’t seem to matter as it rumbles on and the crowd gets totally sucked into the drama of it. Then they get taken off as we near the end and the song takes off too. When we hit the last notes, there’s a slight pause before the applause and cheers soak over us. Into that pause a single female voice says, in her own hushed tones, ‘Oh wow.’ Hearing something like that is worth any number of applauses.

On we go and we hit them with three of our smash set songs, closing out with Make Me Shine. This feels like a London show. They’ve been with us all the way and so many people come up and talk to us or congratulate us after, or offer to buy us drinks. One guy even says, ‘You guys belong on Top Of The Pops.’ For our non UK readers, that’s the UK’s biggest ever chart show and was almost required weekly watching once upon a time. It’s been off the screens for quite a while now, but we know what he means. We will do our best to accommodate.

Back to our table and Ant and Mark are looking at us slightly differently from how they were ten minutes ago. We were not expecting that, is the general tone and sentiment. Yes. He definitely wants to see us playing in his place. It will be done.

As we talk more to the two of them now we discover they have a long Camden history of being on the live music and DJ scenes and are both still very active on them. Of course they are. Ant has his bar and Mark, among other things, is DJing in some very prominent places. Their histories in Camden go back 15 to 20 years. So rooted are they that Mark actually has a picture of him painted onto the wall inside The Good Mixer. To recap, that’s the Camden bar that was at the centre of Britpop and which was one of the main regular spots for Amy Winehouse among many many other stars. Inside the bar are paintings of notable regulars, all set in a single bar scene. Inside that scene, we now learn, is Mark. If that’s not established in Camden music I don’t know what is.

We stick around for the rest of the afternoon taking in Brian’s fantastic acoustic cover set then the two rock’n’roll sets from the bands belonging to various barstaff. Or the bands various barstaff are in. I don’t want to assume any dynamics here. Both are just brilliant and totally rock the place. This all goes right up until close. We say our goodbyes all over the bar, then the three of us – myself, Maja and Per – are off to The Blues Kitchen in Camden. 

What this means is getting the tube back to Camden, going back to our place, dropping off the guitar, picking up a bass, then walking to The Blues Kitchen. But there’s one more thing on the way.

As we’re coming up the escalators at Camden Tube station we hear a call from behind us. It’s Mark. Oh, hi Mark. Cool. He tells us he’s off to The Hawley Arms. This is another major bar on the Camden music history trail. He says he’s going to put a word in for us. Oh wow. And just like that we have another potential venue to aim at where we will already be spoken for. This is all quite a fantastic vibe and afternoon to take with us as we walk from our place and down the road to The Blues Kitchen for the Sunday Jam.

From today’s Marquis show

https://youtu.be/wdaF2GwBPCw

Sand Bang

https://youtu.be/GEH3mHr5MHo

I Like You (Better When You’re Naked)

Day 227

Tuesday February 20

I think we can just say that life has been getting in the way a little bit lately, so not too much going on musically. Until tonight when we find our way, in just under an hour and two buses, to Ten To One Cocktail Bar, Ant’s fantastic place in Tottenham, north London. What we find is a really cool, perfectly rectangular shaped bar space, all set up for a kind of mixed open mic featuring comedians and singer/songwriters. Our first impression is that this looks remarkably like Laksmi, our favourite bar in Berlin. It’s largely painted red inside too. Oh, and right up to date. We recently unearthed what we had thought was a lost video from the last time we played there. Coming to a Youtube channel or thread near you soon. Back to Ten To One. It’s a single long space with a bar running more or less down one side. The stage area is on the left as you come in. This places it right in front of the window which gives it an earthy street backdrop, augmented by regular double decker red London buses which massively add to the experience and to videos we’ve discovered. Added to all this, a large neon bar sign provides really cool extra framing for performers.

As soon as we walk in, Ant looks up and is delighted to see us. We told him last week that we weren’t going to make it then but that we were hoping to this week, and here we are. The place feels immediately warm and welcoming and a few people take note of us after our effusive welcome. After all the hellos, he says that Den’s running the night – The Ramshackle Collective – and he’s already told her all about us. Just then, she turns up and says hello. Brilliant. Introduced, on the list and all good to go.

We settle down and are told we’ll be somewhere in the second half. Between now and then it’s something around a 60/40 split in favour of the comedy. People newish on the scene trying out new material, and people playing their first few shows, or even their first show, as they begin to find their comedy groove. I think stand up comedy is about the hardest thing you can do in entertainment and special respect is reserved for anyone having their first go at it, and indeed anyone just doing it at all. 

Den kicks things off with what she introduces as the theme song of the evening. Called Nowhere Parade, it sets the scene for where this venue actually is. On a tiny parade of shops in a quiet residential kind of area somewhere out in zone three. But then these can often be the kind of places you find the truly cool destination bars which this place very much aspires to be. Given its independence, full-on support of talent and original music, and the general vibe which Ant has created, it really could become a destination bar. A true London gem to be sought out and travelled to. It turns out people already do; during the night, Den asks for who’s come here the furthest. Someone who’s come here from out in Hertfordshire wins tonight, but we hear stories of people coming from much further afield for a night, and even the occasional international traveller is apparently discovering it, so something is clearly going on here. And Den sets the tone for the night fantastically with songs tinged with observational comedy and surreal social commentary.

As for Ten To One itself, as we sit down and look around, we see it’s made up of so much more than the venue area we’re in right now. Walk through this space to the right and there’s a pretty large outside covered area, all very well appointed with tables and chairs, kind of set up to kind of look like a diner. Then on the other side, up another few steps, there’s a lovely restaurant area. You really could pack quite a crowd into the whole place. And all of this in a former betting shop. Hence the name, Ten To One.

By the time we’re called up the atmosphere is well and truly warmed up. With Ant having invited us here especially after having seen us at The Marquis, we’re keen to 

demonstrate to him our range of repertoire. This may take some time over a period of weeks and more, but for starters we’re keen not to play any of the songs we played when he saw us. So tonight we go for Talk About The Weather and Rock’n’Roll Tree. Although we do open with Sand Bang which we also opened with at The Marquis. The reasoning there being that we haven’t yet done it justice live and really feel we’re ready now to get a solid full live performance of this one under our belts. And we do. This eases us really nicely into it and then we’re away with the next two. Which take us right up to the high energy levels that so impressed Ant at The Marquis, although we like to think he enjoyed the atmospheric and theatrical Sand Bang as well. But yeah. Talk About The Weather and Rock’n’Roll Tree. Two authentic smash set songs. And smash in here tonight they certainly do, with Ant rocking behind us and really getting into it as he keeps an eye on the sound. And yes. Having an actual venue owner appear to enjoy us as much as this really is a great boost.

When the night is all over, the buzz around the room is all about the high levels of energy of our set and how it all but put people through the ceiling. Ant is on it as well. He pulls us aside and looks at his calendar of events. He says he’s all booked up on his Wednesday night full set music nights until May, but he’d love to have us headline a show that night. He says we can look at this together over the next few months, deciding on any acts from here that could work well with us. So yeah. We’re in and we’re on. Our first offer of a headline show in an actual London music venue. 

We go home quite a different way to how we came here as we head out onto the street and find that the first bus coming our way is going to Archway. Oh, let’s do that. Which gives us a walk home from Archway, through Kentish Town and onto Camden. Right past the two places we lived in London before Ireland, and onto the place we live now.

And another thought or two on that Nowhere Parade song. Yeah. By London standards, Ten To One is a bit isolated and kind of out of the way. But that really makes it the true London hidden gem that it is. A place you really have to seek out or care about to find. And when you do, you know it’s yours and isn’t going to be beset by tourists. Yes the tourists are all fantastic, we absolutely love living in a place that people want to come all over the world to and we very much feel a sense of pride of that in our own Camden Town. But to know the places that are yours, that the tourists don’t know about – unless they really, really look – can be its own special thing too. It’s really what makes you a local. And knowing places like Ten To One and hopefully becoming part of them is what truly makes you a London local. And also being apart like it is, I’m guessing makes it a bit easier to attract and build its own local crowd. Its own community. And to have a chance of becoming part of that is its own kind of special. 

Day 241

Tuesday March 5

I told you life had got in the way a little bit. I think you can see that now with these last few entries being quite far apart. February 4, February 20, and now March 5. But here we are. Out and ready to go again. And yeah, I think I can say that we are pretty much on the trail again. It begins tonight with a return to Ant’s bar, The Ten To One Cocktail Bar in Tottenham. 

And once more a wonderful night of music, comedy and general hanging out and chatting to all the different acts and audience members. But there’s a slight shift for us tonight. We’re held right back until the very end when we’re actually called to close the show. We had no idea that was going to happen until Den announced us as the last act of the night. Second time out and we get that privilege. Fantastic. We grab it with all four of our hands and totally smash it with I Like You (Better When You’re Naked) – Ant had heard this one but we decided it really was time to unleash it on everyone else in here – an absolutely breathless My Game My Rules – of which we get our first full recording – and Fire. This is one of our more gentle songs although it does have a barnstorming finish. It’s also nice to show we can do something a bit more controlled and reserved. I feel it’s like we’re saying, look, we don’t have to blow the doors off every single time. Although to be fair, before we get to Fire, we already have pretty much blown the doors right off and everyone’s just desperately holding on to try not to get blown out with them. The reactions have been huge again tonight. And again, Ant seems to be really into what we’re doing. Yes. We really are feeling good about this venue. It’s relatively far out when you live in Camden with everything on your doorstep, but as I was saying in the last entry, very much worth the journey.

Day 248

Tuesday March 12

Mark:

Oh we’re so glad we’re filming things more and more now. In the earlier days, which encompasses both of our European tours and most of our Ireland adventures, we were reliant on other people to film us, but because most of our shows were in places we weren’t known, and by design we didn’t have friends with us, we often didn’t feel able to ask anyone to do it. Consequently, we have very little filmed record of whole swathes of gigs. One of the more disappointing experiences happened in Antwerp in August 2022. Someone was filming us and we asked if they wouldn’t mind doing it on one of our phones so that we could have it and send it to them if they wanted. They replied, in full friendliest of terms, oh don’t worry. I’ll send you my video. I could say we never received it. But maybe they just still haven’t got round to it yet.

Now fully armed with a telescopic tripod, we’re able to film consistently and reliably, and have managed to capture what is now all three performances at Den’s Ramshackle Collective night at the Ten To One Club in Tottenham, which is where we find ourselves again tonight. We’ve really not been on the hustle trail lately because there are other things we want and need to concentrate on, so it’s great to have this regular Tuesday thing we can come to whenever we want and have ten minutes or so on a great platform to do our thing. We’ve not even been looking too much at the residency thing lately either, although we have visited a few bars just to hang out and see how we feel about them. It’s also been kind of an idea to get to know people in the bars and the bar managers and so on, meaning that an approach to maybe playing there would be done in a softer, they know us now, kind of way rather than walking in off the street and doing a street hustle.

Just like last week, Den puts us on last tonight, which again is a fantastic privilege. We’ve decided to do two of our biggest sounding and fastest songs in Make Me Shine and The Cat. However, to throw a surprise in, we’ve decided to open with our most delicate song, Insanity. Yeah. The irony isn’t lost on us that our slowest, gentlest song  among a cacophony of smashers is called Insanity. Of the songs on our upcoming debut album, Insanity is the only slow starting one which doesn’t kick out of the gear in which it begins. We do have a few others like this floating about and waiting in the wings to be added to the repertoire, and a few mid tempo swaying type things, but nothing quite as all out gentle as this one.

As such, it appears our deliberate attempts to surprise worked, as we’re told later, by a few people, that they were waiting in full anticipation for this one to really kick in. But our real surprise is lying in wait and has been deliberately engineered. Having started with such a wonderful gentle thing, as soon as the last notes fade away, Maja charges in with ‘Go!’ And we smash straight into Make Me Shine. This juxtaposition is wild and makes Make Me Shine sound even heavier and more frantic than it usually does. And with our phone recording equipment being out there at the back among the audience, later on we’re able to hear the surprised laughter of shock as we hurtle through our second song.

Out of Make Me Shine and we plunge headlong into another enormous track – The Cat. This one really is full on with attitude, aggression and fun, all rolled into one. It contains one of my favourite chorus lines of ours: ‘I’m gonna rip it up spit it out smash it up I’m living on moonshine.’

We’re really getting to open up our repertoire in here. Three more songs to come next week.

It’s also really great to have found a place such as this which mixes it up more with a lot of comedians using it as a great place to find their voice and cut their teeth. You really can see the improvement in real time in people and that’s great to be a part of. And a few weeks in, it’s also fun to be a bit more familiar with some of the fun songs Den plays to introduce the evening and at various other points in the night. They really do lend themselves to audience participation and she actively encourages it at times. Many of these moments have become kind of our own Ramshackle Collective in-jokes, or whatever you would call them. Knowing her music and singing along to it makes you feel like part of a club. Which is kind of what they’re going for here as they look to build and build. We’re delighted to be playing our little part in that.

And here’s the full show. Insanity, Make Me Shine, The Cat

Day 255

March 19

Back at The Ramshackle Collective at Ten To One in Tottenham. Tomorrow Maja has to go back to Sweden for a few weeks. She possibly should have gone just a little earlier, but she really wanted to play here tonight, so the trip got put off until tomorrow morning.

Ten To One tends to close soon after the Ramshackle Night so to be able to properly meet some people and enjoy the hang as well as the show, it’s better to get in early. And just good to be around for the whole thing, we think. So nice and early tonight and, oh wow. The first thing we see when we walk in is that the place now has a stage. We can’t help but go straight up and stand on it and take in this new perspective. Ant looks up and says, ‘Yeah. We’re a proper music venue now.’ He really is trying to build something here. And with original music venues and venues in general closing down all over London and the UK, to see the trend reversed anywhere, and to see one opening up is priceless. I could say something similar about Tommy at The Marquis. And there’s a solid link between the two here tonight. This stage was put together between last week and this by Ant and Tom McQ, who regularly plays The Marquis. He’s here tonight and we go and catch up with him and Ant now. Between them, we hear of their own event going on in Walthamstow a week Saturday where Tom will be playing a full few sets of his own, and this time all originals. Before his show, and in between, Ant will be DJing. So a chance to see both of them fully doing their thing. Every other show I’ve seen Tom do he’s been in a situation where covers are kind of the thing, although it’s fine to throw some originals in. This will be a different evening so expect all originals. Brilliant. And Ant says that within his DJ sets he’s intending to play more and more original recorded music from upcoming bands. So that’s quite a few new stages, literally, being created in London as stages everywhere are being torn down.

Tom’s not playing here tonight. As a result I think I’m going to claim that tonight, the stage is ours. We don’t finish the show as we have the past two times, but it damn well feels like we do. Host Den has been at a comedy workshop and a bunch of the participants have come down here with her tonight. From here they have to get home to various parts of London and so won’t be staying too late. Den is really keen for them to see us, so asks if we don’t mind going on far earlier than the past few times. Really, we’ll go on when the host wants us to go on. We certainly aren’t taking closing the show for granted. But with the room being more full than we’ve yet seen it, and with so many of the people in it set to leave within the next half hour or so, we really do get the best spot of the night and it certainly feels like a closing set.

Fittingly, although we could have easily changed things around if needed, we’re planning to play two of our heaviest songs tonight with Nobody Said and Give Me The World. In between we’re playing one of those swayers I was talking about last week – Without A Gloria.

Tonight feels like a big show. It’s an open mic night, but our section of it feels like an event. I’ve seen few open mic acts ever get such a reception, and even fewer turn their, er, turn, into an event. It starts even before we begin due to a mistake as I forget to bring Maja’s mic to the stage when I bring my guitar from the back room. She saw me go out back and in all fairness assumed I would just bring the microphone as well. So there we are both on stage and all of a sudden we’re facing an expectant audience. Oh sorry Maja. I forgot your thing. So we have to leave everyone standing there while she goes through the audience to get it. As she starts to return, Ant decides to lead everyone in a steady insistent hand clap which accompanies her all the way back to the stage. With this, by the time she arrives, we are facing a very expectant room. Then she does something I’ve never seen her do before, insisting we’re not starting not beginning until the audience has closed up and moved up and in front of us at the stage. And so they do. From there, we have the room. Totally. And so it is that we get to close the first of the three of tonight’s sections. Brilliant. Job done, we can just go and chill out now and enjoy the rest of the evening. We’ve done our bit now.

Day 266

Saturday March 30

With Maja being in Sweden, I go to Tom’s thing on my own. I did mention it to a friend or two but no-one was able to make it, so here I am. This is happening at the Free Trade Hall in Walthamstow, an area a little further out in zone three, east London.

Ant’s DJ-ing before, in between sets, and after the show, with Tom playing on and off for the whole evening, and playing only his own original material, which is something I’ve not seen him do before. It’s great he’s created his own platform for this. Attendancewise, it looks pretty much full. Like comfortably full for a nightclub vibe. Which is really what it feels like. Ant’s playing all feel good, up tempo danceable songs, staying very much within pop and rock. A good chunk of 80s and 90s in there. And all around you can see people introducing themselves to each other with the room really feeling like something of a community. The kind of all in it together nightclub vibe I haven’t experienced since I don’t know how long, although to be fair, it’s also a long time since I’ve been to an actual nightclub, bars and live music venues having been more my thing since I don’t know when. I mingle a little and chat a bit with this person and that person, or have a quick interaction here and there. A hello to Ant. A quick word in passing with Tom. It’s just a really great night and a wonderful combination of DJ and live.

Day 277

Tuesday April 9

Maja got back late last night and we’re straight out the next night, which is tonight.

Another Ramshackle Collective at Ten To One, and damn those comedians are really upping their game. Even jokes we’re familiar with are starting to sound new. Routines are being honed to the point where, in a few cases, what were whole sections of an act are now just two or three lines. Even throwaway lines. This is crafting happening almost in real time in front of your eyes. It might also help that we haven’t been here for a few weeks, so improvements and changes become even clearer. But this is far and away the best evening we’ve had in here so far and they’ve all been great. But really, two or three acts in here tonight are better than acts that have been part of events I’ve paid to see. One of them closes tonight’s show, which means we don’t. But then, we didn’t say we were definitely coming and this guy was here first and got to be given the privilege so absolutely fair enough. His name is Baron Fortitude and he’s here prior to his upcoming performance at the final of the UK Musical Comedy Awards. I can say now he didn’t place in the top three, but that only speaks to what must have been the overall quality of the whole lineup.

As it is, we get to close the second section of tonight’s show and we do so with Freefall, How You Rock’n’Roll and Six Sense Lover. Den is great at introducing everyone and bigging them up and making sure they get a great and welcome reception and reaction. For us, she hints at what might be coming by saying to an expectant audience, ‘Hold onto your hats. It’s The Diaries.’ With that, we’re up and running. Unfortunately, there’s no video of this one, not anything we’re going to put up anyway, because there’s just too much hustle and bustle in front of the camera which was in the only place we could put it. But that’s just a mark of how successful and popular this night is beginning to become so we’ll happily take that.

Day 284

Tuesday April 16

Another entry in what is becoming more or less our weekly report on our goings-on at The Ramshackle Collective at The Ten To One Club in Tottenham. Oh, Den steps up for us tonight. She really steps up for us tonight. I said a few appearances ago that our part in the evening felt like an event. Well tonight it steps up even more. We’re closing the evening again, which Den tells us almost as soon as we arrive which is just brilliant and hugely appreciated. Between now and then, we sit back and enjoy another evening of music and comedy, again seeing all kinds of development here and there. Then it’s our turn and the atmosphere just changes to electric. This is up there with the time we walked into The Pull Inn in Ireland to Now Hustle and everyone already knew who we were and the room exploded in excitement that The Diaries had just walked in off the street unannounced. 

Oh, that was special. Of course our last show at The Trap and one or two more there, especially the time it was almost demanded that we  play after that fantastic Status Quo tribute show. We’d just popped in for a quiet pint or two, unexpectedly found the place hopping with a great live show, joyfully throwing ourselves into that environment. When we found ourselves contributing to the whole thing as we performed our biggest, most demanded and anticipated show up to that point. I think tonight has to join that list as the cheering starts BEFORE we play. Of course it’s no new thing for people to be encouraged to clap and cheer and give encouragement for acts coming to the stage, and hosts will often exhort people to go wild and clap and cheer and generally give a big welcome for whoever’s coming next. But this is a whole different level to that. This feels spontaneous and just up from out of the air. And real. Another thing we’re starting to see in here is that when people are there for the first time, they’re being told, ‘You have to stay and see The Diaries.’ And more often than not, they do. As I said, the cheers and whistles are reverberating off the walls even as we’re taking to the stage. Then Den rises to what has suddenly become something of an occasion and, like a boxing announcer, waves her fist in the air and declares, ‘On the sixteenth of April twenty twenty-four, please welcome … The Diaries.’ And the place is just up for it. We don’t even have Ant in tonight, the main man who owns the bar and who often acts as something of a cheerleader for us. We’ve got quite a few people in here for the first time tonight and everyone, it seems, is just carried off and away on the wave that seems to build and veer up at the stage as we reach it. We hadn’t planned for this reaction, or preaction if you will, but what we had planned rises perfectly to the expectation that we are now very much under. To be fair, if we hadn’t planned this, we probably would have done our turnaround on a dime again and done something like this anyway. But Maja is ready. And so am I. ‘Go!’ she shouts. And we’re off and away. Into Make Me Shine. A few seconds into this and the hand clapping starts and cheers fly up into the air. This is a song that explodes into a double chorus, the very business end of the song springing up, instantly fully formed. But then after that, the verse kind of takes it into somewhere bigger again. When that first verse comes up, the excitement raises in the room again and the cheers and calls and claps come even more urgently. And so it is as we go through the other songs in tonight’s planned repertoire, running through Talk About The Weather and I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). With that, Den come on stage and declares another triumphant evening over. But Maja’s not having that. She calls out that Den has to close the evening with her own anthemic song Take Your Bra Off. We think that’s what it’s called. Which is a fist waving singalong celebration of the comfort women feel at the end of the day when they’re finally able to remove this uncomfortable thing. ‘Take your bra off/ Take your bra off woman/ Take your bra off/ Liberate your bosom.’ I told you she was big on the surreal social commentary. Well, surreal doesn’t quite fit here, but maybe a unique take on social commentary. This is another brilliant song in her repertoire and rounds the evening off perfectly. But this time, Maja joins her on stage and the two of them blast it out as they celebrate the joy that is to be ‘In In In!!’

All done and a general hang out begins as the various acts get to mingle a bit more and talk to each other. This is where all the detail swapping and future show arranging and general community happens. And in among it all we meet Gabriel, who’s done his own stand up in here for the first time, lighting the place up with a spontaneous sounding infectious energy and a captivating innocence while at the same time hurtling very quickly towards the edge. He’s running his own open mic on Thursday next week in Finsbury Park and would love us to come. This is on the route of the first of the two buses we take to get here. He says he’s already decided to make us the main event. Brilliant. Thankyou very much. We’ll be there.

And here is that show complete with fantastic reception and introduction from Den.

Day 293

Tuesday April 23

Mark:

I’m going to blast through this Tuesday night as we have our now regular outing to The Ramshackle Collective night at the Ten To One Cocktail bar in Tottenham. It’s amazing we’ve found a regular place to play and have been getting such brilliant receptions. That continues tonight although we begin a little slower than usual, opting for Sand Bang to get things started. Then How You Rock’n’Roll and I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). Now we’re up for this Thursday with Gabriel’s thing.

Day 295

Thursday April 25

Mark:

We have no idea what we’re walking into tonight but oh, does it turn into an amazing experience. Quite a small bar in what appears to be a high end restaurant place specialising in desserts by day and a bar by night. Gabriel’s got a few of the performers to come down from the Ramshackle Collective night, a decent extra cast of performers, and not a bad audience turnout. This is in Finsbury Park, north London, just one bus away from us, which is also the number 29, one of the most regular buses in London so not far off from getting a taxi really.

Gabriel’s welcomes as people arrive are massively effusive and it’s really nice to see that we know a few people here, especially as we’ve arrived decently early to be able to  settle in and hang out. And he very actively encourages mingling, saying that one of the aims of the evening should be that we all leave with a new friend. I think we do, as me and Maja mingle and chat with different people all night. You really can just go up to someone or sit down at a table and bang, you’re chatting like friends. We’re getting a similar feeling with Ten To One actually, and Ant’s event with Tom in Walthamstowe a few weeks ago had a similarly inclusive vibe. Seriously, more bars should be like this.

Gabriel  comperes with his own fantastically high energy, also performing a little seemingly off the cuff and frenetic stand-up between each act. And he puts us on very much towards the end when atmosphere levels in here are about at their highest. When it comes to our turn, he addresses the audience and says, ‘Guys, you have no idea what you’re about to experience.’ And then our name. Yes, a little bemusement from quite a few people, but we’re ready. Poised, Maja calls out, ‘Go!’ With that, we smash into Make Me Shine and the place just takes off. Oh, they’re into this. Even the guys behind the bar are joining in. Yes, they all seem to be thinking. Gabriel was right. They were not ready for this. When the song finishes, the eruption of cheers and applause is so loud I almost want to cover my ears. Just enormous. And we keep it right up there as we follow with Talk About The Weather, then I Like You (Better When You’re Naked) which people are still singing long after we’ve finished. What a fantastic night. 

And here’s the whole thing from that night.

Day 300

Tuesday April 30

Tonight’s a little strange for us. It’s The Ramshackle Collective again and we’re feeling like it’s time to try new things. A new song to start tonight, or at least a new song for this venue. Maybe we’re complacent, maybe we’re tired, maybe we’re just a little off. But a few too many loose moments leave us feeling not completely the best about it all afterwards. But Ant says it’s his favourite show of ours he’s seen. And similarly we get a great reaction from Rick when he sees the whole video. One of the reasons for this is the freshness and originality of our entrance. We tell Den how we’re going to start so that we can have the stage prepped and ready. With that we go to the back of the room and wait for our introduction. When it comes, we slowly walk out and through the room, getting a clap going and then beginning with the A capella Bang Bang, a song we wrote the night before our first gig at The Trap, and then performed the next day at our first gig in The Trap. It’s just kind of fallen off our radar a bit, but Maja suggested today that we bring it back, and so we do.

We’re deep in and it’s all gone off as well as we could possibly have wished with everyone joining in the clapping and the two of us making our way down the bar and singing it out. Then I get to the stage, pick up the guitar, and bang out a rhythmic snare type sound to take things up just that tiny level more. The idea here is that we finish the last chorus then I immediately bash out the intro to the next song, The Cat which has a big frenetic guitar intro. Except we finish the last chorus and I somehow manage to forget that we’ve already done the last verse, so I pull us back into that again. It’s semi trainwreck territory as Maja realises what’s going on and hesitatingly comes in again. With us going through this last verse, it also means we now have to do another chorus to re-outro the thing. In all, a very messy end to what had been such a promising beginning. 

If I can plead any mitigation it could be that I just had too many other things to remember. Once on the stage, first I had to put the capo on the guitar so that it was ready for the first song. Yes I could have put it on earlier, but that would have meant a capo just clamped to immobile strings for up to half an hour or maybe more. Not ideal. But no problem to put it on just after arriving on stage. Except I also have to plug the wireless in because the guitar won’t sit on the stand with the transmitter plugged in. To do this I have to go to the mixing desk, check where the faders are from the soundcheck we did earlier so that we could make our big entrance. So I’ve checked where the faders are, I’ve then taken them to zero, plugged the wireless in and put the faders back where they were. All this while continuing to sing at the same time. Maybe it’s no surprise I forgot we’d already done the last verse. It’s just also possible that this bubble so soon in sets the tone for the rest of the performance. Either making us uneasy, shaking the confidence a little, or doing that thing where you make a mistake and dwell on it, or make a mistake and continue to try to make up for it, so get tense, or too conscious or something and, self fulfilling prophesies and all that, another mistake or two drops in and so on and all that. It’s not really that bad, but enough that we notice and the flow just might not be quite what we would want. 

But there’s a huge but after all this. Ant is emphatic afterwards that this has been our best show yet in his place. Then Rick sees the video afterwards and without any prompting, says that this is his favourite performance of ours. And he’s seen everything. Everywhere. Wow. OK. What do we know?

There’s one more mildly strange thing that happens. We’d entered with Bang Bang, taking that as one of our three songs. So we get up, play The Cat after that, Followed by Rock’n’Roll Tree. We finish Rock’n’Roll Tree and we’re kind of starting to set our stuff down. But no-one in the venue moves. There’s no call for an encore or anything, but everyone’s just looking at us in some kind of anticipation like we’re not done. This really feels like an encore without being an encore. Or maybe Bang Bang was just seen as our way of getting to the stage and so what we’ve done only counts as two songs. I have no idea. We hadn’t planned for this but that’s OK. Into this temporary corridor of uncertainty a call comes out for I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). Well, what else can we do? If you’re privileged enough to have a song requested, there’s only one thing you can do. Here we go.

We do get video of all this, but so far we haven’t put any of it up. Only private so that it’s there for us to show people maybe, which is how Rick saw it. He knows us well, knows our songs, is a very experienced performer and writer himself so knows what he’s watching and how to listen to and watch things properly. So that’s all fine. But this one for public consumption? Not so sure. As we’ve seen, the performances are off with at least one big mistake and clear stage confusion – not good at all – and also with the way we made our entrance, we tried to film the angle down the bar as we came in, and then Maja tried to move the camera angle to the stage as she reached it, but some objects on the table got in the way and she was concentrating on singing and looking at the camera image and stage, and with a microphone in one hand, only had one hand free as it was. And of course very limited time because this was supposed to be an instant operation. So that fiddling is going on and then the framing of the stage isn’t all that good either as a result. So yeah. Probably won’t be putting this one up. But, from what we gather, the experience of the show in the room was really good. The best yet, as we heard from Ant. That can be the case at times with live performances. There are even cases of famous live albums from major bands being received really quite negatively from people who know what they’re talking about. The line of thought here often goes that it’s possible the experience in the room at the time was so good that the decision makers decided to put that show out; the experience from the stage, and the experience of those in the room can be amazing, you want to share it with the world, then the cold hard reality of hearing the recording can be something quite different. It happens. It’s also why so many of the live albums you hear are fixed after the performance in the studio, just as you would patch in and fix a mistake in an actual studio recording. Yep. For big big productions which are intended as live albums, all the instruments are tracked as though in an album recording, and then individually fixed afterwards. So if you’re in a band, the next time someone says something like, ‘Can’t you rock out and play or sing without mistakes? XXX band/ musician/ vocalist does it on their live albums/videos, go listen.’ Well guess what. XXX band/ musician/ vocalist didn’t. It just sounds like they did. Well of course sometimes they probably did to be fair, but you know where I’m coming from. But no, of course this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t all practice or rehearse to minimise live mistakes. I guess it just means we should be a little kinder to ourselves and others when they do happen.

Day 307

Tuesday May 7

A slightly unusual set choice tonight at Ramshackle as we decide to repeat what we did last week with the Bang Bang/ Sand Bang intro. Not a massively attended night tonight which does reduce the impact a little of this kind of entrance and on the ensuing video, but really good to have got this in the can so to speak. Also, on watching it back before posting in here, not massively sure about the tempo clapping at the beginning. It’s great everyone joins in but it doesn’t lend itself to clapping throughout the whole thing so that element kind of tails off somewhat. Something to think about for future outings of this combination should we do it again anytime.

We follow this up with two big smash set songs – the heavy metal-ish My Game My Rules and the very punkish The Cat. A proper barnstorming end to another great evening at The Ramshackle Collective at The Ten To One Bar.

Day 315

Wednesday May 15

We gave the regular Tuesday night a miss last night because we were both a little under the weather. We’re going to be missing next Tuesday’s as well. 

Day 323

Thursday May 23

Which brings us to today. Den messages to say that the next coming Tuesday is almost full with just one spot left. Do we want it? Oh yes. We very much do. After two in a row missed, we have already been feeling so up for it for next week. It’s also really, really cool to be asked for in this way so we are not going to pass that up at all. We will be there. It’s also an opportunity for us to start getting the lineup together that we’re going to play with in our first full London headline show in here on June 6. We need two support acts and we’d love Den to come along with us and open. And after that, we had the idea of getting in touch with my old friend and cover duo partner Dan to come along and do a set of his fantastic bouncing, dreaming, soulful originals. I’m really happy to report that both are very up for it and, with that, we have our lineup.

Day 328

Tuesday May 28

Which leads to tonight. One of the best in here so far, if not the best. Wonderfully attended with a fantastically responsive crowd and a night when everybody really brings their A game. Including a guy called Jeb from Canada who’s in London for just two days and has decided to come here and play one other arranged show somewhere, I’m sorry I can’t remember. And a singer/songwriter called John who’s come to London from Nottingham, about 130 miles away, just to play The Ramshackle tonight. Well, to have a day out in London while he’s here as well, but ostensibly just to play here. Ladies and gentlemen, this is where this thing is getting to now. We ourselves have gone and played open mics in different countries and have marvelled at the end of the night when they’ve brought out their regular person to play last, thinking what a cool and privileged position that is to have. Now we’re that thing to people when they come to England and to London to play.

Day 335

Tuesday June 4

You could be forgiven for thinking we’re currently doing Ramshackle and absolutely nothing else all week every week. Live, at least, that has been the case to be fair, but we have also been out and about here and there. Sometimes just on a hang in various bars, but in some bars we’ve been gently showing our presence and generally making ourselves known, mostly in Camden. It’s just that so far, nothing much Diaryable has happened. It’s more a case of if and when we do manage to get into any of those venues, we could at that point recount the story of how that happened. A lot of this is due to my own (Mark) deep distrust of ‘promoters’ at grassroots level and a reluctance to get involved with them, so we’re trying to make it our own way. And we’ve said between ourselves that if there was a good, well connected local music scene with local bands really thriving, we would have just found it by now. I think it’s existing somewhat, but in pockets and dotted about venues more than as an actual movement or scene. The general way a ‘promoter’ ‘works’ at grassroots level is to sign up bands for their shows and then sell them tickets for them to sell on. Or to tell acts they must commit to bringing a certain number of people, usually between ten and thirty. In this, they often state that if the act fails to deliver that number on the night they won’t be able to play. The thing is, even if you are able to bring thirty of your friends, how do you then play another show within even three months if this is the only criteria under which you can play? Even if they do come to your show three months later, you can’t bank on them at all for any show after that. They’ve done their bit. They’ve seen you play. Maybe satisfied their curiosity. But again and again? Not realistically. Not outside the most loyal friend or family member. And yes, in this model, a promoter or venue will often stipulate that an act can’t play another gig within a certain radius of their venue two months before or after. Moving cities now, but I once tried to book a gig for my blues band in Madrid. I actually managed to pitch an owner and we were on to talking about dates. Then he asked where else we were playing. I very proudly told him of a gig or two we had coming up and that was that. The conversation was over and he just walked away from me. All of which explains what I’ve observed anecdotally, which is that promoters will book grassroots bands from way out of town. Why? Because it becomes their big gig in London and the whole family and the rest go on the trip with them. And that makes up almost their entire audience. But if this is your big gig in London and the only people, or 95 per cent of the people in your audience are people you’ve brought from your home town or city, have you even played in London at all? Well, I suppose you categorically, geographically have. But played to London? Hardly at all. You might as well have just put your house or local pub on the back of a lorry, brought it all the way here and played in that.

I think at this stage we also have to have a look at the general economy and state of play in London. Bottom line, the price of drinks has just gone too high that so people aren’t casually going out to gigs as they once would have done and so those very types of gigs have really tailed off. More than my own anecdotal experiences, I’ve seen this case stated a few times by venue owners saying the very notion of a grassroots scene is close to being financially untenable. I know we’re a few years on now, but a lot of venues didn’t survive the pandemic. And on that, even many of those that did, only survived because they were bought up by multi-national bar companies who were able to ride out the situation until the bar could be opened and become a viable business again. But of course, under such management, it wasn’t going to be an independent venue anymore. Sure the managers can still put on gigs if they want, but those gigs need to make the bar money and immediately. There’s no, ‘Oh, let’s put something on and see what happens,’ or, ‘Let’s see if we can build something here.’ No. It pretty much has to financially deliver on day one or not at all. So they do the not at all thing. That’s a totally understandable business model, but when it’s almost the only game in town, it means there almost isn’t a game in town.

All of which is why grassroots music and entertainment needs people such as Ant and bars such as Ten To One more than ever, and further to that, people like Den and her Ramshackle Collective night encouraging people to come out and play and watch and generally participate. And on this subject you absolutely have to include Tommy at The Marquis. Damn. That place has slipped off our radar a bit, but that, for us, is more a life getting in the way kind of thing which you may be aware has been quite a bit a bit of a thing in the past few months. We haven’t been the best communicators with Tommy in that either to be fair and I’m not entirely sure how that develops moving forwards but yes, it would certainly be nice to get something moving there again. We have been in a few times just for a drink or two. But as you’ll see over the next period, with this being written around six weeks behind, other things are maybe, just maybe, starting to develop for us meaning we really haven’t had as much opportunity to go, at least not during quieter days or evenings. We have been a few times in the past few months on Friday or Saturday nights and it’s been great. But that also means it’s been full on busy with the tunes really kicking off from their fantastic vinyl selection. Not really the best time to be trying to get the attention of the manager for a chat about things. 

Which brings us back to our regular Tuesday night at The Ramshackle at The Ten To One Bar. Another really fun night but a small audience for this one. It can go up and down. We’ve not even put out anything from tonight. For some reason we didn’t get a great sound on the recording, the audience is a bit quiet on it because it was one of those quiet nights, and our performance was a bit rough and, well, ramshackle. But hey, we’re still getting out there and doing our thing and developing as performers. And that, really, is what it is all about. Now we’re ready for our next thing. Our first full show in London when we get up and do our thing for a full 45 minutes. And that’s happening in here, in The Ten To One Bar in two days time on June 6.

Day 337

Thursday June 6

All very cool as we play our first headline show in London today with that 45 minute set in Ten To One. And yes, we go with exactly the same set we dress rehearsed in the Japanese live stream we did in this same venue a few weeks ago. Den is in here to open for us tonight, and I’m also reunited with Dan tonight who is going to go on second with his own set of originals. It’s really great to hear those songs live again. Brings back a few memories of when it was me and him going round playing full cover sets, but also every now and again going off to play an open mic to bash out a few of his. A few real gigs with those as well. And here they are tonight. Beforewhich we get to hear a whole load of Den songs which we haven’t heard before and it’s an absolute joy of nostalgia and surreal whimsy. Even a comical zombie song. What else?

And then we get to do our thing and for the first time he gets to hear us do our thing which I’m really pleased about. And we really do smash it out. But unfortunately, not the greatest of turnouts with Ant saying there was a party in here tonight which a lot of locals came to so it’s unlikely they’ll be in here again tonight. And no they aren’t. We’re assured that this won’t be the case next time. Because once we’re done, Ant says he’s really up for doing this regularly with us. Every two or three months or so. Oh wow. Just like that we have a regular full gig.

Grassroots gigs. Small audiences can happen. It’s a thing and part of what you buy into so that’s fine. You hope to build on the smallest of beginnings. That’s what it’s all about. The real minor downside from tonight is that we get no useable video. That’s because there’s one table in here that just constantly talks all the way through. And loudly too. Also kinda close to where our camera is set up. On the video it just sounds like they’re totally competing with us all night. Through every single song. For the full duration of every single song. Even during applauses they continue shouting across their table at each other, completely oblivious to the fact that there’s a gig going on in here. Oh well. It’s a public bar, they have every right to use it as they please. But…please. The thing is, there are two back areas they completely could have taken over if they’d wanted. It would have been quieter and therefor easier to talk in those places and they still could have heard the show if they’d wanted it to be a kind of background to their own thing. But no. They had to sit in the middle of the audience and right near our camera and do it. So yeah. No useable video from our first London headline. Shame. Thanks guys.

Day 339

Saturday June 8

One of those kind of lovely days we haven’t been massively Diarying so I thought we’d get one in here. We decide to take a walk into Soho. From our apartment in Camden, a brisk walk can get us there in about half an hour. Once there we head into Chinatown where we find a nice Korean restaurant for ramen. Then another walk down the street sees us discover a great sports bar for the main event of the day. The women’s French Open final. Which we get to see in our new discovery Clubhouse 5. A just about everything sports bar which has a variety of sports on all its TVs downstairs, and has dedicated its entire upstairs area to today’s final. Result. 

Day 349

Tuesday June 18 

Maja was away with work last week so we didn’t do our Tuesday Ramshackle thing. We’re back tonight though, and with a brand new song. Till Sunset Burns. This is not one of our explosive songs. Instead it’s a slow burning, almost singer/songwritery thing which winds its way into an epic chorus, hits a few patches of light and shade, and then launches into a huge, wandering and building outro which rises to quite a few different peaks. It’s a really good feeling to have a new song worked in and in the actual live repertoire now, and it gets a very encouraging reaction. We’ve got a lot of new songs to come, of many different styles. Slow burns like this one, a few big ballady type things, a few out and out rockers and, frankly, metallers, and a few of the happy-go-lucky whimsical type. 

Day 353 

Saturday June 22

We get a message from Gabriel today asking if we’re interested in playing the bar of his friend Anna, who we also met when she came to his event that we played a few weeks ago. We spoke to Anna about this bar at Gabriel’s event and there was talk of us playing it at some point, maybe. Well, here we are. Brilliant. We get right back and say yes, absolutely. We’d love to. It’s put in the diary for Friday July 19 at bar Cava-Ri in Norbury, south London. So that’s a trip across the river to play a gig. That will be the first time that’s happened.

I’ll cover this bit now. We see the bill a week or so later and it looks really interesting. A comedian, a belly dancer, a compere duo featuring Gabriel, and ourselves. This looks like a really cool event to have been asked to be a part of.

Day 354

Sunday June 23

Me and Maja have been playing pool every now and again at a few bars in Camden. And Maja’s also been recently introduced to snooker on the TV, mostly with the world championship final a few weeks ago in May. We got to talking about snooker and she said she’d really like to try it. Even if just the once. Just to see a real table. Maja’s never seen a full size snooker table.

At a Ramshackle event one evening a while ago we mentioned this to Ant in conversation and he was like, ‘I play snooker all the time. Give me a call sometime and we’ll arrange it.’ Wow. Did not see that coming. So yesterday I messaged him to see if he was up for it today and he was. Which is how we’ve now come to find ourselves in a snooker hall in Finsbury Park, a place he comes to regularly. He leads us in, asks for his usual table and we go out the back of the bar to enter an old style theatre type venue. We’re not going in there though. Instead, we take a side door which leads to a staircase, and upstairs a large room containing four full size snooker tables. And we have the place all to ourselves. Maja gets a brief introduction to the basic rules, which is pot a red, then a colour – black if it’s on as that’s worth more – then a red and so on until you stop when you reach a score of 147. Although that last part might be for the slightly more advanced players. For the likes of us, I warn Maja that the pockets are lot more unforgiving than what we’re used to in pool. If the ball isn’t headed directly to the centre of the pocket, it’s probably not going to go in. There’s very little rattling in off the jaws like there is in pool. 

Rather than winner stays on or anything like that – because games of snooker can take ages – we’re all going to play in the same game, taking it in turns around the three of us. Ant breaks, because he knows how to and it’s a good opportunity to introduce us to that element. He does it expertly, gently separating a few reds from the triangle while bringing the white all the way back down the table to near where it started. Maja’s up next. Now, I’ve played a fair amount of pool with Maja, including on a few tables we’ve found around the bars in Camden. She’s not the best. And now here she is taking on snooker. With the nearest available ball far further ahead than the longest pool table she would have played on. The white is somewhere around the still spotted green and brown. She bends down to the table and gives it a good whack in what looks like the general direction of a loose red sitting off to the left central side of the pack, somewhere between the zones of the pink and black. Not only does the white smash the red with full force, the the red then goes bounding off to make that lovely snooker whacking sound to go directly into the bottom corner pocket. Maja’s first ever shot on a full size snooker table and it’s one that would have been applauded in The Crucible. For those not into snooker at all, that’s the traditional venue for the world championships, and having to explain that has forced me into a somewhat unsatisfyingly clunky ending to a wonderful little anecdote. It’s a shot that causes all three of us to reverberate in wonder and takes a few shots to calm down from. Not those kind of shots. We have a serious game going on here. But seriously, I think we could all just call it a day and go home there and then. Peak reached. Job done. There’s only one star of today’s outing.

But we stay and put in a few really fun frames with Maja, if not quite pulling of that level of shot again, sinking a few very respectable more balls nonetheless. Who knew a low to middling clumsy – if we’re being fair – pool player could come and boss it like a natural on a snooker table? She has snooker veteran Ant quite speechless quite a few more times today, but never moreso than that first shot. Sorry for going on about it, but I think it’s one of the most remarkable moments of sport I’ve ever seen, certainly among friends. 

That wonderful little adventure done and we’re off for Sunday part two, which is to find a lovely pub in the area and have a beer garden Sunday lunch and a few early evening summer beers. Which we also achieve quite spectacularly. Yes. This is a Sunday that’s been totally Sunday’d.

Day 363

Tuesday July 2, 2024

Out for our regular Tuesday today and we can now add another regular to our dates. Regular comedian and very much friend of the Ramshackle Antonio asks us if we’re interested in doing a gig with him every Monday. Wow. Yeah. OK. This is to be a comedy night in Highbury, north London. The idea is for us to play in between the various sets of comedians he books for each night. Brilliant. For a long time we’ve been thinking we would be a good matchup with a comedy night. This was part of our thinking when we went to the Edinburgh Festival where we managed one great night of performance but drew a blank absolutely everywhere else. But now here in London, almost a year to the day since then, we have become a booking for a comedy night. Brilliant. Oh, and the venue is just two train stops away from us on the overground from Camden, which itself is super close to us. Less than 20 minutes door to door.

As for tonight, we’re back after missing last week and we decide to give new song Till Sunset Burns another runout. It really is good to be starting to get some of the new ones out now. We have quite a few waiting in the wings to get their own starts sometime in the coming weeks and months.

Day 368

Sunday July 7

Second time out with Ant playing snooker today. Brilliant. This time we don’t have the upstairs venue to ourselves. Which was lovely last time, but today there’s a bit more of an atmosphere in here, even with just two or three other people, which is its own kind of special. And one of the regulars in today is having his own practice session which he invites Maja to join. Which means me and Ant get on with having our own game while Maja gets to learn from a snooker jedi. ‘Watch out,’ says Ant. ‘She’ll be kicking all our arses by the time she’s finished over there.’ Yes, she does indeed return to us armed with a whole new set of skills. And given the rate at which Maja learns, there may well be a bit of snooker related kicking going on around here soon. After this it’s onto a local pool hall for a totally different experience. There must be around 20 tables in here, all buzzing with games and fizzing with shots. To that we add our own. And after battling the huge wide expanses of a snooker table all afternoon, rather than making any great claim to cue mastery, I think it’s at least fair to say this is very much like running on a road after training on sand.

Day 369

Monday July 8

The first of what is now set to be what we do on Mondays. Yep. The Diaries’ first residency. This is a free comedy show in a really cool community hall type venue above The Brewhouse and Kitchen bar in Highbury. Normally when you say above a bar you think a place up a bunch of stairs and kind of secretly hidden away. This isn’t like that at all. Instead, it’s fully up front as you enter the beer garden that you have to walk through to enter the bar proper. As you do, if you look up you’ll see a glass fronted room which is reached by a staircase from the beer garden itself. So, very open and not at all secretive. However, there is another way to reach it and, having missed the front entrance, we do indeed go through the bar. To be directed to a staircase at the back of what really is quite a large bar. Up that staircase we go to find a long, dark corridor. Still no sign of any venue. So we sheepishly venture down the corridor wondering exactly where it is we’re heading. Of course, there’s only one thing to say, nay, shoutout, fists aloft, in such a situation. And yes, we do. ‘Hello Cleveland. Hello Cleveland.’

End of the corridor and we still haven’t found anything. Just a door leading to the open air. Oh. OK. But oh. We step outside to find ourselves on a balcony overlooking the beer garden. Behind us is a glass frontage and what looks to be something of a venue. I do believe we’ve found it. Yep. Here we are and there’s Antonio and his co-host and drag performer Rubynia. Welcome to The Funny Brewer. 

Not massively attended tonight, but a good smattering of comedians and a few friends that have come along with them. There is a bar up here, but it’s unused so we’re all kind of on our own and it’s set up as a seated venue, all in rows facing the performance area. Behind this Antonio has set up a projector onto which the name of each performer is displayed behind them as they do their thing. Brilliant. Everyone has their own backdrop. So no, this is not an open mic, instead it’s a curated evening with everyone having been booked, and ourselves in there introduced by Antonio as the headliners. Yep. We’ll take that.

Right from the beginning we’ve said that we’ll play to 10 people like it’s ten thousand. Damn, we’ll play to one person like it’s ten thousand. Antonio has exactly the same mindset. The lights go off, the music comes on. Then he’s on the prowl, walking up the aisle in between the seats, a big welcome through the speakers from Rubynia behind him, so we hear, ‘Now please, welcome to the stage, Antonio Fadda.’ And here he comes. Just like he’s walking through his own comedy club full of hundreds, maybe even thousands, of cheering spectators all seated in thrilled expectation of a great night full of never before seen wonders. This is the image you need to project. As people are watching you, could they imagine you on the big stage? In the stadium? In front of a baying crowd, on your side or not? Because if you come out meek, that’s all they’re going to say. No, they could never cut it in a real arena. Or they just won’t see it. But come out and own the place? That person might be thinking, ‘You know, maybe. Just maybe.’ Or even, ‘Oh yes. I can see this now.’ Hundreds. Thousands. This is just what it would look like. And yes, this person could be up there doing it. Yes, I see them on the stadium stage, or walking among the aisles of the huge comedy club.’ Maybe they even imagine it as they’re watching them up there doing their thing. I’ve seen it myself at a few tiny open mics. Two particular performers come to mind. One was the first time I’d ever seen it. On the stage in the tiny upstairs venue at Fred Zepellins in Cork, Ireland. He  came out and, seriously, I could have sworn the guy was on a west end stage and had projected his hologram to us little mortals who could only make it to an open mic in Ireland. The other was Sally in Madrid. The first time I saw her on a tiny stage in a basement bar that looked like a cave – at Triskells incidentally – I thought, ‘I’m watching her at Wembley. She is on the Wembley stage right now.’ A little while later, quite a while later, she was the singer in my blues band.

And now this is Antonio. Right here. Fully formed. Already huge, no matter the size of the audience. Rubynia is also very game in this environment and fully puts it out there in the staple of the drag queen. The lip sync performance.

A few comedians do their thing, Antonio compering between them, then it’s our turn. What’s been decided is that we’ll play during the break. So, comedians on. Then us. Then on with the show. Problem. And I really did see this coming. We’re in a room upstairs with a non-functioning bar. The real bar is downstairs. The toilets are also at the end of that very long corridor we came down and it’s not ideal to sneak out to the toilet at a sit down comedy show. So as soon as the end of the first half is announced and it’s our turn. Yep. You know what’s coming. Everybody leaves. Everybody. Remember I said we’d play to one person like it was ten thousand? Well, ta daaa.

That one person is Rubynia who very graciously stays behind and takes in our entire performance of four songs. Not only that, but she really fully gets into it. I like to think that we have something to do with that and it’s not just pity reactions. I really don’t think so. As we get to the end, people are starting to come back, and when we finish our fourth and final song, there are big shouts for encore. Well, as big a shout as four people can make. What can we do? Can’t let down our public. That wouldn’t do. Wouldn’t do at all.

Hello Cleveland…

When it’s all over, myself, Maja, Antonio and Rubynia all stay behind and have drink in the now empty(er) venue. It’s a great setting and really quite dramatic. This could well be the beginning of a movie and I make that point as we’re sitting there. Newly cleared venue, still brushed with the sparse detritus of an audience. Chairs scattered and musical and stage equipment half put away. And us sitting at a table we’ve pulled to the back/front? of the venue so it’s now at the long wall to wall windows looking out onto the balcony and Highbury high street beyond. We tell each other it’s all a really good show. Just needs to be found by an audience. There’s also a rethink of our half time show. Not quite The Superbowl was it? It’s decided that instead of playing the interval next time we’ll be integrated into the actual show itself. Not fully thought out yet, but the direction of thinking is that we’ll play two songs at the end of the first half, then two songs to bring the second half back in. Yep. Sounds good.

Day 370

Tuesday July 9

So this is two regular gigs now. Out at Highbury on Mondays, then in at Ramshackle on Tuesdays. Yes, Ramshackle is an open mic, but we feel we’ve adopted it as so much more and that does feel mutual.

And oh, we just missed out on Ramshackle and Ten To One being our 100th gig. Tonight is gig number 99.

But.

First, it’s happening on the ninth.

Second, someone in here has a birthday tonight and they’ve brought along a cake to share with everyone. It’s a flake cake. The flake is the chocolate bar used to make a 99.*

Third, we get our 99th follower on Instagram.**

*I always thought it was called a 99 cos it cost 99p. But I’ve just looked it up and this thing was first put together in the 1920s when it couldn’t possibly have cost 99p. And no-one knows where the name does come from. Theories apparently include two different addresses where the first ones were constructed – 99 Portobello Street in Portobello, Scotland, and 99 Wellington Street in Manchester. Maybe they cost a penny or something like that back then. Four quid or more now. But inevitably, at some point between those prices it would have cost 99p. Which I seem to remember them being when I was a kid.

**Our 99th Instagram follower is comedy drama performer, Marigold. She’s taken an excerpt out of her one woman stage act as an isolated performance for open mics and the like. When she says she’ll do the follow thing, we have no idea we’re at 98. Oh, and I should mention that our relatively low number of followers could be attributed to us having only recently re-picked up on actually using Instagram. We’ve also quite possibly not been as active as we could have been.

The only thing we were possibly missing tonight was red balloons.

But…

Day 375

Sunday July 14

We’re back in at Ten To One tonight. Not to play, but to watch the soccer Euro 24 final. Which somehow and incredibly, England have made it to. The colours of the English flag are red and white. We enter the bar tonight and it is full of…

Drum roll

Drum roll

Drum roll

Red balloons.

For the second Euros in a row, England make it to the final but lose. Still, fun to be making it to finals. Before the last Euros, and with the glorious exception of 1996, England’s record in this competition had been disastrous to mildly acceptable. Now they’ve helped us mark gig number 99. Now, onto 100.

Day 376

Monday July 15

So, our hundredth performance has arrived and it is claimed by Antonio’s The Funny Brewer weekly Monday event at The Brewhouse And Kitchen in Highbury. Unlike our debut here last week which suffered from, let’s say, a scheduling mishap, this week we very much do have an audience and we are welcomed to the stage ecstatically.

We are setting tonight up just like it was suggested last week after we played in the break during which everyone, er, went on a break. So the format is an evening of comedians in two halves with us ending the first half with two songs and beginning the second half with two more.

And we hit this one hard, starting with Make Me Shine then blasting into I Like You (Better When You’re Naked). Then we come back with the latest addition to our set, Till Sunset Burns before rounding it all off with Rock’n’Roll Tree. The reception to everything is just incredible. A very fitting atmosphere for gig number 100. 

Day 377

Tuesday July 16

Maja’s up early for a work awayday tomorrow so we have to leave after the first half of tonight’s Ramshackle Collective. With that, Den accommodates us by letting us close the first half. 

Day 380

Friday July 19

After the excitement of our 100th gig and then Tuesday night, tonight we’re off for our third performance of the week. This is the gig Gabriel and Anna got in touch about a few weeks ago and it’s at a brand new venue for us – Anna’s bar Cava-Ri in Norbury. Which is in south London. Whole new territory for us – for those not familiar at all with London, it’s pretty much split by the River Thames on north south lines and it is totally a thing that those living north of the river rarely venture to the south of it, and vice versa. Apart from those from the south going to the city centre, the main commercial, tourist and political parts of which are on and around the northern banks. We have absolutely no idea what to expect. The poster advertises quite a substantial and varied bill with pictures included of all the acts, including us. We haven’t even seen the venue. We thought about going down a week or so ago to say hello, hang out, see what it was. But when we checked, it looked like a bit of a trek and we weren’t up for that so it didn’t happen. I wonder if it had been the same distance away but north, we would have gone? Oh we could have fun with that one. But we’re going there and playing it today so let’s get on it.

It really isn’t that bad a trip at all. From nearby Kings Cross, a fast, one-stop train takes us to Croydon, a bit further south than where we’re going. From there quite a few buses are going our way which means a really short wait for a bus that drops us off almost right outside the place. Oh. We’re on London Road. Cool. This is a small-ish but busy high street and we now see Cava-Ri and it’s a cool, bright, modern looking type place. Exactly what you would expect of a wine bar and restaurant, which is what it is. And it’s beautifully set out with its tiled floors and sharp, clean edges. A truly classy venue and minimalist without the minimal. Subminimal. In front is what looks like a Mediterranean garden scene, complete with artificial grass, and totally independent to any of its surroundings. Matches the weather. It’s warm tonight. So much so that hardly anyone is venturing inside. Meaning everything is going to happen out here in our own little piece of the Med, a la Norbury and san mer.

Anna is delighted to see us as we approach from across the road. She welcomes us with a warm embrace and the wonderful exuberance of the host that she is, and sees to it we get free drinks before we start to set up. The regulars, dotted about the garden area on comfortable plush chairs, also welcome us in and invite us to sit and mingle. A few hellos, then we have to think about the set up. It’s simple once we’re settled. This little garden runs the short length, or rather width, of the glass fronted venue. The outside runs about five or six metres or so out onto the pavement with its own little wall. We’re to play at the far end, essentially looking down the side of the place and playing to what we now think of as the back of the garden. We discover now that we’re going to play a couple of sets of three songs each. We have compere/comedian Gary, who will be joined later by Gabriel. We’re going to start it all off, then another comedian will play, then we’re on again, then the star of the show will be a belly dancer. OK. All fun. Let’s go. Gary gently opens proceedings with a warm, welcomingly familiar old skool comedy halls act injected with his own spin and personality. It’s an almost conversational performance, performer and audience as one. Then he announces us and we’re on.

We decide our opening tonight will be How You Rock’n’Roll followed by I Like You (Better When You’re Naked) and then closing the first set with Talk About The Weather. Everyone in front of us is kinda chilled, and we’re interrupted every now and then by motorbikes or police cars going past. But that all adds to the wonderful summer, outdoor vibe we have going here, playing our songs and rocking out with the wind in our hair. As we get into this short set, more and more people start paying attention. Then, as we get deep into Weather, Gabriel arrives and rises the excitement of the whole place, especially when we hit the shout it out loud mid section. Can you feel it/There’s a storm coming/Can you feel it/Through my hands I’ve got the rhythm it’s running. Yes. He’s totally into it and it looks like he’s starting to take a few people with him. It’s all starting to bounce now. 

When we finish, he comes straight up to us on the stage area and introduces us to the people who have been, I would say, politely curious rather than exuberant about us. That changes when we go back out to the floor and so many people want to say hello and tell us how much they enjoyed what we did. But until all that happens, it feels a little more rather reserved. Summer evening outdoor vibes and so on. Gabriel is absolutely effervescent and changes all that. Up and with us, he asks if he can take the mic and Maja obliges. Into it he declares, ‘That was The Diaries Ladies and gentlemen. They’re going to be famous.’ He then briefly interviews us before going into hypeman mode to call out, ‘Make some noise for The Diaries.’ And they do. We are here now. He continues his impromptu interview, making sure people know who we are, where we’re from and where they can find out more about us online. Talking to us through the mic he says: ‘I really think that they don’t know that you are going to be famous and in years to come they will be like, Oh wow, I saw them at Cava-Ri.’ He then asks if they could get one more out of us, but we then say we will be back a little later. He’s delighted with that answer and the three of us all leave the stage together and happily walk back into the summer’s evening, ice all well and truly broken. We’ve thought it before, but after this little bump it’s fair to say that Gabriel is quite possibly our biggest cheerleader in London and we are actually starting to gather one or two. What a wonderful thing that is to be able to say.

I think we did reasonably well in the mingling stakes before our trip to the stage. But now everyone’s seen us do our thing, and with the confirming storm of Gabriel’s intervention, we really start to get in among it and talk to a few people. Or rather, more people start to come and say hi to us and speak enthusiastically about what they’ve just seen and to ask more about what we’re all about. Brilliant. Anna’s visible enthusiasm about us has also clearly had quite a bit to do with all that. They’ll be seeing more of us up on stage later. In the meantime we all sit back and enjoy the wonderful comedy of Junior Booker, clearly a pro who would be high up on any bill you’d pay to get into. Gabriel’s saying we’ll be famous. I’m going to pay that forward and predict you’ll be hearing the name Junior Booker a bit more sometime in the future, although he already has a fairly healthy profile around London so I can barely claim to be ahead of the game on that one. After we’ve kickstarted everything, he raises it all to another level. After which Gary entertains us all for a little while again. Gabriel also gets up and does his thing. Huge personality fired effervescent comedy which is impossible to ignore. And we do our thing again. Make Me Shine, Rock’n’Roll Tree, and My Game My Rules. This leads to solid calls for an encore so we come back with The Cat. Now it’s time to sit back, by this time really among the people as we feel more and more at home, and wait to see what this belly dancing thing is all about as Chantel prepares for her entrance. And wow. What an entrance it is. I really won’t get all technical or anything about Eastern dress or belly dancing moves or anything like that, but this really is a full on visual assault of music, dance and pure athletic gymnastics. What a show. She’s everywhere. In between every table, over every chair, and making eye contact with everyone in the place, inviting us all in and making everyone feel, in their own little way, that this performance is just for them. It’s a whole experience and a fantastic show to close what has been a great evening. We stick around for a while longer, mingling as the atmosphere of excitement rumbles on. Everyone’s really been on their game tonight but Chantel has elevated things to a higher level still.

Until…

A few weeks later we bump into Gabriel out and about. He tells us that not only are people still talking about us at Cava-Ri, but he’s heard more about us than even the belly dancer, who we thought absolutely owned the place. Wow. We really did leave something out there in south London. And one more thing.

When it’s time to leave, after having had a wonderful time with Anna and Gary and so many of their regulars, I suddenly realise where we are. I mentioned that we came here via Croydon on a fast overground train from Kings Cross. Fine. But hey. We’re just down the road from Brixton. A main road all the way with a ton of buses heading down there. Surely it won’t take long for one of those buses to come along. It doesn’t and in no time at all we’re in Brixton. From there, it’s a short and simple tube ride to Camden and back home. Oh wow. If I’d figured that out a few weeks ago we totally would have come for that introductory look around and hang out. Well, now we know this, we tell ourselves we will be back again for a casual visit. Not at all the trek we initially thought. Even the Croydon way we came was convenient enough. But this. From Camden, a short hop to Brixton then just about any bus you want down the road to the bar. And we can combine it with a visit to the wonderful area of Brixton next time, which Maja hasn’t experienced yet. It really is a fantastic part of London and I’ve been saying for a while we should go. Now we have an extra excuse to do so. Which is the little plan we come up with now. A trip to Brixton, hang out there a little while, then onto Cava-Ri. Yep. We will see you soon. And thankyou very much for tonight. It has been a wonderful adventure and we got to be part of it all.

Oh. We got paid tonight too. Brilliant. Brilliant. Operating as an original music act, that takes things to a slightly different level. It’s also only when we’re on our way home that we reflect on the evening as a whole. Those performers were top drawer professionals. And we were booked on the same bill as them. Yep. A whole new London level. And we totally belonged.

One more thing. Unfortunately there’s hardly no useable video from tonight. For our first performance we had a few motorbikes and siren blasting emergency vehicles go bombing down the road right next to us. Then, with the streets slightly quieter for our second slot, our tripod got just a little tiny bit bumped just as we started. Which was enough to totally mess up the framing, putting just a little of me in the shot and absolutely none of Maja. But we do have Gabriel’s entrance and presentation of us to share with you. It’s not publicly available, but as you’ve been kind enough to stay with us this far, here you go.